Lately life has seemed a lot like a giant hokey pokey. I put one foot forward but then I gotta take it out again then I put it back in and things get shaken up. So here we go again.
In traditional Samantha-fashion, I like to pull things apart and examine them in a list for myself and for my friends. This way I can look at things one step at a time and ask for the support of my loved ones.
1) Work: Yes, I got promoted. SWEEEET. And yes I quit that pile of pooooop other job. (Because if one more 12-year-old complained to me about the state of her bosoms I was gonna lose it. "If you don't have any by the time your 16, you're probably good at sports which is more than you can say about me...Thank God for the rack!") It's gonna be a challenge since I'm notorious for being a total flake, but my good friends have faith in me and I have faith in God. So whether this job was meant to be a boon or a learning experience, we'll soon find out. But I appreciate those who told me I was gonna make it...that and Madonna songs that also told me I was gonna make it.
2) School: As we all know, school is expensive. Slipping by financially with community college is almost over as I'm trying to get into a school in Seattle, come to find I won't get by all the red tape without a green belt. I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for school, and please don't suggest murder or student loans. They both end with me in jail. (Those loan sharks will find a way to beat the system once they find out I DON'T have the 100,000 I barrowed from them.) If I can't get into a school, I'm still running away to Seattle, you can bet on that. This is a dream I won't let go, so don't call it silly.
3) Life: Some things I've been concentrating on to get through these days of living and breathing: -Smiling even if people don't smile back. -Being genuine if it exposes yourself. -Spending time alone with myself and God before I try to take on a full day.
So far, it's been a breath of fresh air and life has been wonderfully non-frustrating.
Anyways, after much contemplation, I've realized that while I didn't receive diamond stitched parachute pants or that life size replica of Sailor Jupiter (there's always next year!) I did have a pretty boss Christmas for someone who's car was destroyed and job was lost and also owes a shit load of money to someone this holiday season. I'll tell ya why, and then ya'll can bask in the sloppy goodness of a splenda-sweet sentiment dedicated to all my buddies...
Amanda PM - You cannot go to Berkley! It's been so awesome being your friend since you came to NorCal. Who will live in the hobo hut behind the mall with Earl and me!? Aside from Preston who will only stop by for a Gatorade break between long shirtless running trips!? Anyways, my Christmas wish for you is that money randomly starts falling from the sky one day, your car magically rejuvenates itself and gets rid of that HORRENDOUS license plate holder, and straight A's come a little bit easier this year.
Mi Amandita - Puuuuuues, eres mi amiga mejora, pero, lo sabes. Ojala que tu vida en Santa Cruz tiene muchas adventuras y experiencias. Hay muchas cosas buenas en vida que estan esperando para ti. Yo sé que vas a tener mucho exito con todo este año. Quiero visitar contigo mucho este semestre, no puedo esperar para tu proximo descanso. Te amo con todo mi corazon y cuerpo y cerebro.
Christine - P. Riv! First of all, even though you had no choice BUT to stick around, a little piece of me still likes to think that God kept you around so we could be friends when everyone else left us. I'm so thankful for you! I love that we can do everything together without getting bored, even if that includes being bored together. I love that we can eat, shop, and nap together. I love that you can tell me everything about anything. I love that you can totally fall apart on me one day and be my big sister the next day. My Christmas wish to you is complete and total joy this year. I hope all your teachers are amazing and you succeed above and beyond your weird Asian expectations.
Preston AKA Lovely Larry - Let me start off by sayin', you got it goin' on. (Not in a gay way!) You're a COMPLETE inspiration to me...and pretty much anyone who knows you. I rejoice in the fact that you can point out the times I've been blessed even when I'm in a dark place and cannot. My Christmas wish to you has already started coming true, and that's that your benevolence passes on to others through osmosis. (I was pretty sure that's what happened when that guy randomly gave you a dresser and a gym membership.) Also, I hope you lose 20 lbs...just kidding. Actually, I really hope you'll stop popping out in front of my car when you're running. But! Beggars can't be choosers. Also, should anyone every give you crap you just tell 'em: Listen, yo ass is about to be missin', you know who gonna find you? Some old man fishin'!
Sheridan - Even though you scampered back home to the turd without my say-so...which, yes, is required, I still love you! I kept thinking of what I could wish for you that you didn't already have: true love, good friends, wonderful family, GETTING INTO NURSING SCHOOL (YEHAW!), a Betsy watch...but then I remembered the one thing you don't have yet (aside from Britney Spears tickets), is a ME! So, my Christmas wish is that you'll be blessed with a Spring semester that goes by fast while achieving everything you set out to do. That way you'll hardly miss me, and before you know it, we'll being having car wash raves, Saturday night slumber parties, short cup sundays with matchzies, izzie splitzies, and GJ trips to the mall 24/7!!! Love you, mama. (I'M GONNA BUY YOU SO MUCH SHIT!!!)
Brooke - Well, it's been a rocky holiday for the both of us, the difference between you and me is that I had a moment long mental break down, and you seem to be striving the same as ever (you bitch!). Anyways, who knows me better than your crazy ass? No one!!! Which is why we need to stay on good terms so you can keep all the dirt between us. Kidding!!! I was going over my high school year book with my roommate and I realized the Christmas wish I have for you is the same thing I willed to you my senior year: my common sense. (Never meant as insult!) But, after hard contemplation, I see you've already achieved it: You put your loved ones before your financial needs because a 5 dollar good time with friends is more important than worrying about your cell phone bill, putting your financial needs before shoes because your cell phone bill is more important than those Manolo's you've been saving up for (only slightly more important :P), and learning when to say no to anyone who tries to take advantage of your sincerity.
AJ AKA De biggest Boog - While I don't get to see you as often because I fold de panties, you're still my big brother elect while we're waiting for the day I must return to my own turd in San Diego. Thanks for always looking out for me, and velcroing my stuff when it broke, and finding my keys because I'm blind and probably retarded, and looking at my car anytime it made a slightly suspicious noise. My Christmas wish is that everyone else realizes what a gift it is to be your friend and starts appreciating you like they should! Because you're not just some fine piece-o ass (really...Hayden Christensen is MUCH more attractive) you're also genuine and funny and smart and giving and yada yada yada, and ya make one hell of a latte.
Kaelynn AKA Mama Boog - No you and de biggest Boog did no breed to create me, the baby Boog, I call you the mama Boog because you're always looking out for everyone but you can distinguish between a friend in need who needs a hug, and a friend in need who needs a slap in the face. And I appreciate every time you've hugged or slapped me in the face...or let me sloth you. I'm so glad we got to be better friends this year! My Christmas wish is one that I don't need to worry about coming true because I'm more than positive it'll come true when the time is right, and that's that you find that person with a Kae-shaped hole in their heart who's been waiting for you to come along so they could the shit out of you!!! And should the bad seeds get in, call me, and I'll fucking murder them...no...seriously...I swear I'll do it.
Anyways, I got everything I wanted for Christmas, now I'm just waiting for them...
If you're not into the idea of God, don't read this.
(Has Kendall left the room?)
Okay!!!
While I am proud of the drive I acquired in these last few months to take on two jobs, move out of my shit apartment, make money, pass classes, the prominent flaw was my pride. I owed it all to God and didn't take one second for gratitude, and in that, He recognized that if I wasn't gracious, I wasn't deserving.
Most may consider my recent misfortune as just that, a lot of bad shit happening at once, but how's God supposed to make something beautiful if there's no room. Sometimes, we don't make rooms for Him, and He has to make it Himself. So Extreme Makeover Home Edition, you've wrecked my old house, please, move that bus.
I know exactly where I fucked up this past month, and I don't blame anyone...except maybe Howard...but only a little. No, I'm just kidding, being a billionaire must be hard and I should be sympathetic. Anyways, I'm not holding any grudges, I have more important things to do. And I'm definitely not gonna stress myself over worry, that's what got me into this mess. Worried about my jobs. Worried about my money. Worried about school. Worried about what people think of me.
It's a shit load to handle, I'm aware, but God's hands are a lot bigger than mine. (Also, isn't it funny how 6.2 million equals to a T how much money I've spent on stupid materialistic bullshit items and people to win over?)
The only thing I ask of everyone is hugs and occasionally...a burrito. Okay...frequently a burrito.
Soooooo, who got a second jarb? Samantha Victoria got a second jarb! Yes, life was pretty icky there for a while, but now that I've clean the dog shit off my twice discounted designer shoes, I'm ready to continue my hike toward all things glorious for which I have longed and waited. The job is only the beginning though. I've picked up some really good friends (New Amanda, and Evin, and Jen), become better friends with the ones who have always been there for me (Christine and mis Boogs - AJ and Kae), and gotten rid of some beezies like snot in a sneezy (Dem haterz know who they be). (Jill sucks, my sneeze is hella manly.) I've been concentrating on school and work but keeping my family closer. I'm really proud of what I'm becoming as cheesy as that sounds. I got goals too you know! I'm supporting my loved once to reach theirs and would appreciate it if the "Dem Haterz" section would either do the same or piss off and fall in a puddle.
Things that are going pretty smoothly, like butter...or my sheets once I clean out the latte:
1) Grades are gettin back up 2) Been showing up to class and labs 3) Got my dream job and work with really cool people 4) I'm making the most out of my other smell job 5) I know someone who makes me feel sea sick! 6) Britney Spears' CD's on the way! 7) I've got my money situation on lock down
Some things I'm working toward: 1) Being more adventurous 2) Finding the fountain of youth so Snickelfritz shan't ever die, along with Gay Jon the Car and Josh the plant. (Josh the plant has yet to bloom again, and no, he was not named after Josh Petreson.) 3) PASSING TRIG! Deadline to drop quickly approaches and I gotta make some decisions up in this bitch. 4) Learning to tango and going to Argentina before my brother or Sedale get a chance to 5) Not letting angry coffee man bother me 6) Learning to make words instead of regurgitation when I speak to the opposite sex 7) Vacuuming 8) Cleaning out GJ the C, I got him all kindsa goodziez to clean out all his spots
My real friends are sticking around to help me with that list and Dem haterz are looking up the word 'dem' in the dictionary. However, that word can only be understood by listeing to the song by Rihanna. Anygay! I'm gonna go study trig and hopefully a math angel (any math angel will do, I'm more lost than when Earl goes to my aunt's house!) will visit and teach me what the fuck dampened whateverz are and stuff. :) WHY ARE THERE SO MANY LETTERS IN THAT EQUATION!?!?!?!?!?
hopeful
fascinated