I’ve been on night duty with the new baby while my wife is recovering from the c-section. She’s healing very quickly. Some would say she has vampire-like recovery powers. Which leads to me a little vampire flick I watched last night, 30 days of Night. I won’t ruin the movie by giving away the plot but overall it was pretty good.
The big problem I had with it were the vampires themselves. There’s been a disturbing trend developing lately in movies where vampires, werewolves, and zombies have lost their identity and have been blended together. Now, I’m all for the wonderful melting pot that the best parts of our country stand for. All races of people, no matter what religion should be equals and live in piece. But when it comes to the undead, you’d better believe I stand for seperate but equal. Zombies should not be drinking from the vampire water fountains and werewolves?...that’s right mother fuckers, get to the back of the bus.
In "30 Days of Night", the vampires are sloppy, dopey looking slobs that look more like zombies than famed fanged bloodsuckers. They also can be killed too easily. "I am Legand has a similar problem with the zombies being too smart and not being able to go into the sunlight. These are distinct vampire traits. When you throw the "Underwolrd" movies in the mix things really get muddled. Vamps and wolves infecting each other to create hybrids...just a mess.
Here’s how it should work, vampires are the smartest and snappy dressers. They have to come off as half-gay and look like they shop at Express for men. Werewolfs are rugged loners who have no control over their altered state. Finally, zombies are mindless brain seekers who are missing body parts and most likely blood splattered. That much is defined, Hollywood should focus on better stories rather than fucking around with the monsters.
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