shortney b

ok so i had too many family guy quotes up...so i just saved my favorites...enjoy! Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks.// Vacuum repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake. Peter: Oh. Well, did you save it? Vacuum repairman: Uh, no. Peter: You bastard.// Lois: Good, I don't have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway, Lois, and we'll throw it out. I don't want you to get rusty.// Stewie: Ok, ok. I've got it, I've got it. If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer. You'd need an egg calender. Ah ha ha ha. Oh, that's right. I went there.// Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk! Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk! //