Uncle Jesse Katsopolous

About me:

1) I invented Tetris. 2) I had a hot wife on television AND in real life. 3) I wear cowboy boots AND tight black jeans at the SAME TIME. 4) One time, I pushed Joey Gladstone down the stairs...just to watch him fall! 5) I beat up your father, and most of your uncles. 6) I never bought my wife tampons (on television or in real life). 7) I party with David Hasselhoff all day, every day! 8) I keep my room at a toasty 78 degrees. 9) I always got more Halloween candy than my brother. 10) Contrary to popular belief, I and Danny Tanner are NOT friends. 11) I hate Ovaltine. 12) I have never had the flu. 13) I enjoys Backgammon. 14) I am the spokesperson for Nerf. 15) In 1992, I was MVP on the Japanese "Hungry, Hungry Hippos" National Championship Team. I was always the orange hippo. 16) I once bowled a 374. 17) I am a Republican. 18) I despise Weezer. As a matter of fact, Weezer tried to get "The Rippers" to tour with them, and I gave them all atomic wedgies. ALL of them. 19) I shop at Value City. 20) There are streets named after me in 37 of the 50 states (Idaho am currently in the process of approving legislation to be the 38th state). 21) I invented peanut butter. 22) I enjoys trading on eBay. 23) I have never gotten a speeding ticket. In fact, I issues speeding tickets to police officers. 24) There are 23,456,765,789 blades of grass on my front lawn. 25) I never rewind video tapes I rent from Blockbuster. There is nothing they can do about it. 26) I have 20/20 vamion. 27) I favorite dinosaur was Stegosaurus. 28) I have not seen Star Wars. In fact, I TP'ed George Lucas' house 29) I hate Old Navy Commercials. 30) My P.O. Box .. is 347. 31) I love Tootsie Pops. 32) I hate DEVO. 33) I did not invent Crystal Pepsi. 34) I prefers Campbells soup over other brands. 35) I have no problem eating bagged cereal. 36) I never have to pay roaming charges. 37) My abs glow in the dark. 38) I am the former mayor of Chooch, Nevada. 39) I don't pay for the vowels I buys on "Wheel of Fortune," nor does I have to phrase my answers in the form of questions on "Rock & Roll Jeopardy." 40) I owns stock in TANG. 41) I stole my teachers lunch money in 5th grade. 42) I never gets pop-ups or spam while surfing Elvis websites. 43) I took home a glowing piece of the Aggro-Crag on Nickelodeon GUTS. I beat out 10-year-old Brian "The Dodger" Rogers and 9-year-old Sean "Smiley" Riley. 44) I wear wool mittens instead of gloves in the winter time. 45) I am always regular.