Alan

About me:

..Darkspace Graphics Hi im Alan, a black belt master and an exponent of "Man Skills" - a set of powerful techniques including "Mind Control" "Speediness" and "Invisible-ness"!....... ye may well like to learn more about the blackbelt master techniques and the exponents of "Man-Skills"? they are these: A set of powerful Man-Skills designed to help me survive in any situation. I may need to tie my shoelaces or perhaps fight off a pack of giant wild tigers, who knows which challenge i'll meet on my way out that door. which one will it be? I dont know, the shoelaces I guess would probably be more likely! eitherway i can teach you the man-skills you need to survive that. my distinguishing factor that distinguishes me from others out there is that i have developed my own SPECIAL Non-traditional martial arts techniques over the years, Invisible-ness......(words trail off into the distance), Mind Control........(words trail off into the distance), and Speediness......(words trail off into the distance) Invisible-ness i hear ye say? Say youve been out late on the piss with your friends - there will be times you may have to regain entry into your house without waking your girlfriend or ur mom. This is because at this time of night she may be dangerous, to survive this i use the art of invisible-ness thus avoiding nasty confrontations and certain bloodshed. to do this the man skills master needs to create the effect of Invisible-ness, i use tricks such as distraction, human - camouflage, cloak-of-darkness, silent movement and phone-BULLSHITING. Mind Control on the other hand is a subtler art. it takes many years of practise and is exhausting on the human mind, it is so powerful that it can also be exhausting for people watching or even listening...... even for a friend who wasn't there but heard about it later down at the pub!!!!!!!! Beware of it as for speediness, well for a man like myself fit, active and goodlooking well sometimes walking just doesnt bite the biscuit, thats when i use a technique i like to call "Running". i might be catching bad guys or maybe just getting some bread from the shop whatever it may be the important thing is I arrive looking good. the art of speediness is a technique which, as it suggests, speeds up things. it resembles a sprint, a bolt or if practised in a confined space a freak-out. for one to master this they must be in peak physical condition and should not use it over extended periods......... say like 10 minutes otherwise it will most likely result in heart-palpitations, eye-strain, or even DEATH!!! or at the very least "dry-mouth" using my martial art techniques i once had to fight fifteen men and one small boy... he was prob about 3 and a half but tough! they came at me with hurleys, actually they were a hurley team, they had slicitors too which are hard. I got through there first man (no. 12) alrite cos he was way out of position but the rest were trickier and well trained, we fought for 35 minuteas before they called for a half time break, we then fought another 35 minutes before i killed every last one of them, the small boy was the worst nemesis i probably ever faced in my life, he had mastered the art of cuteness and was not afraid to use it on me however i had mastered the art of un-caring years previously and was able to summon that art so it aloud me to rip his head off without remorse! people these days think because of films like the matrix, lord of the rings and harry pot-head that fighting hundreds of people is real, they see movies with "wire-fighting" with all sorts of gravity - defying moves. but in the streets, wire fighting rarely occurs. ive never fought anyone with wires, ive never even seen anyone with wires, i dont know where these guys are, maybe Hong Kong or Dublin. in a lot of fight scenes you would see people breaking through careboard boxes, this is something i had to do many times. carboard boxes can be a hazard especially in confined spaces like small bathrooms. it is important to know how to break through them correctly or you could get hurt. Paper cuts... can hurt more then a punce in the kidneys you know? but before using martial arts and especially the man skills, i would recommend you try peace, even if it means you dont get to kick someones ass. peace can be powerful, ive seen it used on people as a weapon - a hippy in the glen of the downs i used to know............ it wasnt pretty........ the hippy i mean! but he fought with peace and won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!