Haircut's Blog
Five Things to Try.
5. Anthropophagolagnia: This is a delightful one. If you have this fetish, your fridge is probably packed full of human body parts. You rape, kill, then eat your victims. The rape must be done before the murder, otherwise it doesn't count as anthropophagolagnia. Making lampshades from the skin is optional.
4. Vorarephilia: I'm sure you've all heard of this. It's growing fast in popularity. Vorephiles get sexual gratification from the thought of being eaten, preferably alive. This is more fantasy than reality, however, I'm sure the day will come when you hear of somebody who was eaten by a giant snake because they "accidentally" fell into the anaconda cage at the zoo. After seeing the movie Jurassic Park, I used to say, "Being eaten by a dinosaur is the coolest way to die." Now I had to rethink that. Vore is not to be confused with Autophagy: Sexual pleasure from eating your own flesh.
3. Unbirthing: I don't even want to type a description for this one. Use your imaginations.
2. Oculolinctus: Eyeball licking. I'm sure a few of you reading this have heard about a girl from a small town called Gleason, WI who liked to lick eyeballs. Perhaps you have even had your own eyeball licked by her. She puts the "lol" in oculolinctus. Still, licking eyeballs is pretty screwed up. I can't figure out what people see in it. I guess I shouldn't knock it until I try it.
1. Crush: Do you enjoy squashing spiders? Do you get a sexual thrill from swatting flies? When you see a squirrel crossing the street, do you intentionally swerve your car to hit it? If so, you've got a crush fetish. Sexual pleasure from crushing insects or small animals.
I used to frequent an online confession site called GroupHug. People would anonymously type horrifying things about themselves for the whole internet to see. You could read confessions for hours upon hours and get some damn good laughs about other people's lives. True or not, they were still pretty funny. Now GroupHug is overrun with obnoxious kids complaining about "how much I still love my ex" or "I love him/her so much but I'm too embarrassed to say anything." or "I hate everything. Nobody understands me." Damnit I hate kids. Nobody cares about their raging hormones and daffy emotions. Scientists can create emotions in a labratory, I'm sure they can get rid of them also. It's basically just lowering the seratonin levels in your brain. Seratonin, yeah, isn't that what's in mushrooms? No wonder hippies are all about love and crap. Damnit I hate hippies. Let's just give every one a lobotomy. I'm ranting. So one night I was browsing through some confessions and found one about a guy with a liking for Crush. He had no idea that Crush was documented fetish. As far as he knew, he was the most disturbed individual on the planet. He couldn't figure out why, but for some reason whenever he saw a woman smush an insect with her foot, tingles would run up and down his spine, and if she was barefoot, oh my gosh, he'd practically lose control. He absolutely loved it. One day he caught several cockroaches and brought them to the office building where he worked. He then set them free in hopes of seeing a female coworker squashing one. Well, things didn't exactly go as planned. Instead, the building was closed down for a couple of days and fumigated.
you would be such a pretty lampshade
I work with a one-legged transexual Doraphile...or so I've heard. I guess this is how rumors get started...?
What's the opposite of Crush? I think I might have that...it makes me frighteningly joyous to watch bees that I've saved from windowsills flying off into the great blue yonder. I guess it doesn't turn me on, though, so never mind, I guess.