She was adrift...
On moondrunk tide
The starshipped ride
Of Her mind
Listing to port
Bruised and battered
In the glazed Baltic of his eyes
The gulf of reality
An unnavigible tempest
The gulf of reality
An unnavigible tempest
Dreams scuttling
Doubts flooding
the pierced planking of her underbelly.
Hands that once glided over him
with swan feathered strokes
with swan feathered strokes
Now screeched raven mad
Clawing
Flailing
Desperate
Like last prayers
Grasping
Onto the railing
Of that sinking love
The rosary was broken
Its black beads scattered and floated away
In the tsunami of grief
How quickly
The lodestone turned anchor
Drowning them both
In her last gasps for breath
That breath...
A consumption
A hacking cough
A viral death spiral
A Killing off
No test for echoes
No S.O.S.
The ease of the capsize
Belying its distress...
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10 of 15Moreno problem. i love reading your work,
intense.
It's frightening what we do for love.
Great write C.C..
Yep... love or something like it... Thanks, lovely. xoxo
I can't watch that hand in the water! I have a phobic about dark water & drowning! but the write was kool! ;)
(((((Sulita))))))
Thank you, mami chula!
Honestly? I have can't swim because I almost drowned as a child & though I love the water & jet skis & sailboats, I will panic if I am in water & my feet can't touch bottom...
xoxoxox
Oh, enjoyed this so much!
Yay!!!! Thanks, sweetie! I'm so glad! xoxoxoxoxo
I get that moondrunk, sometimes, too. Makes me want to do some very foolish things!
Hahahaha J!!!
I love that you use my boy Lincecum in your simile! Yay!
You are so cute! I enjoy constructive criticism from someone who knows what they're talking about.
Here is the very first thing I wrote I unedited with my nothing but my third eye wheeling & my third mind reeling, it's very simple & very similar:
She was slipping...
On moondrunk tide
The starshipped ride
Of Her mind
Listing to port
Bruised and battered
In the ice-glazed
Baltic blue of his eyes
Dreams scuttling
Doubts flooding
the pierced planking of her underbelly
Hands that once embraced him
like fluttering doves
Now reached raven mad
Flailing
Desperately
Clasped prayers
Grasping
Onto the railing
Of that sinking love
The rosary was broken
Its black beads scattered and floated away
In the tsunami of grief
How quickly
The lodestone turned anchor
Drowning them both
In her last gasps for breath
That breath...
A consumption
A hacking cough
A viral death spiral
A Killing off
No test for echoes
No S.O.S.
The ease of the capsize
Belying its distress
Hahahaha ((((((((((J))))))))))) you are the specific dream boat! I WISH!!! Ok, off to commune with my arboreal brethren! A hike in time saves me from having to starve myself later.... I hope we collide later! xoxoxo
good lord!!!!! the daimon that possesses you is absolutely astounding to me!!! I like still your latest chiseling though, such as carving the line "like fluttering doves" with the more imagatic "swan feathered strokes". You know, I have been on and off reading Giovanni Boccaccio's, "The Decameron" and I must say one would think Dante's peer had you in mind for his prototype of the seven fair ladies and their 10 day remarkable story-telling :)
grrr myspace html
naked eye form the lp odds and odds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FSZhCKbQZc
The Who is beyond!!!!!!
“Either” one's sonic antenna turns northward and there finds the once dream-intoxicated Selene spilling her recollections amidst three very power laden pied pipers
“Clutch at plausible deniability
Don't touch that dial ---
We're in denial
Until the showcase trial on tv
What a show --- vertigo”..
Video vertigo
< a href = “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff8LXULsdo8 “ >Test for echo ...
“or”
one's sonic attention is drawn across the mist-laden north Atlantic where the daughter of Hyperion and Theia weeps to windmills of quadrophonic sound
“You hold the gun and I hold the wound,
And we stand looking in each other's eyes,
it all looks fine
to the naked eye
but it don't really happen that way at all.”
This has lots of potential – though no doubt can stand loftily alone as it is, but at the risk of brightly bill-boarding my already well-known obnoxiousness, I might recommend, my dear C.C., that you leave this particular poetic pursuit aside for just a little while, and then revisit it at some later period. It is just my opinion of course, but I believe, like a master sculpture who is a master precisely because he knows the subtle difference that a slight adjustment makes that, that you believe something more is needed here :)
p.s.
you really must put a comment system on your tumblr account. As a point of principle I refuse to be a "like" kinda fellow :P
hahahahaha somebody should really pick up the stone and whip it like a Lincecum high heater at my swollen ego every time I decide to act the critic. Perhaps I should learn to proof read before I publish my own ridiculousness lol
if you did nothing more to this it would still far outweigh anything I might concoct. :)
Hahaha I think there is a "reply" thingy on my Tumblr., but it is not very high tech.. You're right... this is half baked & I keep tweaking it because I know it does have potential.... I do need to let it macerate for a bit, but it's sort of fun doing it this way on the fly.... J, the breadth of your mythological knowledge is quite impressive! And Bravo! I was pinging Rush here... I love that song! xoxoxo
Hey C.C.! :-)