this is what will happen on Christmas 2009 to anyone who forgot to buy britney's album last dec 2nd -- mikey and the samoansz will kick your ass, stomp on your skull, then you will be buried alive as a -- **ToTaL LoOsER** -- and then you will die
Male
31 years old
Hayward, California
United States
General: making sure grunge music stays dead /////// MUSIC: c'mon, everybody knows music went to hell the day after Buddy Holly died! /////////////////// for instance, the LA punk bands circa late 70's: give it up guys, no one ever liked you and no one ever will! punk died when Sid croaked! the UK mags all briefed us on that fact! didn't you hear, New Romantic(s) is the new big thing! (all record collectors who own the BAGS We Don't Need The English on the original YES LA comp, raise your hand and go to the head of the class)
who is my favorite pop music genius? forget Phil Spector, right now it's Stefani Germanotta b.3/20/86 from manhattan, aka
PAPARAZZI (S.Germanotta)
We are the crowd
We're cuh-coming out
Got my flash on it's true
Need that picture of you
It's so magical
We'd be so fantastic, oh
Leather and jeans
garage glamorous
Not sure what it means
It don't have a price
Ready for those flashing lights
'Cause you know that baby I-
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your-
Papa-Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
I'll be your girl backstage at your show
Velvet ropes and guitars
Yeah cause you know I'm starting between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes
Shadow is burnt, yellow dance and return
My lashes are dry- But the teardrops I cry
It don't have a price
Loving you is Cherry Pie
'Cause you know that baby I-
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Real good, We're dancing in the studio
Stop-stopped, That shit on the radio
Don't stop, for anyone
We'll Blast it but we'll still have fun
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi
Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
"THE FAME (album) is about how anyone can feel famous", she explains. "Pop culture is art. It doesn’t make you cool to hate pop culture, so I embraced it and you hear it all over The Fame. But, it’s a sharable fame. I want to invite you all to the party. I want people to feel a part of this lifestyle."
"I make unabashed pop music. I sit at my piano and think, 'FiNd it, GaGa! Where's the killer chorus?' It's not about what I'm feeeeeeling."
"When I started playing in New York, when I was 14, it was more folk, songwriter-y kind of show – just me and the piano. Then when I got downtown, there were so many f**king songwriters. Everybody did the same s**t, super-boring. I wanted to do something that was original and fresh. Well, there's nothing more provocative than doing pop music in the underground, instead of doing underground music that would pass as pop. I'm talking about real pop music that would pass in the underground – the reverse. So I did that."
"During her adolescent years of performing in the clubs of New York, Gaga developed an affinity for songwriting by writing her first song at age 13. “I loove songwriting,"
says GaGa. "It’s so funny - I will just jam around in my underwear, or I could be washing my dishes."
“I get tired of reading reviews about people who say my work is all about shallow bullshit,” Gaga said. “I talked to one of my media friends, Perez Hilton, about my record. He said ‘don’t take this the wrong way, but you write really deep intelligent lyrics with shallow concepts.’ Perez is very intelligent and clearly listened to my record from beginning to end, and he is correct.”
"On my 19th birthday, I just said, "I'm going to get an apartment and a job." My mother started crying. My father was like, "If you don't make something happen within a year, you have to go back to school." A year later, my production deal was signed, so I kept my word. I worked really hard."
"In college I used to write a lot of essays and analytical art papers. I was really into writing pieces about art, religion and social order. I'd look at pop art and politics and write essays. I don't do that anymore, but I still think in that way. I applied that same kind of reckoning to the album. The album doesn't say one thing or another about fame. It explores the different orifices and aspects of fame."
"I’m not trying to prove to anybody that I’m going to be here for 30 years. You either are or you’re not. You either have passion for it, or you don’t. It’s either important for you to stop, and buy a condo, and have babies, and marry a rich actor, or not do any of that, and continue to make music and art, and die alone. Which is what I’ll probably do."
< Q: You used to hang out with friends down on the Times Square sidewalk outside of TRL during its 1999-ish heyday. Explain!? >
"When I was in middle school in NYC, it was right during the whole Britney-Backstreet-'N Sync craze, so after school my (girl)friends and I would catch a train to downtown Manhattan, and stand outside of TRL and cheer like lunatics. And hope that we'd see somebody's face in the window. Or even a foot, a toenail, their back! I look back on it very fondly. It doesn't happen anymore, and that's quite sad. You can't deny the power of a pop group being able to stop traffic!"
"When I'm writing music, I'm thinking about the clothes I want to wear on stage. It's all about everything altogether — performance art, pop performance art, fashion. For me, it's everything coming together and being a real story that will bring back the super-fan. I want to bring that back. I want the imagery to be so strong that fans will want to eat and taste and lick every part of us."
Music
here is how we greet emo bands in the 6th dimension, Err
or anyone who forgot to buy britney's album last december
diss britney and you mess with us oh puny earthlings who only have 2 dimensions
we will F you up smoke your cigarettes drink your beer and then return by space freeway to the 6th Dimension and our luxury condo on PLANET MOONINITE
yeah so when the neat "hidden music player" that Dave Moore set up one this page in 2006 (see below playlist) bit the dust some time ago, that put things into limbo for a while. until now the REIGN OF TERROR SUMMER 2007 courtesy the four DPR pages below in the Friends section, aka "DuTcH PoP" ie modern era "Bubblegum Dance" (see its very own Wikipedia page, yep the new age of pop/dance music now has its very own codified term thanks to the website http://www.bubblegumdancer.com. and that is how we roll in Gayward california when we have Aqua or Ch!pz or DJUMBO on the stereo at 115 decibels with front door wide open to let in the breezy 75 degree mid-summer weather huh.
(here is the old hidden music player playlist that was kinda cool if you like hearing the Circle Jerks and Kylie Minogue in the same music sentence).
CIRCLE JERKS Red Tape
AVENGERS The American In Me
A*TEENS A Perfect Match
BLACK FLAG Fix Me
URINALS Ack Ack Ack Ack
NIKKI CLEARY Summertime Guys
WEIRDOS Solitary Confinement
DILS You're Not Blank (live)
JONAS BROS. The Year 3000
WEIRDOS Destroy All Music
LIVEONRELEASE I'm Afraid Of Britney Spears
CH3 I Got a Gun
HANNAH MONTANA Best Of Both Worlds
THE BAGS We Don't Need The English
NENA w/KIM WILDE Irgendwie Irgendwo Irgendwann
(Anyplace Anywhere Anytime)
STEPS Say You'll Be Mine
KYLIE
Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi
Turn It Into Love
I Should Be So Lucky
DICKIES Gigantor
X Los Angeles
HANNAH MONTANA Who Said
THE EYES - TAQN
ROSE FALCON Up Up Up
GERMS Lexicon Devil
X We're Desperate
well i guess you can see why i don't hired too often as a club DJ.
my only requests that didn't turn up (back then, they do now) seem to be Randoms/Let's Get Rid Of New York, Simpletones/I Like Drugs, and Shock/This Generation's On Vacation
for the scorekeepers = that's 13 LA 1977-82 singles, one Avengers (12") track, seven Radio Disney era tunes, 3 international hits from the first Kylie album, and a couple latterday foreign hit singles (Nena, Liveonrelease). no album cuts. all 45 singles (or the Avengers 12" single/ep) or "hit songs." that is how we fucking roll in gayward HAYWARD california.
if you want 1971 heavy metal instead, just stop by and we'll get the 8-track tapes out (there's dozens and that's just the heavy metal)
Lights Out / SAN FERNANDO VALLEY hall gig 1983
pro euroskater Ali Boulala has > 100k retail boards sold, here someone put the song "STP Not LSD" to some practice footage http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Boulala ****
THE UNOFFICIAL ACCIDENTAL ANGRY SAMOANS DISCUSSION BOARD
http://forums.myspace.com/t/3757017.aspx?fuseaction=forums.viewthread
yep "what did i do to piss off Metal Mike?" with 1001 subjects about 101 different bands (most importantly KISS vs AEROSMITH @1976 for about 300 posts/YouTube clips) and 1400+ (1500?) posts ehhhhh and mostly ReTaRDeD huhuhuhu cause mike occasionally posts in there to ensure quality control
of far more importance is our other existential philosophy forum thread
THIS IS THE BEST MUSIC FOR NAKED LESBIAN PARTIES!
http://forums.myspace.com/t/4613943.aspx?fuseaction=forums.viewthread
no, seriously. you think you know Nietzsche? no. study the MUSIC FOR NAKED LESBIAN PARTIES thread six months from now when it's got its own 500+ posts. THEN you might know Nietzsche. maybe.
Movies
anything at all as long as there's no lame mope-rock grunge-rock, Lilith-girl college-rock, gay alterna-crap on the soundtrack. Spice Girls vs. Pearl Jam? oh c'mon. Would YOU wanna hear Scott Weiland (or worse, Eddie Vetter or even still worse that dead-junkie bad-guitarist schmuck/loser Cobain)'s howling up on the screen of your forced date-night chick-movie? three words: KILL ME NOW // support your local multiplex, keep fine art UP ON THE BIG SCREEN where it belongs
Television
everything I know I learned on MTV. all of it. dude -- Room Raiders rules!! Parental Control rules even harder! I am the world's number 5.0 1999-TRL slut, with a bullet. consider = what other channel(s) (counting VH1) have hours of cheesy videos between three AM till mid-morning EVERY single day?? boy, those Real World/Road Rules peeps sure are a bunch of numbskull assholes though. yeah, stuff those fuckwads in a trash can.
Stacey Q (at 0:40) is almost on my heroes list yeaaaah
Books
Philip K Dick....uh, everything. I have read em all thrice at the least. apart from that = anyone's intelligent philosophy is all about The World According To DaPhNe AnD CeLeStE... i own a gilded gold-bordered limited pressing autographed special edition,yes. ooh stick you, ur momma too, and your daddy! it's important to have things in perspective, and we can all thank Daphne and Celeste for making that possible, forever. translation = fuck art, can you dance to it?
oh and here is what happens to you if you don't read all the books on your 12th grade English summer Reading List
you wind up a creepy dumm rich bitch puffing weed in holland
and daphne and celeste will kick your U.G.L.Y. ass after they diss you for three minutes
Heroes
philip k dick, dave davies, gene vincent for being the original punk (tho not exactly sXe), the gear fab Modernettes (Vancouver '78 - '81), Max Martin/Dr Luke ABBA and the A*Teens, Black Flag with Keith, AC/DC with Bon Scott, every single punk rock band in 1979 LA/OC, the awesome Skye Sweetnam from bolton canada for NOISE FROM THE BASEMENT. the 1964 Beatles, duh. EVERY great twist music hit on Cameo/Parkway 1961-1963 who had the greatest house band ever. emily/riverside, our band's in house random chaos theory specialist and top phone prank-caller. aah, all the great Brill Building writing teams, as cliche as that is to namecheck (Greenwich/Barry, Goffin/King, and Mann/Weil are all gods of pop songwriting). hilary duff. wait a minute...omg did i say hilary puffy duff is one of my 21st century musical heroes? yes = because ha! = anyone can be a singer! you, me, the mailman down the street, even squeaky-toy-career-lipsyncer HiLaRY DuFF! YEAAAAAAA! i should probably cut back a bit on the off-day Pepsi One liter bottles though...the same Buddah Records comp has been playing over and over and over on the turntable for 6 hours and i didn't even notice. therefore, i rule. oh yeah, and the new/recent Britney album is great.
annd don't forget the Archies, Ohio Express, 1910 Fruitgum Co., Middle of the Road, and every cool bubblegum tune there ever was. Bubblegum music rules! Kill! Kill! Kill the hippies!!!
MIDDLE OF THE ROAD Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum
LUV Tingalingaling 1981 final single by dutch ABBA-knockoff 1978-81 whose second album (of four) equalled ABBA's best (their faux-bjorn/benny writers/producers stayed behind the curtains)
yess PWL 1987 UK charttopper in a video/TV mashup whoa hella naked gay dancers
BANANARAMA Love In The First Degree
CH!PZ dutch One Two Three THIS IS THE BEST HIPPIE SCARIN' MUSIC EVER! hahaha dancin' off against Technos and ranking on them until they combust and vaporize, omg classic THIS IS THE GREATEST VIDEO EVER
The University Of Texas At Austin
Austin, TEXAS
Graduated: 1973
Student status: Alumni
Major: http://www.dickdestiny.com/blog/2006/05/he-was-metal-man-before-you-left-in.html YEP "HEAVY
Minor: Pt 2 http://www.dickdestiny.com/blog/2006/05/he-was-metal-man-before-you-ii-nothing.html METAL"
Clubs: Wikipedia says i'm a loooser http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Saunders
Greek:
Iota Iota Mu
1970 to 1973
Angry Samoans's Companies
Angry Samoans see age of our BAND ( = X minus 1978)...our band is older than you!! formed in a garage in Van Nuys california, Cali punk rock roolz baby BA yes i am the fool who started the damn band mr. me stun guitar division, baby
since August 1978
Angry Samoans is in your extended network view more
About me: hits hits and more hits, people who don't like dance music or this particular new hybrid of american disco/dance/80'sPWL-redux are going to be so sick of hearing/seeing this new singa by the end of 2010 it will be a global pandemic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_RLPUnW2YY
new single BAD ROMANCE, awesomely great 1986-Miami-freestyle retro redux! 4 TO THE FLOOR fuckin believe it 1 2 3 4 1234 1234 1234 pound that kick drum sample right through the concrete
ABOUT ME:
Thankszgiving ?? we HAVE NO THANKSGIVING-TARDoDAY or christmas or B-Days or any other holidays here in the infinitely superior 6th Dimension, where EVERY DAY IS A HOLIDAY! do not try to understand it, you can't. just sit in your 2-dimensional Earth hut next Memorial Day and stew in the sweltering heat with your stale Coors watching bad sitcom reruns on TV Land channel.
flip the earthlings the bird harder, Err!
"i'm dOiNg iT aS hArD aS i FREAKIN CAN!!"
"but lady gaga's hair keeps getting in the f*ck*n' way!""
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuUieuT8QMo
live UK TV (Poker Face), paul o'grady show 4/20/09. DJ Space Cowboy is beyond cool w/the hand gestures/backup vocals at the DJ/tapes desk where a drum kit would normally be. TWO monster no. 1 hits just 60 days apart, the best pop album in 500 years, and 10? 15? million download singles sold already, insane great word of mouth starting from the dance clubs, dig it, don't be an 18th century hodad!
"the making of THE FAME the album" self-P/R clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCyqcoWUBJE
GaGa rules beyond ruling, she's awesomme. and a brilliant pop/dance songwriter.
ahem
SEC! SEC!
SEC! SEC!
SEC! SEC!
SEC! SEC!
SEC! SEC!
rules the fuckin NCAA football worlddd once again
damn right. three straight national championships holy crap and Tebow's coming back!
SEC SEC SEC! for fuckin reals!
yes we looove the sound of Miranda Lambert's hard-country east texas (Lindale, pop 2,954) voice. and her best songs ditto. basically miranda lambert is the modern-century SHIT as a singer/songwriter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPqQXaeHLfQ
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED pure OK/TX honky tonk, 50's style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON341Obo8wA
FAMOUS IN A SMALL TOWN Miranda Lambert (video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-An-ce-EQqI
KEROSENE (fan mashup video)
later on we'll get back to my favorite NEW BRITNEY or GAGA SONGS on repeat/repeat/repeat/repeat
just back off with the Buffy tools and there won't be a problem
THE UNOFFICIAL ACCIDENTAL ANGRY SAMOANS DISCUSSION BOARD
aka "what did i do to piss off Metal Mike?" (as titled by the Daniel James Gang an eon ago)
is the dumping ground (including audience heckling) for 1001 subjects covered including 101 other bands on its 1,400+ (1,500?) posts. well, KISS vs. AEROSMITH 1974-78 in depth for 300+ posts/YouTube clips starting around no.920. With later posted or scheduled History Of Rock Youtube Style covering Alice Cooper Band 1964-74, the Kinks, the Monkees, and only then the other 999 bands of any importance, including or not including our own pack of punk rock losers.
also there is our new(er) YouTube comp/forum thread
dealing with the important worldwide matter of ALL DANCE MUSIC SINCE like 1973 yep George McCrae through Gaga, all of it, that's fuckin right ALL of it. or everything on YouTube that the WMG flamethrower wackjobs don't keep erasing
SONGS ARE ON THE ANGRY SAMOANS MUSIC PAGE that just went up March 2009
www.myspace.com/angrysamoans1978
it's on the first line of the Friends section below
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR MYSPACE MUSIC PAGE WAY BACK IN EARLY 2006? eh well the post-buyout zom-bot censor software nuked the page. i was told the Violent Femmes had their page nuked 3 times and counting! the Circle Jerks page disappeared, the Germs disappeared, etc. i guess those pages are finally back, but i have other things to do like watch every SEC football game televised on CBS or ABC or ESPN/ESPN2. yes i delegated the chore to the unpaid imaginary interns, and after a mere 3 years they have finally got another MUSIC PAGE back up with our crummy music whaatever.
THERE ARE SOME SONGS up all over other Angry Samoans pages that aren't ours (in the MUSIC section), just post up the search function in the music section.
THIS PAGE IS RUN BY THE ANGRY SAMOANS. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE THROUGH THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. (booking questions should go to the Covert Booking page down in the friends section below). NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE.
I AM JUST THE MERCH TABLE SPECIALIST (me, metal mike, the skinny old guy in the WNBA basketball jersey on the center microphone)...all the $5-dollar piles of cool/wack girls/boys/men/toddlers t-shirts or tops or etc (all one of a kind from our huge local thrift stores, Thrift Town san leandro and Thrift Center hayward especially, picked by our expert imaginary interns to get screened with the many various angry samoans screenprints or logos) that you can only find at Samoans gigs or my front side room in Hayward, California (cost-only of 2dollars 50cents to the locals that bang on the front door. can bruce springsteen do that? no! therefore i am cooler >> than bruce springsteen in all merch matters)...this what i have been trained to do, NOT BOOKING. i'm not a booker. i don't do that capitalist shit. besides selling 5-dollar t-shirts at a 100% percent markup. therefore technically i am also a capitalist pigg two degrees removed from The Man. but where else can you find every type of thrift-store clothing item imaginable (boys/girls/mens/toddlers, from t-shirts to girls-tops to dresses or jackets or hoodies to short-skirts to even occasional backpacks or cloth shopping bags, not to mention even butt-sides of nice clean ex/cond Lady Hanes underwear) at a "rock gig" and for only 5-dollars each.
i also sing a little, and play a little guitar or drums or whatever, in between being a total slacker during the gigs mid-evening when the volunteer merch-help faces arrive.
and yes there is ALWAYS a dance contest about 12 songs into each set. which are the same 35 songs give or take, once you add a few more tunes to this slightly older and obviously inferior (where's Wasted and Nervous Breakdown right before the end of the set? yeahhh get it together buddy).
it takes roughly 50 minutes to play the 35 songs on a set list, in case the BIG BANG THEORY science jocks are wondering about the astrophysics of it all. and that is just how us LA/OC bands rolled in 1979 (more like 20 songs in 25 minutes back then, actually).
so let me repeat a common question, who does this page? man i just do not fucking know. let me look up some hints as to who would (a) be stupid enough to; or (b) have endless free time to do it in the first place.
if you Google any of these
< "metal mike" + "DaPhNe & CeLeSTe" > ("&" not the letter "and")
If none of this convinces you (that us is really us), google < "mike saunders" + CREEM + "sir lord baltimore" > and run for the hills crying like a little bitch. In fact, fuck it, google < "humble pie" + "mike saunders" + "heavy metal crap" + "ROLLING STONE" > and be a man about it. yep, six months prior (to the Sir Lord Baltimore review for first lp KINGDOM COME), I intended (trashing three Humble Pie albums all at once just to be a pissant, basically) the phrase (out of Freshman Chemistry 101 in engineering school at the Univ of Arkansas, freshman spring 1970) as a record-review insult right off the chemistry class blackboard ( PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS, down around the Heavy Metals, duh! = "leaden metal" and "heavy metal" as insults) yeahh. But, correct,the great Black Sabbath PARANOID album shipped a few months later (very early 1971 in america) but very odd/curious = even with that and all other 1971 early-metal noisemakers on the turntables for record review in a half-dozen "national magazines" (Rolling Stone, CREEM, Fusion, Rock, Circus, and newbie Phonograph Record Magazine for starters) not one other sucka (i trace the whole thing easily back to SaTaN; how else could you explain all those bad Slayer albums?)in America ever thought of using the term in print before the year 1972. Meaning as a "musical term or reference," ie not as bike noises (the Born To Be Wild lyric by Steppenwolf), nor as military artillery (long referred to as "heavy metal," unbeknownst to me at the time), nor the least of the lot and furthest-from-the-mainstream (ditto the Hapshash and the Heavy Metal Kids lp which copped its band name from same = ) the Burroughs references from some obscure 50's book no one but college literary-beatniks ever knew jackshit about (we sure never heard of it in Little Rock, nor gave a flying fuck, re Naked Lunch/burroughs). And hell, no one (me included) ever thought "heavy metal" would be cool for longer for a couple years 9after it started to totally suck ass around 1973 with led zeppelin's horrible useless total-shit-5th-album). yep = IT'S ALL OURv (my) FAULT! Krokus. Grim Reaper. Winger. Testament, Death Angel, 9,000 crummy poser 80's Sunset Strip bands, all that shit...every asshole idiot "heavy metal" band of the 80's = all blame eventually traces to me! (for the phrase "HM" that made their dumb scene have a foolproof marketing tag; in american it's ALL about the catchy phrases and images for hella sure; shit you can put on the back of your jacket, too!) honest truth = omg i have to go kill myself. a more disengenous type might try to pawn off some of the 500-years-in-Beezlebub's-purgatory sentence onto (mars bonfire who wrote the hit for) Steppenwolf ("thunderbolts and lightning/heavy metal thunder") (from 1968 radio hit Born To Be Wild), nahh it was just some 18 year old trying to make grocery money by trashing Humble Pie albums because back in the spring70 as a college freshman, he'd (me, clueless as charged) wasted TWO WEEKS ALLOWANCE on a couple of import Humble Pie albums that were complete shit (esp As Safe As Yesterday Is, wow, beyond terrible), and given the opportunity to extract revenge (the minute that band released a higher-profile album in america,ie their first A&M lp) PLUS get my 15 to 20 bucks back, the most appropriate insult was pulled ( = stiff, turgid, leaden = "leaden metal" and ka-ching = "heavy metal," to describe the clods in Humble Pie's rhythm section circa 1969-70), the big guns were pulled out and i used my access (as frequent reviewer) to the popular underground-only mag Rolling Stone's review section. and my eternal apologies go out to anyone who ever suffered through a Cinderella album or Motley Crue or bad Judas Priest/Maiden (i hate NWOBHM more than bad free jazz, and that is not a compliment) or WaspWingerKeelGrimReaper(that's the part where 100 album covers fly by at ever-increasing speed), since that innocent moment of 1970-adolescent-revenge via-media was unintentionally the ground zero of "heavy metal" as a term describing a style of music. Nov. 12, 1970 (rolling stone) newsstand date for all you record collectors and Humble Pie fans who'd like to send me insults/hate mail.
Although i would completely agree with anyone who posits otherwise (differently from the common Sabbath big-bang best-songs guitars-tuned-down biggest-later-profile theory) that "Good Times Bad Times" opening the Led Zeppelin album in EARLY 1969 is indeed a clear-cut musical ground zero (of the evolution of heavy rock into heavy metal during 1969-1971).
on the other hand, who gives a flying fuck
common Q/A FAQ: yes we like "that 60's bubblegum shit" better than hardcore (or NWOBHM). go suck on an Archies album, kid. don't even ask us what we "like Swedish Pop or britney" better than. you couldn't handle it, buddy. (it's over half of your record collection, hahaha)
DUMBASS QUESTIONS WE DO NOT ANSWER:
"can you put me on the guest list?" no we won't. guest list is for crew and my help at the merch table. go steal the money from your mom's purse.
"can our band play with yours?" no you can't.
"are you too stupid to know how to work HTML?" yes, duh!
"are you ever going to play (< insert the name of your town here >) Denver?" no. we play California where all the beautiful people are. well, we might play all over Texas one of these years (cause I went to school there)(Ed note: yep, a weekend Nov 2007 houston and a austin festival gig). and we played Orlando, Jacksonville, Miami, and St Petersburg/Tampa in spring 2005 just to piss the rest of you off. ok, we played Spain/UK/GERMANY a couple summers ago (Ed note: and may 2006 and may 2007 another 8 gigs around germany/european mainland each time, mister nostradumbass), but why go back to big Europe gigs when there's Lancaster, Fresno, Victorville, Bakersfield, Hemet, and Mira Mesa to go be a weekend punk rock party band at? (and drive home before the sun comes up). we'd rather watch TV (or go to work for that big $$ money $$) than "tour." get over it.
"is Motley Crue gay?" yes.
"are you really metal mike?" no. i'm your fucking granddad. and we're going out to your dad's woodshed, right now. because you've been such a dumbass.
Who I'd like to meet: the person who killed grunge music and shake his hand
then, party down till dawn 2001 to celebrate with the immortal UK2000 awezsome hella funny pop stars DAPHNE AND CELESTE
and also FRIEND NO. 10,000!
oh yeah, and i'd like to meet the wolf in A-MOE's Mom Is Dead (norway hit 2006) and form a folk duo with him. he could eat people and set acoustic guitars on fire and shit because that's what wolves do when you ask them to sing a Childe ballad
if i was gay i'd want to meet Stacey Q and run errands for her in 1986 nooo shit believe it
straight? age 18? in holland 2006 i'd be trying to meet hot "older women" like DJUMBO backstage, being their microphone case roadie or deli order gofer would be my temporary goal in life
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Angry Samoans LINEUPS FAQ: Arkansas refugees and Univ of Texas at Austin graduates (four years apart), Saunders brothers Mike and Kevin founded this bunch of malcontents in Summer 1978, in the large garage/practice space/crash pad (Kevin's) at 14922 Basset Street, Van Nuys, California, where Mike and three other guys (including Dave Roeder of excellent LA power-pop band the Tremors on Bomp Records) lived up in the main house... For the in-depth full story of the "official band meeting" where the band was named shortly before its first gig (on October 31, 1978, opening for Roky Erickson and the Aliens at the Rodeo Theatre; the second gig being the next night, a Sunday SF Mabuhay all-LA bill of Shock/The Zeros/Angry Samoans), see guitarist Kevin's recounting and other highlights/lowlights of the band's nutty first year on http://www.angrysamoans.com.
Bill Vockeroth joined on drums on a Saturday afternoon in August 1978, and has played every gig (save only one in summer 1985) for the band since. In 1996 he was given additional singing duties and, a la classic Toxic Reasons, gets out front and sings about five songs during the middle of every gig (with VOM drummer Mike switching off in reverse).
Todd Homer joined about two hours later the same day on bass, August 1978, and played ten full years of gigs through our first 924 Gilman St. gig, December 1988. He subsequently recorded/released about five albums with Larry Robinson, as 60's-psych act Mooseheart Faith, all recommended.
Todd was then replaced for three years, 1989 - 1991, by bassist Heith Seifert.
Gregg Turner (like Mike an ex-VOM member, co-vocals in GT's case) was standing around the day Bill and Todd signed up and "jammed" with Kevin and Mike on "Two Tub Man" and "I'm In Love With Your Mom." "What's he do?" "We're not sure." "Huh?" "What do you mean, huh?" "Huh?" He wound up singing some, like in VOM, and once he learned guitar was immediately pressed into duty as a guitarist starting in early 1980 (for the last six songs of any set, Mike ditching axe and switching formation to lead singer proper) and taking over as second guitarist permanently for eleven years upon Mike's depature in July 1980.
Gregg played all Samoans gigs (except when he was sick) through December 1991 (after which the band lasped into one of their many short vacations/hiatuses from regular gigging, except it became the longest one by far). He disappeared from the state of Califonnia a little more than a year later, with no forwarding address or phone number furnished to this day. He has recorded/released three albums since then, as the Mistaken and then as the Blood Drained Cows.
Mike quit after just two years, in July 1980, when he got a big job promotion and relocated 400 miles northward to Hayward Vesper Hospital job's town of Hayward, CA (about 10 miles south of Oakland...ie in the EAST BAY, as in Creedence Clearwater, 924 Gilman St, and Green Day. We're trying to forget about Rancid), where he lives to this day (some two addresses later, all rent control).
Mike was replaced from late 1980 through summer 1981 by Jeff Dahl (on lead vocals), who lasted almost a year (through the peak of the band's "blacklisting" at all LA venues that were within about 20 miles of Hollywood, due to power-mad-vermin-impersonating-a-bad-DJ Rodney Bingenheimer's quite serious attempt to exterminate the Samoans (starting in late 1979 with a threatened lawsuit of "$500,000 in punitive damages," followed by other threatened lawsuits, all of which were used as xerox fodder to make gig fliers). Seems the world's worst DJ was pissed because the band had apparently implied that the great one was a "pathetic male queer" and a pedophile (?? the two accusations are contradictory--and this from a band with THREE college graduates, in late 1978) in the tune "Get Off The Air," so he had X's lawyer Jay Jenkins threaten to have the first Samoans EP "injoined and taken off the market" if they dared to record this peaen to Hollywood's most famous male groupie. In reality, all he (Rodney) could do was strong arm Lee Ving's producer credits into removal (he had already temporarily blacklisted Fear in 1978 when Lee goofed on him in a 1977 Slash Magazine interview right after the release of Fear's "Now You're Dead" 45) for ten years until the album's resissue on Triple X Records. Yes, it is a true Hollywood urban legend that during that most unpleasant year of 1981, nefarious scammer Cookoo's Nest/Costa Mesa club owner Jerry Roach sent the Angry Samoans' $100 gig fee (after playing a second-billed slot to TSOL) to Rodney, as a "peace offering."
Anyway, Jeff Dahl found out that playing in the Angry Samoans in 1981 was about as pleasant as having your head pounded with a double-sized hammer each morning upon awakening, and left sometime before or after Labor Day, 1981.
Mike rejoined (on vocals only, until 1989 when the band reconfigured to a four piece, to this day) in December 1981 for reasons that make no sense to anyone including himself--since he lives 400 miles away from Los Angeles.
Basically it was to help get the half-finished BACK FROM SAMOA album finished (only seven of the fourteen tracks that were finally used had been recorded, and only three of them had vocals on them, contrary to Gregg Turner's bullshit stories about that album, oh wait that's anything delusional numbskull Turner's word-vomit back-spews concerning anything factual...to this day Phd Bonehead thinks/tells interviewers the 800 bodies at the Boston Channel gig April 1983 were 2,000! and this nimrod's a MATH PHd!), and then ehh one thing led to another. right, a sane person would've just taken their songs with them, reformed a up-to-standard Mach 2 lineup of the band in their East Bay backyard, and not had to travel 800+ miles roundtrip to every gig for the last 25+ years.
Founding guitarist Kevin Saunders left in July 1979 to go to grad school at Cornell University (and let it be noted that Harlan Hollander of the Tremors filled in for four gigs, and that X-8 of Flipside fanzine was one of the early Summer 1979 auditionees for the guitar job). Kevin was replaced in September 1979 by P.J. Galligan from Ventura (and formerly of unrecorded punk circuit band the T.U.M.O.R.S), whom at that point in time was possibly one of the five best punk rock rhythm guitarists on planet earth (two of the others quite definitely being Greg Hetson and Greg Ginn). PJ lasted until Fall 1984, whereupon he was replaced on lead guitar by Steve Drojensky (formerly of RF7). Steve likewise lasted five years. He later played in all kinds of bands (including Fifi on Triple X Records).
Remaining original members Bill and Mike considered doing Lee Michaels/Frosty type gigs as a two piece in 1993 (when Gregg Turner's phone turned up dead, with no forwarding address), but this was about eight years before the White Stripes so nothing of this type transpired (during years 1993 - 1995). And the White Stripes are lame, so why would we wanta do that anyway? Oh wait--Lee Michaels/Frosty. (who at least rocked a little).
In Spring 1996, Alison Victor (formerly of the Guttersluts, and SF Gargoyles, and later AC/DShe) joined on lead guitar (and East Bay local and former Chabot College 3rd string varsity quarterback Mark Byrne, formerly in 924 Gilman punk band AK-47, joined as 5th Wheel guitarist/MC/bunny thrower) for two and a half years of gigs through September 1998.
Bassist Julia Altstatt (also from the SF Gargoyles) played the "northern california" lineup's first gig at UC Davis in May 1996, then moved back east to Washington, D.C. Mike Alvirez of Oppressed Logic filled in for six months, followed by Adrianne Harmon from Vancouver, Canada, who came down for the first six months of 1997 gigs. Tony Palmer (also from the SF Gargoyles final lineup, with Alison) played bass in 1998 at the final gigs of the Bill/Mike Alison/Mark "northern california" lineup (which gigged at every all-ages small town/venue within 200 miles of the Bay Area, including Oakhurst, Gilroy, Turlock, and even Sonora out near Yosemite Park).
In October 1998, Jonathan Hall on lead guitar (formerly of the Porno Sponges on Jem/PVC Records, then later on many recordings with the Kings of Oblivion and Backbiter) and bassist Heith Seifert (see above, the 1989 - 1991 bassist replacing original member Todd Homer) joined up for five years of Southern California (and occasionally elsewhere) gigs, up through the band's first European trip ever ( = germans like California punk rock much, and yes the crowds in the homeland were BIG) in June 2003.
Dave Teague and Rick Dasher from the Dickies started playing our gigs on lead guitar and bass in November 2003 , and it was an honor just playing on the same stage as them. Those two guys smoke! (musically) ( = kick ass). Dave quit playing guitar in any bands except his own in late summer 2005, so Jonathan Hall came back/filled in for five months until the next semi-permanent angry samoans 1st guitarist was recruited (there've been seven now).
Kevin Joseph joined in February 2006 as the closest thing to a fascimile (musically) of 1981 rhythm-shredder PJ that we've had since then.
Except for Tony Conn (who is impossible to explain) in Oct 1978, and some guy named Scott who played bass for a few gigs in 1979 before Heath Siefert showed up, that would account for every live body who has ever played a Samoans gig--oops, except for Mark Aber from Aggression who played drums at two gigs in Summer 1985 (Bill had quit for a year after a big fight with bassist Todd, then came back). And some fake "Angry Samoans" gig that Gregg Turner played in Santa Fe, New Mexico (where he was teaching college calculus to non-math majors, we were told) during the late 90's with local musicians (we will pay top price for a board tape, video, or even detailed description!).
The band never "broke up," contrary to nonsense from the toiner faction-of-one (who didn't even quit, the chump disappeared without notice or a forwarding address). Me and Bill just didn't feel like doing a Lee Michaels and Frosty routine. We sure could've. But for some strange reason, "Gas Chamber" sounds better with four guys instead of two.
---metal mike, hayward, california / december 2003 (and later updates)
page 192503 here posted up DEC 2003 yep ground zero of this new netwoiking world
quick Err, let us leave this forsaken planet of 2-dimensional eeediots and sunbathe back in the back yard of our palatial 6th dimension condo on home Planet Mooninite where there is no grunge music or emo dorks damn right
hey mike, so i don't get it, are we playing the friday 11th in Santa Barbara and sunday the 13th in Riverside or not? We are working on getting a show on saturday the 12th. please let us know when u can cuz its only 5 weeks ahead, it'd be better to have a knowledge of that already. hope you understand. thanx for the support
hahah thats because you wrote the song and its by far my favorite on that record.
i only like a handfull of hair metal bands. twisted sister, w.a.s.p , ratt to name a few. motley crue is the worst band ever. i would rather listen to duran duran then rocking out to them. oh! i'm in a punk band called The Spoiled Brats. we are in the process or i should say i'm in the process because nobody wants to play with me of reocording 9 song cd. i will hook you up with stuff if you like it!
yr such a fukn dick, but spot on and you crack me up!!!!i will let you do yr domestic thang.i prefer IS IT MY BODY.thats the stuff for me.but cannot wait to check out all yr gems of coolness n radness in the vaults.fucktards!!!ha!!!!later gator, ry ry
yr flippin awesome.our drummer Dyami Laserna's Dad used to have a guitar shop in hwd and u used to get yr stuff werked on there.u r cool.heard u dont get loaded.thats cool 2.me neither...not any more.anyways.........
so hopefully next sat we can do that unless sumthin comes up.u goin to check out Nobunny do the Cramps and Shannon and the Clams do Alice Cooper 2nite at the stork???????????hmmmmmmmmm??!should.............
hey thanks Mr. Metal Mike.you still have those Muffs early era video tapes?havent seen you around in a while.you used to be everywhere in that kerplunk car, or with a can of tuna and a poison?laminate.you are awesome.hopem to open for you one day.be well and dont stop, pmw
