ancient steel warrior

i emailed you at the beermute email you still got that same email address right?

hey dood, how ya been? i missed your call cuz i was having babies and stuff. word on the street is you're thinking about coming to lynchburg...and that you got some sweet lord of the rings tattoos? you guys should have gotten a ride with naoma but i guess her truck probably couldnt support all of your muscles..

Hey there my littlte twist of madness. I wanted to give you the update if you care, which I know you do. OFF probation!!! Doc says Max will be out-of-belly before halloween. More like in a couple weeks. I was really hoping for a devils nite kid. Ah well, so it goes.... miss you lately. keep yer heart of steel babe.

heard "my boo" lately? that song makes me miss you hard. its actually on the radio a lot out here for some reason. get back at me...
***
i love you

balls, farts, and queefs,
shayla rae

hey.. did you hear some guys boston terrier ate his toe while he was passed out drunk...he didnt notice until he woke up and his big toe was gnawed off...but anyways how you been? im starting to worry those wizards may have caught you offguard and had their wizard way with you...lemme know your still alive and turbo hasnt gnawed your face off in your sleep...and if you are alive you best come visit sometime...im havin the baby in a month and a half...

Its been a little while babe. I am almost done with all this legal shit,...... and I am pregnant with a little soon- to-be metal loving boy. Any thoughts?

Laane, duuude. Yer slackin on keepin in touch.  Colin and Diana came to visit a few nights ago.  They're pregnant as fuck. 

You should walk yer ass to Portland to come and pay respects to yer O.G.'s.