☮♫ missmikeyshae ™

My name is Steffani, but you can call me anything you please- I am sure that I've been called worse. I'm a good girl with a lot of bad habits. I am who I am- you're opinion is desired nor is it required; put your big girl panties on and deal with it. I turn 19 in the Fall. I was diagnosed with a chronic illness known as Cystic Fibrosis , or as children prefer to call it 65 Roses, when I was just a few months old.

I can be quite the crazy person- borderline insane, and I am pretty complicated. I am Christian, but I hate religion, because it's one of the biggest reasons people fight. World peace, people, work with it. I used to think I was bisexual, but now I feel that I am just bicurious, and probably always will be. I think that, instead of fighting for the right to gay marriage and fighting over abortion rights, we should be worrying about things that be potentially harmful to everyone, like Global Warming, the economy, and maybe we can even save a few animals.

I am often disappointed to find that the world does not revolve around me. It is a sad reality we all must come to terms with. I am somewhat of an open book, and I'm always creating new chapters. I am not ashamed of who I am, of how I grew up, or of the people who have accompanied me in this game of Life. That, however, does not mean I like everyone who has accompanied me. I hate most everybody. I am not easy to get along with-- kudos to those who manage or who have tried. I am not perfect and I won't pretend to be something I'm simply not. When the going get's tough, my first instinct is to bail. I can hold grudges and I dont like to say sorry unless I feel, without a doubt, that I am wrong. I have terrible trust issues and can be quite paranoid. I see the glass as half-empty and it never seems to get any fuller. I have a lot of imperfections, but they have made me who I am today. I don't have much confidence, but I know my worth, for the most part anyway.

I come from a long line of trouble makers and we're notorious for saying "fuck" a lot. I do have a potty mouth and I'm pretty dirty minded, too. I hate making decisions for myself and I despise change of any kind- good or bad. I can be quite random. I love to party, even though it takes me awhile to warm up. I'm terrified of clowns, but love Tim Curry as Pennywise the Clown in Stephen King's IT. I hate butterflies, I sleep with a nightlight, and I'm terrified of what's under my bed and who's in my closet. My fears are childish and irrational, but my more serious ones shouldn't be shared on the internet, where some sick people can get ideas.

I'm a total drama queen and I love (positive) attention, but only when I am comfortable with my surroundings. I love singing, writing, and can dance for days. I have my mother's attitude. I try to be a patient person, but I'm really just not. I am addicted to caffeine! I am totally socially retarded, and kind of weird, but it's okay cuz I'm still pretty badass. My best friend is and always will be my mother. Reality checks are like a daily dose of medication for me; I take one each morning with my Abilify. I am domestically challenged and can't cook for shit. I'm kind of lazy.

I want to pose for Playboy and/or Suicide Girls. I am definitely a camera whore. I would love to do some riske' lingerie modeling, maybe do some exotic dancing. But for practicality reasons, these are not likely to happen in this lifetime. This is not an invitation for creepy assholes to try and get at me. I absolutely love Paramore and I have the biggest crush on Hayley Williams. My Chemical Romance is baddass. I love the city, but have no desire to live there. I believe that once you get to know me, it's hard to dislike me.I'm always looking for new friends.

I am opinionated, as you can see, but I dont force my beliefs onto other people. I rarely give advice, because it usually backfires and comes back to bite me on the ass. I'm a bitch and I'm pretty high maintenance. I'm almost always confused and I never know what I want. I have dreams, desires, and future goals, but currently have no idea how to acheive them. I feel that I have so much life to live, but not enough time. I didn't want to die, but I had no real reason to live, and now I have a reason to live and his name is Garrett Hypes. I really don't know what kind of girl I am, but I am simply the best person I can be and that person, I am proud to say, is me. =]

Think of Garrett and I as Peter Pan and Wendy, only without the unhappy ending. He is the boy who never quite ..grew up.. and I am the girl who, despite her protests, knew she eventually would have to grow up. Garrett loves video games, DnD, and all things nerdy. I am complicated, moody, and always contradicting myself. We couldn't be any less alike if we tried, but somehow we work. And I couldn't be happier. And one day, we'll make our dreams come true Until then, though, we'll continue the way we do ;; seeing each other every other day (if not every day), getting to know one another more and more, living life as if each day was our last, and trying to accomplish what we were too afraid to before, and loving each other like we've never loved before. We are different people, who just so happen to share the same soul. Two halves of the same heart. We are night and day, opposites but always chasing each other regardless. Through trust, understanding, patience, and love we endure any problems and it only strengthens our bond. We are friends, we are partners in crime, we are opposites, and we are in love.

It's like a very rocky rollercoaster ride, like the Big Dipper or whatever that rollercoaster is called in Santra Cruz. I know we both get sick and tired of plunging into cool, startling darkness, the sudden twists that take your breath, the drops that leave your stomach in your throat, and by the time you think the ride is slowing to a stop, it's pulling you into another ride around the track. But it's a rollercoaster that while you're also choking on screams, you're giggling and laughing, and having the time of your life. And I'm content riding that rollercoaster, as long as I'm with him.