Punkin's Blog

I once was myself, fun loving caring trying to find happiness and someone to love me.  When alone came Coy, A very fishy man who came along on this thing we use called myspace.  I tryed to be spectical of this person wanting to know if i was friends with Ryan Scroggns.  After investagating all of his pictues and profile, I descovered that I knew this so called Coy. I've seen him at The Contential Club, Bohimeos, and at countless other shows.  So I decieded to myself that we should hang out and see a show together.  September 23,2008 I went to meet Coy at his house and the only reason I remeber the day is because it was the day Coy got his power back at his house forom herrican Ike.  Well, I met alot of Coys friends that day, it was a good night and after they left Coy and I wnt inside and started talking sitting on his bed.  After a while Coy knocked me down and said "even tho you smell like bug spray its still nice to lay next to you." 

Ever since that day i have seen Coy every weekend.  He is a very odd man and I fell in love with him.  Now at first he was silly ,but I went with it anyway, he said that he did not want to put a lable on us.  The one day out of the blue he was talking to someone over the phone and he called me his girlfriend. Woo Woo!  Then not too long after that the single statues on his myspace turned into in relationship, I e-mailed him and said did you really change it, he ssaid yes, so I quickly changed mine to in a relationship too.  Things were moving on up, still waitting for him to change it from dating,serious relationships to just friends and networking.

Nine months down the line and we are still talking/trying/working on moving in together.  Its very fustrating for me being in Humble with a job I am about to quit and I only hear things when I head into Baytown, where Coy gets to hear everyone talk about the same things over and over all times of the day.  I hae so many questions but theres never an answer. Only time will tell, I hope that we get something soon. 

Well the real reson for the blog is that I am worried.  I am worried that I am more in love with Coy than he is inlove with me, that's never happend to me before its scary.  I am all about giving my love and making my boyfriend happy and Coy has been broken hearted many of times by countless other girls and so he once was like me will to share al of his love, into what he is today a not really to affectionate person who is content with me being around in the same general area without ever giving me a hug, kiss, or hold my hand.  Yet he is protective of me and I am starting to rub a spot on his hard shell.  I am full of emotion and I just don't understand how it can be so simple for Coy to be a nihilist.  I just don't want to end up hurt I am really putting my self out there for Coy to embrace and love.