christine-machine =]
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"RIP Baby Huth 1-22-08 Mommy will always love and miss you! <3"
Female
18 years old
PLEASANTVILLE, Pennsylvania
United States
Last Login:
7/8/2008
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Mood:
rejected
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http://www.myspace.com/enthusiasticdeath |
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christine-machine =]'s Interests
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As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probly will. You will have your heart broken probly more than once and it's hared every time. You;ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laught too much, and love like you've never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
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And honestly, I have been begging for answers
That you and only you can give to me
A voice crying loud
I've been crying for days now
And as I start to run, I stop to breathe
(And I was nearly scared to death)
And I was nearly scared to death
(Why you left in paragraphs)
Why you left in paragraphs
(The words were nearly over us)
The words were nearly over us
You stop and turn and grab your bags
As hours move to minutes
And minutes take longer to break
I will be desperately awaiting
So let me think of to word it
Is it too soon to say 'perfect'?
If I could find another thirty minutes somewhere
I'm sure everything would find me
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes
And every waves drags me to sea
Tell me once again
That you'll love me to the death
And should I die, you swear that you will come for me
As I fade away, you reach out your hand
And I will have you know.. I'm scared to death.
Holding onto broken hearts
memories are what's left of us
you're trying too hard to be my friend
& i'm placing all our pictures in
these broken frames to remind
me never to fall in love again
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.
"Advice is what we ask for when we
already know the answer,but wish we didn't."
Don't say you're sorry when your not, because baby I know you're only sorry you got caught.
a thousand times a day i tell you i love the way you sing
even though it makes me cry, its my favorite time to be alive
and all i know is i feel lost without you
“ i miss you ” is not enough
I understand now. I know that Im always that girl. Never the girl. Just that girl, the one that gets used, hurt, lied to, betrayed, confused. The one that boys go to when they need someone to hold onto. The one thats never the girl, Im always the second best. Never have I been the one to make boys fall weak at the knees, drop everything cause they love me so much, want nothing more than to be with me, be amazingly happy cause they have me. Im the other girl. & Im getting used to it.
Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need is a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way.
be sure to make mistakes. make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow. and, i want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and i insist that you be a dreamer. god. i never believed in god. in fact, i've spend a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. but i hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that i've come to realize, is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. the important thing is for you to believe in something, because i promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and i want you to feel safe always. and then there's love. i want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. but you don't have to chase after it either. you just have to be patiend, and it'll come to you. don't be afraid. and remember; to love is to live.
you say girls are confusing? nice try. girls are the easiest to understand. we want love. we want trust. we want everything most guys lack. we want someone to change for us, we want them to accept the fact that sometimes we forget to shave. we want someone who doesn't put drugs and alcohol before us. we want back rubs. we want you to give us flowers. we want you to hold our hand. we want you to be able to have sex with us for the beauty, not just because you want it. we all just want our own prince charming.
I miss those midnight conversations.
I miss how you would make me laugh
out of my own frustration.
But you just come to know that
you get so used to being loved,
& in one second it can all come
crashing down. Now I know to not let
anything get that far ever again,
because I didn't know how I could
wake up one morning and have it all hit
me. I didn't know
I could miss you this much
Sometimes a person has to let go,
because their heart is just too tired
of holding on. They'll always love
you though. No matter what.
It crushes me so bad
to know that i tried
my hardest to be
perfect for you, &
I still lost you..
Sometimes I just miss that boy. The one who held my hand walking down the street; who's arms I laid in and never wanted to go away. The one who I talked to for hours and told pointless stories to. The one who knew everything about me and likes me anyway. The one who knew exactly what I was saying even if I didnt and helped me when I had no clue what to do. The one who showed me what love was and what is was like to need someone there. The one who could only make me ry and hurt me, like no other guy could. Those eyes that said everything, that sense of sarcasm that was always there; the way even he couldnt stop from falling in love. That even though we fought constantly and couldnt stand each other, we couldnt leave each others side. Something it still there; something that never left me the day that boy broke my heart in two. Something like your first love that wasnt ready to end. Something that makes your stomach flip at the brush of a hand or arm. Something that makes it so much harder to know that hes not yours anymore, but hers. Something that makes you want to hide away and cry all those tears, because suddenly all of those memories come back and it almost hurts worse to know thats its all out of control. And you just miss everyhing about the boy thats never coming back.
Do you think of me early in the morning?
Late in the evening, back in that summertime
when you were mine, you see.
You made me so crazy; shocked and amazed me.
You were my tear to cry, my lullaby to sing.
Now I wanna be, I gotta be your girl
I just wanna be, I gotta be your girl.
-Brianna Taylor
I still love my High School friends. Some people never change at all. We're still the same compulsive drunks we were when we were small . =]
I think that sometimes we love people
so much that we become numb to it
because if we actually felt
how much we really loved them, it would kill us.
That doesn't make you a bad person,
it just means your heart is too big.
maybe one day you will understand
I don’t want anything from you
but to sweetly hold your hand.
Until that day just please don’t be so down,
don’t make frowns, you silly clown.
just come and open up your folding chair next to me,
my feet are buried in the sand and there’s a breeze.
there’s a shadow, so you can’t see my eyes,
and the sea is just a wetter version of the skies.
"I live to like you and I can't like you anymore.
So, when you get your heart splattered all over hell and
you're feeling really low and dirty,
don't run to me
to help pull you back up because, maybe,
for the first time in your life,
I won't be there."
sometimes you have to be strong for yourself.
you have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend.
what’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t.
love is worth fighting for, but sometimes
you can’t be the only one fighting.
at times, people need to fight for you.
if they don’t, you just have to move on
and realize what you gave them was more
than they were willing to give you.
hopefully, people realize great things when they come around.
and don’t lose something real.
always fight, until you can’t anymore,
and then be fought for.
one day you're going to want that specific girl.
that girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be for you.
that girl who wanted nothing more than to
be there for you and love you the only way she knew she could.
that girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths.
that girl who still can't bring herself to hate you,
even though you probably deserve it.
that girl who saw past your pretty face and
treasured parts of you that no one else appreciated.
that girl who realizes she may never have your heart,
but will carry the image of you in hers forever.
and by the time you realize
that's the girl you're looking for,
she'll be with the guy who already knew.
welcome to your hopes and dreams airways
thanks for crashing & burning with us today.
(:
| | Music |
Listen to:
The Last Something That Meant Anything by MayDayParade
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| | Heroes | ?whateverlife was here wl15
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christine-machine =]'s Details
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| Status: | Single | | Here for: | Friends | | Orientation: | Straight | | Hometown: | Pleasantville | | Body type: | 5' 3" | | Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian | | Zodiac Sign: | Aries | | Smoke / Drink: | Yes / No | | Children: | Someday | | Education: | In college |
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christine-machine =]'s Schools
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University Of Pittsburgh-Titusville
Titusville,PA
Graduated: N/A
Degree: In Progress
Major: Accounting
Minor: Criminology
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2008 to Present |
Titusville Shs
Titusville,PA
Graduated: 2008
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Major: Business
Clubs: VP of 2008 THS Business Club
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2004 to 2008 |
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christine-machine =] single. lol.
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christine-machine =]'s Latest Blog Entry
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it’s over..
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it hurts me more and more each day..
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6-1-08 12:31am
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rough
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dante 4-20-06 to 4-23-08
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christine-machine =]'s Blurbs |
About me:
I'm a fresh out of high school girl.
Titusville High School 2008 Graduate
I'm going to PITT @ TITUSVILLE in the Fall of 2008.
I'll get my Accounting Degree and Crimonology.
After that i'll be a Forensic Accountant.
I want to work for the LAPD!
I had been given a great oppurtunity to experience something so great.
A baby.
Baby Huth passed away 1-22-08.
He/She was 9 wks unborn.
We'll never forget him/her.
It only goes to show that life is one of the hardest yet greatest gifts of life.
Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
My friends dont support my descisions.
And i don't care.
I've had a rough life.
And, I've been through alot.
Yes, I'm the girl that did the bomb threat at TMS.
we all make mistakes.
So deal with it.
If i could i'd change my past.
Majorly.
But, with my past, I can help so many people.
If only they'd let me.
And i love pickles.
Enough said.
PS:: I miss him =[
I love my friends!!
I regret every word I said to make him feel special..
you're the only thing my heart ever understood
i miss you
You know what?
Bite me skank & go play in traffic!!
I'm throwing away pictures that I never should have taken in the first place.. I'm just hoping you're not seeing her face.. it was her that took my place.. I hope this makes you happy now.. that the flame we had is burning out.. and I hope you like your pictures facing down, as even broken hearts may have their doubts.
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Who I'd like to meet:
I don't want to meet anyone.. honest.
Take your damn fairy tale endings
and your hopes, dreams, & wishes,
and shove them up your ass.
This is the real world,
&& that shit just doesn't cut it anymore.
I don't know where I stand with you and I don't know what I mean to you all I know is everytime I think of you all I wanna do is be with you.
I don't like you. I actually hate you. But, that's only because I'm in love with you.
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