MySpacea place for friends

Not good at managing time, BUT...
--about as dedicated a guy as you will ever meet... :-)

1. I'm good-hearted, passionate & intense: boyish & playful & unique... while actually being remarkably dedicated & deep.  And I always play safe.  And, to my delight, those who get to know me see and say this.
   1. Two long-term friends separately told me:
      1. they picked me "because of your integrity" (the words they both used) - Yes! -- integrity is #1 for me !
   2. And several long-term romance friends have told me:
      1. I was "the most dedicated guy" they ever knew (yes, I love it when people realize my dedication), and
      2. often the best in passion (which my romance friends loved, and loved a lot --despite my telling them that isn't the most important thing of me!), and said that
      3. no one was ever more striving for honesty (which they often didn't like that much, as the woman who told me "I wanted to insure the sex was A+ before telling you I was married");  but then they also frequently told me (including her) that
      4. ..no one in this world, including my parents, knows me as much as you do' (hearing that makes me very happy; and of course I do it -- because you cannot fully love unless you fully know,, ...so I Choose Reality!); -
   3. but my favorite of all, that both sexes tell me:
      ..he may be a pain in the ass, but he's probably right.' :-)
       
2. Intelligent & educated --an MIT computer graduate with 7+ years in technical and management. I'm heavily into Research & Development (R&D) of both the technical & social.
3. Hard working, good shape, & loyal --a US Military Reserves Officer --a "weekend warrior", or "Twice the Citizen", turning into a US soldier two days every month plus two weeks every year; I also fought in combat in the present war.
4. Strong, straightforward, & sincere. But not great at picking up signals: just tell me what you want, and I'll do the same.
5. Entrepreneur, as is my whole family -- I'm always working on a new venture, with the primary goal to help people.  --An IT (Information Technology) and Social ;-) Consultant & Architect
    
6. As is sometimes called "The Architect" personality, I am a total INTP.  Indeed, as a "maximal" architect & innovator,
   1. I love to to innovate: to invent & design & create & cleverly improve --especially to develop comprehensive profound solutions for big, scary, "impossible" problems;
   2. indeed, sometimes I'm addicted to innovating: any thing/institution/person (it could be you!) that I see could use some insight or clever help I know, often I feel I've just got to improve
   to do that!
7. But it's relatively easy & respected for MIT folk & similar to question & redesign the technical.  But that's just 1/2 of our world! 
   I am also a social innovator and social justice fighter --sometimes inept but often brave.
   1. A soldier willing not only to fight the enemy (say if alongside all his peers),
      but also willing to fight anyone else who thwarts the mission, including his own peers AND leaders if necessary;
      And even if he has to do it alone.  And still always fighting fair.
      [ Do the right thing ALWAYS.   If necessary,
      1. --Even if none of your peers (or nobody) is doing so
      2. --And Even if there IS no God or anybody (to see or reward you),
      3. --And Even if it will pit you against all your own.
      --That's what I call courage! - Do the right thing ALWAYS ]
   2. Will question and take on bullies, hypocrites, ego-holics, even outdated social institutions & traditions --things others will let pass, or just believe because they were raised with them.
   3. Will speak up... Will take little for granted. If important, will ask why.
   4. Will question not just the technical, but also established social institutions, culture, & religion, and, if need be, architect new systems.
   5. My mother says, "He may be odd, but odds are he's right."
8. As mentioned, I Choose Reality - facing & sharing reality is hugely important to me, for only with full truth can you have full love,,
   1. Strong believer in documenting everything --to remember, face, & enjoy reality.
   2. Believe: Everything happens for a reason: some rule.,,   And if you face the rules (why is it, including why you want), your path can be seen.,,
      1. --since "Why?", by definition, directly leads to the answer.,,  So continually ask "Why?", above all other questions.
   3. Enormously want all the rules of life (scientific & social) being written, made appropriate, and followed.
      1. For the scientific, all we need to focus on is insuring the rules are accurately written: that we have an accurate model of the world;
      2. However, for the social (where we have choices), we ALSO need to insure the rules are made appropriate & followed.  This is even harder (and we could use some more scientist to help here!).  Classically it's been the responsibility of government (as the 3 branches of the US), but it needs to be everyone's responsibility.
          
9. Not a slave to rent or a mortgage! After coming back from the war, I bought & built my own house (a go-anywhere, high-tech motorhome), all paid for; so now all I have to pay for is utilities --which gives me time to do writing, research, travel, hang with friends, and all the things that I love.

I am GOOD different -- but can you tell?
 
10. Ambitious; and I know what I want and go after it!
11. Passionate romantic, dancing, affectionate, chivalrous (I've gotten plenty of high marks for bedroom ability, but I don't like to be known for this).  Giving (“All that is not given is lost.”).  Dedicated: "willing to work to make it work."
12. Responsible in many ways: plenty of experience, intensity & passion, BUT never moody; indeed I am full of passion & intensity yet always have Spock-like emotional control: even when I'm very angry or very excited, I never loose my temper & clear reasoning;  so, not surprisingly,
    1. Never a speeding ticket, never any sexual disease, never used illegal drugs, and never even seriously drunk. 
    2. Never married, and also never divorced.  Have had a few opportunities to get married (and plenty to create a child ;-), but always responsible: wonderful, but only when the relationship is right.
    3. Never ignored my best judgment - Never did nor said anything, within my ability & control, that I regret.  Including,
    4. Never failed (with someone showing respect) to talk over what they thought my mistakes were; and practically never failed to see my wrongs, apologize, & make amends as capable.
        
13. How my mind "moves"
    1. My mind is like a big medicine ball, slowly & intensely rolling from one subject to the next.
       1.  heavy singular focus: at any one instant I will usually be thinking of just one topic, and so intensely that
          1. sometimes I solve problems others can't, but
          2. I also often loose track of time and am late, and forget to take breaks, socialize, eat, and occasionally even forget to sleep and miss things said to me (my mind lost in thought);
       2. Not surprising,
          1. Deep, through, comprehensive detailed analysis is easy for me, as well as organizing & structuring. 
          2. But multitasking and balancing & prioritizing many small things is very hard for me, plus being mentally nimble & quick witted. 
    2. However, I have wide interests (often any area with far-reaching problems that are scary or "impossible"), so, despite my slow-moving mind ball, any given month I'm typically intensely involved in many topics (more than average), I guess making me somewhat of a Renaissance Man.
    3. However, after solving problems, I unfortunately almost immediately loose interest, typically before the discovery is shared.  My unpublished writing is nearly countless --but I'm working on a big fix.   And a lot of common routine (breaks, trips, accounts payable & receivable) is hard for me (boring I guess), though my body & life is helped by it.
14. Usually living "ahead of my time" (and for others of that future):
    1. I can vividly see the long-term problems we humans & the world are heading for, and see solutions to get us out of it, indeed often years ahead most people (so people often don't see why I'm heading the directions I do);
    2. yet as far as knowing & doing the best thing for me to do today & this instant, that can be hard.  Also (consequently?),
15. Not good at managing time - I regularly underestimate time, or get involved & loose track of time, and then disappoint, spend too much time, don't come up for air, and be late.  My timing can be bad (honesty too soon, comebacks too late).
16. Complicated things for most (as calculus) are often easy for me, and easy things for most (as packing to leave) often take me much longer.  And while world problems are within reach, balancing the ordinary personal daily stuff can trip me out. 
17. These deficiencies are a key reason I put myself in the military (which often doesn't tolerate them)
    ---because "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!"
     
18. So... what my sign?   Though I'm only a mild believer in western astrology, except for most of the negatives, I am a strong Scorpio --as you might have already guessed.  Indeed,
    1. the positives of Scorpio fit me so well I'd almost think it was specifically about me:  "Intense, passionate, sexual, powerful, brave, compelling, magnetic, sensual, intriguing, profound, loyal, supportive, protective, generous, humble, quiet [in terms of sound ;-)], and encompassing").
    2. And most of the negatives I either never had (as quick-tempered), or skillfully direct (as anger), or removed (as jealousy) --well, except tenacious (that's a negative? ;-); and unreliable (when it comes to time);  I'm also a bit compulsive & obsessive, but I think you could see that by now ;-)
    3. And again, I always play safe.  And I take off & keep off my Scorpio stinger... well, except for those who refuse to be nice!
        
19. Genetic traits (so likely to be inherited if we have any kids ;-):
    1. tall (6'), broad-shoulders, & slim (170lb runner-build),
    2. never workout but consistently pass US Military PT tests, eat anything, always thin, never gain weight;
       but also no fat so I don't float & easily freeze,
    3. barely age (10 years won't even show, so my kids may not age, either!), perfect hearing & vision,
    4. hate high-humidity (I sweat quarts), takes me weeks to throw a cold,
    5. reasonable singer, good sense of rhythm & dance (improv) but very hard to memorize steps & physical movements;
    6. bad at spelling, names & numbers, & raw memorization (so write everything down), great at patterns & logic;
       "Far-sighted": can see the far mountains (long-term) but (short-term) trip over my shoe-laces getting there.
    7. always thinking -- a mental athlete; also workaholic (like my whole family).
        
20. And, unfortunate for me (but not for my romances!), genetically it seems I am only romantic for certain women who aren't easy to get paired with:
    1. Reasonably pretty, or hot dresser, at least in my eyes --And with me, no, she won't "get prettier after a few beers" --unlike many (most?) men, I will go without rather than be (or pretend to be) with someone who isn't my physical type.  But, when she is my type, lucky for her, my attraction is very strong.
    2. Always with East Asian eyes else very-unique eyes or brows (as a few Black & Hispanic) else a very rare white woman with pretty-but-quirky face (as Natalie Dormer in Casanova); BUT that's a real killer, as:
       1. In romance, most people take only their own race seriously (people may date other races, but over 90% of marriages are same-race); rougher still,...
       2. Every subculture of Asia has its own language & writing (so I've learned to introduce myself in all of them!)
       So I am/have-become a bit of an "EGG" (white on the outside, but often yellow on the inside!) --if it's Asian, I probably know it or are already into it!
    3. But still, making it even worse, as many man, I really like a woman like my mother: a very independent, open-minded, outspoken, and ideally busty woman --and East Asians aren't known for these things!, and those things are hard to fix (well, maybe all but the last one ;-)
    4. But, toughest of all, I really like honesty (as mentioned) but tragically "there's certain things you ..never' tell a woman."
    So,  
    1. In romance, I have to work very hard --searching many oysters to find a pearl--
    2. And when I'm romantic, it's very romantic (which women who get to know me really like),
    3. ...because, quite upsettingly, only certain & very difficult to get women can get me romantic!!!

 About me © 20071117043304 by self (143144602)  ]

1. [  Looking for GOOD FRIENDLY PEOPLE! 

   Meaning, PEOPLE any age, race, religion, nationality, background, etc, WHO ALSO:

   • (1st) always play safe:  safety first, physically & emotionally, for everyone;
   • (2nd) are good-hearted with a good-attitude;
   • (3rd) communicate (including speaking up! on anything important);
   • (4th) keep promises and are dependable,
   • (5th) are fair, respectful, appreciative;
     (6th) [ "Choose Reality!"*, which, for me, means:

     1. Be aware & present, know & speak relevant thoughts & feelings & situation.  In fact...
     2. Everywhere possibly important (for what you act, say, know & think -- for who you are), strive to be honest & accurate including accurately judge (usually requiring being open-minded). As a scientist (or simply a person of full integrity), check yourself; think before you believe; if important, don't guess or assume or hold it in --instead strive to ask and make it known. Why? Because of love. --Because, if you just think about it, What is not known & understood is not really loved™ --that real love is limited to real: to reality, to truth™.  The wise say, "The truth will set you free".  How?  Only with whole TRUTH will you actually get, give, & have whole LOVE.™  "Choose Reality!" ]

     In short, IDEALLY to effectively
     Make Integrity or Love #1: Strive to Love ALL and Do the right thing ALWAYS, with NO exception. Seemingly, Love is THE answer.  For with that, all the above (and so much more good) seems but a consequence.
      

     And my particulars,

   • (7th) positive, smile regularly ("Smiles are the world's most plentiful resource :-)"*);
   • (8th) meets in person (not just online/cyber-chat),
     and don't smoke much --I don't like to smell it, I don't like to kiss it, and I don't like to see a beautiful person harming him/herself!
   • (9th) primarily: exploring adult (as often 20s or 30s) and East Asian else not my race (need variety); also particularly like self-immigrants.

   GOOD FRIENDLY PEOPLE! © 20071115181204 by self (143144602) ]

2. [  And Looking for ROMANCE FRIENDS!,,  --"Hey, Stock Up!" ;-)

   Romance friends (women) who:

   DON'T let their enormous romantic programming, both genetic (biology, hormones) and cultural, keep them from good sense.  
   Most men, often unable or unknowing to even do this themselves, would probably consider this desire for a woman incredibly wishful thinking. 
   Indeed, I've only heard of a few women in all history which which may have mastered this, as Veronica Franco, a prostitute of 500 years ago, as mostly typified in the delightful biographical movie Dangerous Beauty;  she mastered it and so started ruling the country, naturally to many men's fright.  So sharp & witty she was known for improvising poetry live in duals with men, Veronica also wrote "...Women have not yet realized this, for if they should decide to do so, they would be able to fight you [men] until death; and to prove that I speak the truth, amongst so many women, I will be the first to act, setting an example for them to follow.".  Well it's 500 years later and, despite women's "liberation", I still know of almost no women in modern history able to follow on Veronica's lead; indeed, having actually steered a nation with her romance skills, Veronica still runs circles around Samantha of Sex in the City - today's "leading" multi-man woman - and note Samantha's still fictional.  Nonetheless, I will spell it out, in hopes that some smart women & men are listening:  
   • (1st) first & foremost, GOOD FRIENDLY PEOPLE! (all the above!), meaning a romance foremost acting as a friend,,
     In other words, friends-over-romance,,: acting as friends takes precedence over romance. 
     Sound nice & "of course"?  No, I mean fully, without exception -- see my blog entry Friends-OVER-Romance!,, for the amusing but true details.  The gist is: Sex & romance is awesome! --don't go without, do it at least once a week-- EXCEPT NEVER let romance & sex forsake safety, real love, and acting as friends.,,
   • (2nd) [Have romance & sex safely, both physically & emotionally, including

     1. would abort a pregnancy if either of us didn't want the pregnancy (kids are too important to be unplanned or forced)  romance & sex safely ]
   • (3rd) "It doesn't just happen -- You get out what you put in."
     1. "And in the end of our story, finally Jack & Jill found each other ...and fell in love!  So  just got married & had kids.  And lived happily ever after! :-)" 
        Story sound okay to you?  For me, I think it would actually be safer to...
        1. teach my kids to believe in Santa Clause ...until they were 40 (don't worry - their then mid-life crisis will correct things);
        2. or maybe (by hiding parents having go to work each day), teach the kids they could earn their living by buying lotto tickets. 
     2. Understand a quality relationship is NOT "finding" "the" "right" person (or "the" "one" "soul-mate") and "falling" in love --all terribly misdirecting words-- but instead
        1. is becoming the right person,
        2. so YOU are able to see & deeply-appreciate the quality people everywhere,
        3. then think and work to make it work (specifically bring out the best in people),
        4. and so grow in love.
        End of story.  Then you can live happily ever after!
   • (4th) Realize & Remember:
     1. good love doesn't mean good sex, and that good sex doesn't mean good love.  One DOESN'T mean we have or will get the other.
     2. [ Sex & basic Romance is NOT love, it is raw chemical, biological, & mechanical: genes, instincts, hormones & drugs. Yeah, it's definitely my favorite drug!, but it's still drug.  For instance, if you "fall" in love, that's hormones & biology, as "falling" isn't "loving" --remember, "falling" is principally from not taking care, as not watching.  Sex is instant; real love & deep friendship isn't.,, Sex & basic romance ]
     3. [ Real Love is NOT fundamentally sexual; it's intellectual:

        1. it's "wanting what's best for" (and NOT "wanting what's best for, as long as it's me!" -- that's selfish jealousy)
        2. If I truly love someone, I want what's best for them, and NOT "as long as it's me" - that's jealousy!   I'm talking Real love ]
     Don't confuse them - clearly see & appreciate the amount of each.   The two are often combined, which can be wonderful!, BUT they still are different ingredients of life, where one can motivate us to try to get the other, but it doesn't mean we have nor will get the other;  but getting it starts with first seeing exactly what we do have of each, and appreciating that.    
   • (5th) Realize "The War of the Sexes" is BRED-in for a billion years --so see it and fight it, and fight it hard.  If any of these romance guidance's are hard, this the key reason.  But most obvious to do because of this:
     1. Men, learn from women to talk about feelings, build emotional bonds, and say "I love you" a lot!
     2. Women, learn from men (and Veronica Franco) to:
        1. clearly see & appreciate raw sex and healthy romantic variety & balance, and
        2. not insist one gets all their romantic needs from one person, and
        3. NEVER give away your romantic exclusiveness & heart ...at least not until it's earned (as after you've lived together for several months) AND proven to be wise & appropriate. 
     3. Both Sexes:
        1. Work to replace jealousy with love - If I truly love someone, I want what's best for them, and NOT "as long as it's me".
           1. Yeah, that is not easy, but tough! -- grow up! --a lot of our genetic & cultural programming is bad.
           2. And, yes, even if you're one of the first to do it --hey, it's possible! - Just like learning to drive, you didn't think you could do at first, but you can. 
           3. And I've got a ton of tricks for it.  Indeed, in romance, there's even a word for a very advanced form.  But mostly it's
              just facing that being jealous ISN'T being loving, it's being selfish (see real love above).
        2. See friendship as your source of love --create a family-network of friends,,,
           and, as much as you're able, make sex & romance just another activity, like football or shopping.

   ---

   Indeed, for not just me, but I believe the above criteria should apply to every romantic guy & gal. ;-)
    

   And the rest below are particular to me :-)   Indeed, every guy has physical & personality particulars that he likes (as a "hair guy" (as likes blondes), a "leg-guy", even a "butt-guy"); but these particulars he usually doesn't reveal (at least not to women)   --Because women often don't properly appreciate talk of the physical (or only when they want to talk about it).  And because he doesn't need to (unless women are going to find women for him --fat chance!):  he doesn't need to because by the time he's said hello to you (a woman), he's already sized you up (measured & rated you) and you've already passed his test.  But then you have potentially 0 info on what he really likes in you (bad).  Indeed, as I said,  not to know is not to love,, (above).  So I think women should know, too...

   (7th) have distinctive eyes (notably certain East Asian, but sometimes others)

   • (8th) notably independent-thinking (maybe not as much as me (!), but enough to appreciate me!)
     and often ambitious, smart, & educated (accurately proving me wrong is a huge plus!); also self-immigrants are very a likely match for me
   • (9th) Are a bit confident/proud/showy (I like my women a little on the trashy side!) and love affection & to be romanced ;-)
   • (10th) And usually at least one of the following (all big turn-ons for me!)
     1. sensitive/perky/big nipples/breasts  --Who ever said that grown men have been weaned? I like pushing pleasure buttons!
     2. nice complexion or a "pretty" face, including sometimes quirky or nerdy
        --I can't describe more! - each man has his unique taste. Some women I whom thought had a beautiful face told me, No, they were "just ordinary" in their home country, and showed me instead what was considered "the model women" of their country. So I took a long look at several of those "model" women -- No way! -- And told her "Your may think you're ordinary, but in my eyes you are extraordinary!"
     3. a hot dresser  -- I like high-heels or boots, strong/intense colors (black/red/white --not pastels!), tight vest, mini-skit, belly-button & curves proudly displayed, tight-pants ...and overall showing off all that you've got!

   ROMANCE FRIENDS!,,  © 20071115195932 by self (143144602) ]

3. TOGETHER AS BUDDIES WE'RE A TEAM!
   --Bringing out the Best in each other ...and in all! :-)

Who I'd like to meet © 20071115202347 by self (143144602) ]