Genre:Parody / Explicit/Raw / Alternative
TV ShowsWhen I was about 8, I played one of the 3 sheperds in a Christmas play that was broadcast on local cable in Dearborn,Michigan. There I was, singing in falsetto...back when my weiner didn't do anything other than pee. Does that count guys? Guys? Hello?
FilmsThe Killing of Gregory Shmoranspecker...a Glockoma production from 1997. Anybody ever see it? I played a used car salesman named Mort Peevak, who met up with a fast crowd and got involved in a heinous crime. Oh, wait, sorry-that was bullshit.
BioYuppie-ization is storming the planet like a mental form of ebola.Oh how I’d like to see compulsory pot-smoking-like Bill Hicks said. That would be cool. I could get any fuckin’ job then, and there wouldn’t be any weirdos wanting to study my piss to give me one. Think about it- what kind of freak becomes a urine tester? " What do you want to be when you grow up Timmy? "A urine-tester Mrs. Shnorkleheimer." " Timmy needs help kids." I was once rejected for a job vaccuuming floors because I had weed in my system! How high do you have to be to be unable to vaccuum a fucking floor? You gotta be on one serious nod to be unable to vaccuum the floor kids! And then, to add insult to injury, they wanted me to sign some form that stated that there was thc in my sytem- for their files! So I wiped my ass with the son of a bitch and told them to analyze my shit while they were at it!!! Put that in your fuckin’ files you cocksuckers !!! If you’ve ever wondered what a show-down between Foghorn Leghorn and Joe Pesci would sound like check out my player.
InfluencesFrank Zappa, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Hunter S. Thompson,Jim Henson, Crazy Magazine
Joe has 100 friends.
- Jason Naughton
- Frank Zappa
- Clown Vomit
- The Residents
- The Bran Flakes
- Ms Monster
- Del Rubio Triplets
- Acid Mothers Temple
- Fabulous Furry Freak Br…
- Dot Stein
- Korla Pandit
- Jean Jacques Perrey
- Dead Elvis & His One Ma…
- The Official NORML
- The Evolution Control C…
About me:Before he founded the Church of Scientology, SCIENCE FICTION author L.Ron Hubbard once told a sci-fi crowd that the "quickest way to make a million dollars is to start a new religion"-then he went and did it! And no one ever picked him up on that shit !?! You'd think SOMEONE would have said, " Uh, Ron, I was at your little sci-fi soiree a couple of years back and you were saying..." WELL, He may be full of extraterrestrial horseshit,, but ya gotta hand it to the clever dead bastard!!! He's got Tom Cruise, John Travolta and even Issac Hayes among his stable of celebtity ponies for Ah Pook's sake! Which gives me a sinister little idea.. I could just mix up a veritable smorgasbord of pseudo-religious hokum, throw in a few references to E.T. and Critters , prey on the hopes and fears of the human race, and then just kick back and just watch those dollahs roll in!!! In fact, so could you! Let's start one together! We could claim that Molly Ringwald holds the keys to the Akashic records !!! Let's do it! The First Church of Mother Molly Ringwald - Interdimensional Space Kitten!
- Status: Single
- Here for: Networking, Friends
- Hometown: Dearborn, Michigan
- Orientation: Straight
- Body type: Slim / Slender
- Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
- Religion: Agnostic
- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
- Children: Someday
- Smoke / Drink: Yes / Yes
- Education: Some college
GeneralWater polo, backgammon and cattle mutilation. OK, I'm not really into water polo. Or backgammon. Anyhoo, I have a shop on cafe press, check it out at: http://www.cafepress.com/armageddonit
MusicNina Hagen, The Mothers Of Invention, Funkadelic, The Stooges, The Butthole Surfers, , Mike Patton, The Stranglers, Pere Ubu, Tomita, The Residents, Hasil Adkins, The Pogues, Robert Mitchum ( yes, the ac-tor ), Bjork, D.R.I., Moondog, 13 Th Floor Elevators, Wesley Willis, Slayer, Tuxedomoon, L.Shankar, MC5, The Frogs, Hans Reichel, Faith No More, Barnes and Barnes, Dead Kennedys, Captain Beefheart, Hank Williams III, Tiny Tim, Kreator, Eilert Pilarm, Apocalyptica, The Plasmatics, Ensemble Modern, Monster Magnet, Hawkwind, G.G. Allin ( hilarious comedian) Mahavishnu Orchestra, Sodom, Henry Cow, Death Angel, Syd Barrett, Ozzy, AfroCelt Sound System, William Shatner, Jimi Hendrix, The Misfits, Bon Scott-era AC/DC, Primus, Tom Waits, N.W.A., I could go on all night...
MoviesFreaks, It Conqured The World, Casablanca, Re-Animator, House of Horrors, Even Dwarves Started Small, Ghost Dog, The original King Kong, Robocop, Ed Wood, The Unholy Three, Carlito's Way, The Evil Dead trilogy, For A Few Dollars More, Mad Love ( with Peter Lorre ), Brain Dead, Troll, The World's Greatest Sinner, Angel Heart, Creature From The Black Lagoon, Meet The Feebles, No Country For Old Men, Gremlins, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, anything with Bela Lugosi, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre or Boris Karloff, no matter how shitty.Anything with Lon Chaney and anything by Todd Browning.
TelevisionThe Twilight Zone, The Simpsons, Father Ted, the original Saturday Night Live( with the coked-out John Belushi), Democracy Now and the BBC News. I really don't like TV very much, especially since they started with that reality tv shit. Reality TV makes me feel like the Apocalypse couldn't be too far away... Keep watching the skies for those giant flying locusts with human heads and the bleat of dreadful trumpets. If Simon Cowell weren't such a fag I'd say he was the Anti-Christ... But that would only make the prick happy anyway, so fuck that. And remember, as my dear old Dad always says, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!"
BooksI just read the craziest book I've ever encountered-The Wasp Factory. And people think I'm weird...Anyway, some other ones that have struck me were Naked Lunch, Ham on Rye, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, The Electic Kool-Aid Acid Test, Ringolevio, Wonderland Avenue, Sexus, Steal This Book, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Great Mambo Chicken And The Transhuman Condition, The Negative Dialectics Of Poodle Play, Acid Dreams, Storming Heaven: LSD And The American Dream, Borstal Boy and anything by Edward Bunker(R.I.P.).
HeroesBe your own fuckin' hero!