Genre:Stand-Up / Mainstream / As Seen on TV
TV ShowsNational Lampoon's Funny Money (ringer contestant) Magic 8-Ball (pilot) ESPN Mobile Commercial (Played a "Professional Cyclist" in the Sports Heaven Super Bowl spot)
FilmsA Machine Ripped his Leg Off: The Legend of Gaylord Dingler (it's almost done) Spanglish (didn't make the final cut)The Dish Washer Principle (played "Fantasy Husband" in a USC Thesis film. You can see the back of my head. I have a very nice head.)
AlbumsI still cherish my "Flash Gordon" soundtrack as done by Queen and my "Eye of the Tiger" 45 single is locked in a safe deposit box.
MembersI only have one and it used to swell every day during sophomore year biology class.
InfluencesAs a child I spent more time with Johnny Carson than my father if that says anything.
About me:In no particular order...once spent 18 hours in a chair not because I was really lazy but was just darn comfortable...once came home to a message on my answering machine from the late great wesley willis asking if he could crash on my couch...my first career choice was truck driver, somehow i ended up becoming a comedian...still have a fully functional baby tooth...while working as a lifeguard i ruled the high board as the 'bomb king' for two years...have a history of waking up in strange places...once drank a glass of tobassco sauce for $15 but had to spend nearly all the money on pepto-bismol...was stoned long enough during college to figure out that the smurfs were just a smaller, blue-er, version of the kkk...restored an old motorcycle with next to zero mechanical skills... in a strange twist of fate, i won a game show only to be the lowest winning winner in the entire run of the show...regardless, i have yet to lose a staring contest...was raised catholic and i have add, i hate it because i'm always forgetting why i should feel guilty...my first job was borderline slave labor working in a cornfield...i give directions using restaurants as landmarks...i never know how to spell restaurant correctly...got busted at the grove movie theater for trying to see a movie on a children's ticket...my first concert was metallica on the black album tour...sometimes i ride the bus just for fun...took a fishing class in college, sunk a boat during the final, and still managed to pass...in 4th grade i vomited on stage in the middle of jingle bells durning our school's holiday pageant...recently broke a finger while popping a piece of bubble wrap...also, I still have "Atari Thumb"...my least favorite genre of music is reggae...if my popcorn eating skills were rated on the Dungeons and Dragons scale I'd clock in at -17 dexterity...Regardless of being one of the worst dancers you've ever seen, I am the inventor of the "Wash, Rinse, and Repeat"...in the summer of '87 I was awarded the rank of seventh degree Yellow Belt by the American Taekwondo Association so you betta recognize...the other day I was told I have the eating habits of a raccoon...try figuring that out.
Who I'd like to meet:Pretty much anyone who can correctly answer this question: The best singer to ever front Van Halen was...?
- Status: In a Relationship
- Here for: Networking, Friends
- Hometown: Grand Island, Nebraska
- Orientation: Straight
- Body type: 6' 1" / Average
- Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
- Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
- Children: Undecided
- Smoke / Drink: No / Yes
- Education: College graduate
- Occupation: Gentleman of Leisure
GeneralNachos, Monkey Knife fights, sideboob, ultimate frisbee, tennis, dodgeball, general mischief and/or rabble rousing, riding bicycles, motorcycles, scamming THE MAN, going to movies/shows, Jumbo's Clown Room, House of Pies.
MusicThe Clash, Johnny Cash, Beck, Beastie Boys, Jimmy Smith, Kraftwerk, James Brown, Brave Combo, AC/DC, AC/DShe, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, KISS, Van Halen, NWA, Run DMC, Kid Quarkstar, The Ramones, Dead Kennedys, Frank Zappa, Jao Gilberto, Frank Sinatra, Nirvana, Medeski Martin and Wood, The Creepy Creeps, The Faint, Ruin The Ending, Waylon Jennings, Easy E, 50 Foot Wave, Supervillain, Van Stone, side G of Guns-N-Roses' Appetite for Destruction, Motorhead
MoviesTop Gun, Smokey and the Bandit, Jules and Jim, The 400 Blows, Les Mepris, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Bad Santa, Shaft, Royal Tennenbaums, Rushmore, Bottle Rocket, The Jerk, Airplane, Three Amigos, Commando, Bullitt, Breaking Away, Breakin' Too Electric Boogalo, The Bad News Bears, Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, Happy Gilmore, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, The Warriors, Roadhouse,
BooksLizard Music, Big Joe's Trailer Truck, Pure Drivel, The Monkeywrench Gang, Into Thin Air, Sacred Hoops, Live from New York, Shop Girl, The Corrections, The Big Book of Bunny Suicides, the Neiman Marcus Cookbook, Generation Kill, The Bad Guys Won, The Mouse and the Motorcycle,
HeroesEvel Knievel, Richard Pryor, Jam Master Jay, Jimmy Superfly Snuka and that little Japanese kid who always wins those eating contests. And my dear friend Stump.
University Of Nebraska At Lincoln
1994 to 1999
- Graduated: 1999
- Student status: Alumni
- Degree: Bachelor's Degree
- Major: Broadcasting
- Minor: English, Film Studies, History, Political Science
- Clubs: Cornfed! Nebraska Ultimate Intramural Kickball Student Government :)
Grand Island Senior High Sch
1991 to 1994
- Grand Island,Nebraska
- Graduated: 1994
- Student status: Alumni
- Clubs: Tennis Debate JDoA (Juvenille Delingquents of America) Natives (founding member) NHSMA (National High School Mascot Association)