MySpace - Ðani[FM]✖ - 20 - Female - Made In, Massachusetts

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<>11.29.08. The day that started it all.
I honestly do not know where to begin here. Hmm. . .Okay, let's try this. Frederico Cardoso. [I fucking love his namee. So fancy. XD] The last boy I ever expected to date, but the one I secretly wished for. So many people liked him, and still do. Most of them being my friends. He had so many options, but in the end he chose me. And of course the aftermath wasn't too pleasant. My true, true friends that liked him got over it. They wanted to see me happy. The one's that didn't get over it. . .well, they don't really know the whole story anyway, so it doesn't really bother me. Now obviously I felt bad because my best friend/birthday twin/Tink liked him at the time. At one

point I wanted them to get together, but after he didn't reciprocate her feelings, sure I wanted to kick him in the butt. XD But one thing led to another; and sure enough we got together. My best friend is fine with it now, though. She wants nothing more than to see me happy, and I want the same for her. Unfortunately, there are still people that think that issue is still an issue. Honestly, move on guys. Grudges are dumb, and you'll forget it ever happened once you graduate High School. =P

Moving on. . . .

Sometimes I wonder why he's still even with me. He usually feels the wrath of my mood swings, and that usually is where my relationships end. I admit, I do say and do some things that could really upset him, but he puts up with it. He has very good patience with me and in general. Then again, he's the biggest asshole I've ever met. He says the wrong things to me sometimes, and his attitude stinks from time to time. But I look past it. A flaw for a flaw. I look past his, he looks past mine. Doesn't mean we're happy with them, though. We just learn how to cope. XD But, he wants this relationship to work just as much as I do. And hey, he's still sticking around, so I must be doing something right, right? XD
There really are no words that can explain just how much I care about this boyy. We've been friends a lot longer than I realized. I never really noticed when he was around though, because I was being blinded by my ex-boyfriend, whom I still cared for deeply. I knew I was just hurting myself by waiting for him, but I didn't want to admit it. Fred was one of the many people who tried to snap me out of it. I think he succeeded the most, though. I regret not noticing him more, and hanging out with him more.

Maybe if I just opened my eyes back then, things could of worked out better than they are now. But hey, the past is the past, right?
Gosh, I just keep on writing. Haha. =P Let's see, what else? Oh yeahh. This relationship is going to last for a LONG time. He's everything that a boy needs to date me and KEEP dating me. Patience, love, respect, humor, looks, style, creativeness. . .and a bunch of other stuff. It's just so overwhelming, how much he loves me. I can't handle it at times, because I've never been in a good, loving stable relationship before. He actually WANTS to see me everyday, and he actually makes the effort to. Before, I was so used to being ditched and forgotten. It feels amazing to have someone like him in my life. And I hope he stays in it, too. This one, I'm never letting go. And if I do, then that's when you'll know I have officially gone crazy. I'm not throwing what we have away. I'd rather die. You're too amazing for your own good, babe. And it frustrates the hell out of everyone because you're all I think about 24/7. xD
I'm not sure what else to write here. So I'll end with this. I love you, Fred. I really do love you to death, no matter what everyone else says. I'm so glad you came back from New York when you did. I even had the pleasure of hugging and jumping on you first. (: Because, if you had stayed there, if you had never come back. . .I wouldn't have you. Thank you so much for being in my life. Thank you for everything you've done for me. You will never know just how much I need you now. Don't let me go, and I promise to do the same. <3.

Baby, I'm not normal. But that doesn't mean I'm different. Because everyone is different. That's what makes us normal. XD Usually, I have a way with words, but since I can get very lazy, that will not be shown in something as simple as an About me on Myspace. XD I love reading, mostly because I love getting lost in the book. I love putting myself into it, and the huge range of emotions that you feel while reading it. I also love to write. I gave up on song writing a while ago, though; along with singing even though people tell me I have the potential to go somewhere with my voice? Oh well. So now I stick to writing stories and short poems. I can never go a day without a new idea popping into my head. And of course, I draw. Yes, I am an artist. My profession has always been photography, though. I need to work on my drawing skills. I'm getting there. (: I'm starting to do sculpture, too. I used to work with clay and pottery WAY back in elementary school, as well as in my free time. I'm glad to be getting back into it. I think that will be another expertise of mine. My favorite color is purple. I want to be a model. Badly. D; There's a lot of hidden talent behind me. I tend not to show it, though. As for why, I'm not quite sure yet. I plan on getting baby angel wings tattooed on my back. And my tongue pierced. <3 I tend to get emotional over things too easily. I cry a little too much. I wish I didn't, but it's something that I can't help. Believe me, I've tried. Recently, I've been keeping to myself more and more. Mainly because most of the people I let into my life, somehow end up fucking me over in the end. As of right now, it bothers me that people fucked up what we had; but at the same time not talking to a lot of people will help me let go easier when I leave High School. Because I can guarantee you. I will NOT see a quarter of those people again, and the bullshit High School brings will no longer be a problem for me. Honestly, we'll get along MUCH better if you're not from my school or city. I give up with the people here. And for the the handful of you in my city that feel the same way; that's why I still talk to you. XD If you live in New England, make sure to tell me. I love meeting people who live in my area. :D Making people laugh is something I love to do, purely because I can. I HAD a bad habit of putting people before myself, but that isn't really the case anymore. Until I can find friends that are worth my worry, I'll always worry about myself more. I'm currently a junior. And High School is a huge fucking cunt. The people, the work, the drama, the food. . .lol. I just can't stand it, and I'm looking forward to going to college and getting the hell out of this city. I need a change of scenery, yo. Photography has become quite a hobby for me. And not because it's become some weird 'cool scene fad.' Because it will help me with my career and get me a better spot to the art college I want to go to. My one true dream is to one day own a decent sized house, far away from neighbors in the middle of nowhere, with a wide field of sunflowers as my front yard. I want to be able to sit on my back porch and watch as my little children help their daddy feed our horses. All I'll need is my family, my pets, and my camera. Then I can truly die happy. I am not straight edge. I'm pretty far from it now. I always told myself I would never do drugs or never drink; but shit happens, and you can't be dull forever. :p Most of the time, I can be very ditsy, but not because I'm dumb, because I tend to be very slow and hyper. Haha. And I love being cute, though more than half of the time I don't do it on purpose. Making random noises is a passion of mine. (; In reality though, I am actually quite intelligent. The only person who I can't outwit is my boyfriend. We're pretty much evenly matched there. Random fact: I hate being dirty/sweaty. I love being clean. I can now kind of see why my friends say I'm like a cat. XD! If you're a good person, than we will get along. And if you decide to hate me, hate me for me, not for what you've heard, who my friends are, or for the person you think I am. I'm sick of ignorant, hypocritical, dumb fucking bastards who think they have a say in someone's life. You.Are.Not.A.Fucking.God. Mind your damn business and keep your mouth shut, and I'll do the same. Your not in control of my life, and you never will be. So back off, hoes. :D lol. But yeah, srsly. I pretty much do whatever I want, regardless of anyone's opinions. No regrets, baby. That's my motto. I have very bad mood swings sometimes, so yes, I guess you could say I'm a very emotional person. xP I swear, I think I have a split personality. And I can be the most self conscious person you will ever know. It comes with being a female, I suppose. I hate worrying about how I look, though. I wish I could just not care. But it will be a while before that happens. I'm a GUARDIE GIRL! lulz! I spin, I dance and I injure myself. But that's why Colorguard is so much fun. I have a horrible obsession with Marilyn Manson. He's my hero. :D <3 Andd, I'm a proud fucking wapanese. Anything Asian is love to mee. And that's all you need to know. For now. ;]
P.S. Most of the time, I am brutally honest, and I say what I feel. Mostly because I don't like sugar coating things.
Oh, and liars should burn. Just burn. There's no need to lie about anything, especially your own life.
♥