Deborah Cavins

About me:

Finding the one that fits and accepting when one doesn’t. Deborah Cavins Look at your life and everyone else’s lives as a giant puzzle… lets say a 6 ½ billion piece puzzle (world population). Can you comprehend that number? Let me break it down for you, if each puzzle piece were ½ inch in size the puzzles size would not fit on the North American continent. So many pieces to choose from, so many variations and varieties, each have their true place but so many are similar in size and color and shape. Just the laws of averages will insure that some of those pieces would be identical, so the thought of there being only one soul mate is ridicules. Each piece is just as important as the other and each piece has its place. Just because one piece doesn’t fit next to you doesn’t mean that it is less a piece of the puzzle. Just like you finding out that a mate doesn’t really fit in your life doesn’t make them bad just the wrong choice. They will fit with someone else, and that is fine. Too many times we get so angry at the ones we date because they are not perfect that they have what we see as flaws, but it is not our place to judge or change those people. And no one should attempt to change you. You fit perfect in your spot. I spent a good portion of my life going through the puzzle pieces, seems like all 6 ½ billion. I would pick up a piece and set it in the empty spot “that one doesn’t fit= too controlling, that one doesn’t fit= to untrusting, this one is an alcoholic, that one doesn’t accept my children, he is not self motivated, and that one is not religious.” We can spend our whole life trying to fill that spot and in the end never settle or compromise and still be alone. While others settle and always wonder if they had only held out would they have met the one that fits instead of hammering in a square into a circles spot? The good news is most of us already can glance through the crowds and see automatically the ones not worth the time to pick up. Telling our selves what color, shape and size we are looking for, “I need an edge piece or one with a decent job”. And we are not the only one looking for our puzzle mate. They are looking for their spot to. I never look down on people willing to go to extremes either, by all means join a date line or spend a few dollars on a computer match agency at the very least it will give you some insight as to what you are really looking for. Psychics can also point you in the proper direction as far as what type of man best fits you and when you might get some opportunities to meet acceptable matches. Not to mention our co-workers and friends often can help you sort through the masses, and it isn’t like we spend every waking hour on this puzzle. Some times we rest, live our lives, create a purpose …. Or do a cross word. And really anyone that has ever done a jigsaw puzzle knows, yes the finishing of a puzzle has a sense of satisfaction but it is the hunt that makes it fun, or instead of a puzzle in a box they would buy a poster.