Alcohol, marijuana, isolation, madness, dancing at Embo, D Dolla, Patty Reece, cannibalism, oral sex, drunken (bar) fights, the Winnipeg handshake, Ledger's ghost, falling asleep at 3 am in the bathroom of Big Ed's while standing, Ian's keyboard, random noise, the Guyanese Rum Shop (and crew), Anya Fritch, getting banned from the Doors Pub Wednesday Night Open Mic, cabin fever, papa dukes, Artisanescape's release of gas, the soul of funk, XXX hardcore porn, "Jungle Fever", gettin' that nutt, "Boogie Nights", sexual arousal from murder, the Handsome Sultan, homemade french fries from the oven with that chicken spice on 'em, BDSM Bakesale, a fixation with knives, weed and Neo-Citron, violent sex, Becca Boop, the aftermath of a mental breakdown, steel wool, Rob's voicemail recording, weariness from putting up with modern society, dramatic bitches who feel they're entitled to a cocksuck from the world, Tool, psychedelia, remixing a Righteous Groove, Artisanescape, remembering to "Never Settle for Less", another day in the life of Tucox M'Nock, faith in karma, "Infinity", Mapes Avenue, late night conversations over MSN with Reb Reb, "House of 1,000 Corpses", Rob Zombie, "the Zombie Jesus Bloodbath", tinkering with Fruity Loops, "Blazing Saddles", Luc Peters, "See You in Hell, Luc", misanthropy, hostility, Acid Mothers Temple, messing with different keyboard settings, the Brooklyn Vampire, a day in the life of Tucox M'Nock, abduction, black bags, rape, the Crystal Method, drama, escapism, stress, a poor coping mechanism, random jam sessions, Gore Park, Gore whores, guttersluts, Jem Horner aka the Burlington Bay Ghost, Lee Russel, electronic music, the Wushu!, Steel City sketchbaggery, the Corktown Aids Clinic, Mystique, the (riff riff) Riff Truck, the power of the riff (riff riff), excessive summer partying/binging, rabbits, Dave Chappelle, shouting at people from cars, middle-aged fuckbags who prowl on young girls, G.G. Allin, my outstanding dick, Baby Tokes, world domination, H-Bags, England, Vincent Price, "Shine On You Crazy Diamond", the Melvins, "Full Metal Jacket", Italian horror movie soundtracks from the '70s, the Dust Brothers, "Fight Club", Marc Gatschner, "Bruise", righteousness, groovin', Ebbz, stoned chillin', "Slaves and Bulldozers", Rich Badger, failed bands, Agata, being a smartass, birthday presents, Jesse Radio, no-talent sell-outs, mainstream garbage, mediocrity, soundtracks for Michael Mann movies from the '80s, self-deprecation/loathing, drama, doomed relationships, casual flings, the four points of the Earth, metal pipes purchased from bodegas, Josh Homme, the Desert Sessions, failed high school bands, My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult, Suicide, Joy Division, Meli Watson, the Alexander Park wading pool, Kermit, boredom, online message boards, Hunter S. Thompson, "Super Mario Bros.", Tropicana Twister, "Dubdas", Muffled Suitcase, Slow Hand Motëm, Dolph Lundgren, "the Rocky Horror Picture Show", high school grad dances, the after parties, unrequited love, rejection, amphetamines/stimulants, Leah Podobnik, songwriting aspirations, misheard sentences, Heather Smith, "Girl, Interrupted", FOSS, with the help of additional factors...
Sounds Like
a machine sent from the future to destroy all music as we know it
13 Bags of Dick is the result of a top-secret musical super solider project gone horribly awry and carelessly set loose in a world full of unsuspecting victims, wreaking havoc and wracking up a mountain of offenses at an alarming rate. It is not meant for people... only some people are meant for it.
13 Bags of Dick vol. 7(2009)... marks the halfway point in this saga of vulgar disregard for traditional ways of making good music. Dr.Ob and Dr. ZeroGrav return to assist in the mayhem, with cuts off the floor from a live appearance at the Corktown Pub by 13 Bags of Llama Dick (featuring Mediocre and Joe Towers of Metalllama). Then some other bullshit gets lumped into this mutant audio beast that is starting to move out of the Steel Town Basement and out into the world... safety is such a delusion that it's no longer a concern at this point.
Raw and Uncircumcised(2009)... is a collection of favored dickbag demos jammed out in the Steel Town basement between February and April 2009 by Tucox M'Nock on vocals and bass, Bazooka Joe (aka Mediocre) on guitar, and Dr.Ob on drums. Dr. ZeroGrav's insane keyboard makes a few appearances.
Breakin Bottles N Breakin Rubbers (Pimp Nutt)(2009)... A MYSPACE/YOUTUBE EXCLUSIVE DROP! A special project, a group effort, an awnry spectacle of complete disregard for anything alive or sacred! And its not really anything you havent seen already! The hottest Youtube/Myspace assault since Souljaboy cranked that! The summer anthem for 2009! This shit is the ballinest! Motherfuckers are breakin motherfuckin bottles and breakin motherfuckin rubbers! Its a lean one, son!
13 Bags of Dick vol. 6(2009)... is a spacey whirlwind of love and hate, life and death, getting wasted and Ledgering. You know how it is... same old shit, different pile. This time around we've got the return of Dr.Ob and Dr. ZeroGrav, as well as some hijacked beats from Handsome Sultan, a little gas produced by Artisanescape, and an echo from the old BDSM Bakesale days with Baby Tokes and Patty Wack (of Rackula, ex-Pantychrist) at the Jam House with Tony Furtado. Reckless Kelly (aka Skymovies) and the Lil Grunge Boy (aka Mediocre) make spectacular dick bag first appearances. The numbers are growing, the power of the dick compels.
13 Bags of Dick vol. 5(2008)... takes the listener to new levels as it explores recurring themes of love, lust, violence and, above all else, revenge. With the continuous help of Dr.Ob and Dr. ZeroGrav, as well as beats collaborations with Handsome Sultan and an appearance from Korea's new golden god, Artisanescape, this dark compilation takes you further up the twisted river of life, diving deeper into the madness which many fear. Reaching the end is the least of your worries... it's only gonna get worse from there. But will you be able to hold back from Ledgering yourself?
13 Bags of Dick vol. 4(2008)... is more nonsense bouncing around from all ends of the spectrum in a dizzying groove of ominously psychedelic punk’ish noise with the odd rhymes laid down to shake things up. This time around, Dr.Ob returns on drums most of the time, with the Brooklyn Vampire for a few tracks and appearances from Alyssa in the Apple Tree (of Rackula), Rich "the Grizzly Bear" Badger, and Loki V. Stellarstar. This harsh record of blowing life lasts a little over twenty minutes, so it's over before the pain kicks in.
13 Bags of Sloppy Seconds(2008)... believe it or not, is a collection of remixes, recycled jams and rare jems otherwise doomed to be lost beyond the range of our comprehension and awareness. Jumbled up in this mess of dick are collaborations with the Brooklyn Vampire and Dundas-born, Korean sensation Artisanescape, a couple jams with Dr. ZeroGrav and Dr.Ob, some alternate mixes of old beats, rare tracks like the original music for short film, "the Zombie Jesus Bloodbath" by Devilectronika Productions, and even the spirits of the GBZ (of New Slang) and the Glanvillain are sampled in the mix. Just when you were finally starting to believe you'd left the demons in your past, they've up and got you cornered again... but can you make it all the way to the end this time?
13 Bags of Dick vol. 3(2008)... is the result of stayin' busy while stayin' fucked up. Compiled of some random solo efforts, hazy jams with Dr.Ob and Dr. ZeroGrav, and vocal assaults by the Brooklyn Vampire and long-time crony Dave 1, this hodgepodge has a bit more consistency with the addition of what could be technically viewed as a band. However, much like life itself, it is filled with random twists and turns... some amusing and enjoyable, some awkward and maddening. Pay for the ticket, take the ride... you've been warned.
13 Bags of Dick vol. 2(2008)... is another harmful emission from the Steel Town basement. Compiled of random one-off's from 2005 to 2008, it includes collaborations with Dave "Kong" Kolenski, Rich "the Grizzly Bear" Badger, Baby Tokes and Patty Wack (of Rackula, ex-Pantychrist), Jeff "the Glanvillain" Glanville, the GBZ (of New Slang), a track recorded by Tony Furtado at the Jamhouse, soundtrack work for the short film "Bruise" by Marc Gatschner, and random sketchbaggery exclusive only to this fair city. A follow-up to the most maliciously recorded album to be inflicted on human ears and sensibilities, this one has a bit more direction and consistency. It is darker and angrier, but there still isn't much to take seriously. Like it's predecessor, there was nothing to accomplish with this other than to simply record an album for the hell of it and piss off as many people in the process.
13 Bags of Dick vol. 1(2007)... consists of miscellaneous recordings dating back as far as 2002, featuring collaborations with Brent "B-Rock" Johnston, Jeff "Glannystyillz" Glanville, "Bulging" Jeff Stewart, and Heather Smith. Mostly produced in a dimly-lit Steel Town basement (with a vocal track more notably cut in the break area of a Canadian Tire stock warehouse), this compilation was originally intended to be a sampler of various works. Gradually, it evolved into a full-on assault of nonsense and vulgar disregard for musical standards and practices. It won't be well-received by most, thus fulfilling its purpose, and will be highly misunderstood by those who do not share its sense of humor or possess the understanding of what is to be accomplished by this album... which is absolutely nothing. It is assured that this will be nothing short of a confusing, if not unpleasant, experience for anyone who partakes.
