aaron's Blog
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eh...
so...i am fine with some "friends" not being the best to you at times...i think most friends are really just close acquaintances but that is a matter of sematics and is a discussion i am really not willing to to discuss now...but when a real friend..someone you trust, admire, care for and plainly just love decideds to treat you so shitty that you are forced to reevaluate that friendship is a very hard thing to deal with...now i know i open up too much, i talk too much and the most of all i trust too much... and it gets me into problems most the time...namely when you have misidentified certain people as being "friends" when they were not...i hate how my heart hurts like that..and most of the time situations liek that only tend to affect me when it happens from someone very close to me (often a girlfriend) decided to be a different person or treat me in a horrible way...but it happened to day and while one of the people i genuinely believe to be a close friend did in fact act in that regard, i was able to sit down and talk through it, even thoguh it hurt...the screwed up part is that there were others in this situation that i genuinely was distraught over the way they were treating me...now i can understand a lot.. andi am fine with taken much of the agency through empathy,...but the fact that i obviously had a mcuh higgher reagrd for them than they ever did for me is saddening and depressing to me... why cant people sometimes see confrontation as positive, even if the tone of the confrontation or discourse is heated...i am not talkign purely devils advocate stuff here either... I am just constantly being hurt by my apparent lack of being able to see into some people...maybe i am just lonely and wanting some comradry, or some kind of feelign of acceptance.... how weak huh? why do i hurt myself so much...why cant i just shut my mouth and nod??? why cant i just accept that i am not as great of a person as I would like to be...i have trouble seeing it myself anyway...i guess i shoudlnt be so surprised that others dont as well.. i guess i am just denying it... oh well...
aa -
a bulletin too...
i felt like doing this...so screw you if you think it is trite
105 Facts About You
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring?
nope...thought about giving one
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
2yrs
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
yesterday i just got cash from my grandma for last years birthday (july)
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
yep...never broke
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
ick..bad topic...injuries make it hard
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
music...geeky tech things
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
rib eye steak...havent had a good steak in months
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
eyes, then hair...then jaw line and neck
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Lost in the feelin' - Latyrx
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Bloomington, IN
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Plainfield
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
verizon
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
depends on the mall...probably a book store
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
probably student...
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
yep
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
no, not on pur[ose...but if i dial the wrong numbe i usually try to make it fun
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Lucas
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
annie and then grady
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
couple of weeks
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
depends on the crave...kfc original recipe chicken breast
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
"i love you too"
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
San Francisco
24. CAN YOU COOK?
i can...if i have the right equipment and ingredients
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
i think it is a grand am..i have an explorer that is sitting but i guess i could drive it
26. BEST KISSER:
i think i am pretty good...but most people are pretty good if they mean it
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
cant remember...i think i cried at the end of Dancer in the Dark that i saw again again the other day..at least teared up
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
too many...i have a consistency problem..but some mushrooms can kill me (allergy)
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
i think a lot
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
fear of failure
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
i am sure i have worked a 20ish hour shift at a job...but i have stayed up 5 nights and 6 days straight working in the darkroom
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
lots... first Star Wars is a keeper
34. CAN YOU SING?
yeah a little...i used to be decent but i havent practiced in forever
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Lyrics Born (but i saw a comedian Zach Galifianakis a coupel weeks ago)
36. LAST KISS?
hmmm....depends on type of kiss (passion or familial) both havent been that long
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
Borat
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
sketchpad/journal and ipod and cellphone
39. FAVORITE vacation spot
San Francisco and NYC
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
laptop
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
tough one...depends on my mood.... right now Zach Galifianakis
45. DO YOU SMOKE?
yep...a tobacco pipe
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
with
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
my television
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
not so far for me..but each relationship is different..and i have seen it work
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
10ish
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
they are both breakfast foods and i dont liek breakfast that much...but i guess fench toast
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
yes, black
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
broken yoke over extra hard
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
no
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
annie
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Stepmom
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
Annie about baseball
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
3
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
jeans, t shirt, button up, boxers and socks
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
"you gotta stand up for something even if you're sitting down"-lifesavas
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
none
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
yes, but i prefer to watch
63. CAN YOU SWIM?
yep, outta practice though
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
last night...a commercial that wasnt suuposed to be funny
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
8
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Jamal and Fritz (they were both there when i was born)
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Ian and Andrea's art show tonight then hanging out with Kathleen and watching the Cardinals game... work tomorrow and trying not to spend money but still watching the Cardinals game..Sunday, watching the Cardinals game and maybe paintball with the studio art guys
78. BIRTHDATE
7/18/1978
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
happy...working in the arts and being able to make my own work...also i woudl like to keep working on my standup
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
yep
87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
no
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW
yes
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
NYC or SF
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
no
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
yes
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
i dunno... I do like "Alan Finger"
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
dont have one anymore i dont think
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
no..dont think i am really in school anymore
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
no
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
yep, 2
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER
yes, two younger
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
no
101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
i dont think so...i definitely care a lot about some people...but dont think we are "in love" nor are we even dating...odd
102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yep
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
yep...i am feeling a need to see Grady
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
forefinger ring
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
go to the Lilly for work -
encouragement...
any good vibes anyone could throw at me this week i would appreciate it...i have a phone interview for a job...
thanks all!
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odd...
i just realized that most of my friends are girls... odd... not bad by any means but just odd... it is odd how thigns change over time...i still have many male friends, but the balance has definitely swung... damn, i am probably "that" guy... sigh