Thomas

About me:

Me parents told me I was born in Wiesbadun, Germany in Novemba of 1970. My old geeza was wiv da Air Force and stationed in Crete. He lived there wiv my mom and their childrun fa mostest of da early 70's. Around about 1973, our crew returned to da States. My mom told me I threw up on da plane bang ova in da house. I went to elementary scool at Jefferson Scool in Winona fa kindergardun and 1st grade. Afta dat, we moved to Rollingstone, so I went to...have yous guessed it? Aye, I went to Rollingstone Elementary. My bestest movies from dat time was "Da Empire Strikes Back", "Raiders of da Lost Ark", "E.T.", "Star Wars", and "Unda da Rainbow". My bestest singers were All & Oates, Olivia in da John, and Michael Jackson (This was whun he was still a black geeza). I ave 4 younga siblings, 1 sista and 3 bruvers. All 3 of my bruvers ave big dongs. Whun I was 13, me mom cheated on me old man wiv a geeza named Fred. Dey were divorced soon afta and I moved to Winona to live wiv me old geeza fa a time and thun wiv my mom fa da chill of my igh scool days. My bestest movies of da mid 80's were "Back to da Future", "Eurapeein Vacation" and (don't laugh) "Pee Wee's Massiv Adventure". I did ave a papa route fa a couple years durin dis time. Afta igh scool, I attended Winona State and worked at Sammy's Pizza. At dis point, I still adn't gone on a date in my life. In da early 90's, I started to come around a bit. I found a steady wuman in da mid 90's and thun anotha one, a virgin (!), in 1996. I was married in 1998 in Illanoise. I've lived in da 3rd mostest populous turf in Minnesota fa more than 9 years now. Winona was aight fa its time, but it's ard to picture goin back there. Dey don't ave Wendy's, Friday's, or da Outback. Dey ave only 1 stadium-style movie screun. I do miss da Big Cheese from time to time, oweva, as well as penguin's Zesto. Da bluffs is wicked, too. Sometimes I ave dreams(nightmares?)about livin on da east side of turf wiv all da Polish people. Their ouses is so close togetha yous could stink someone's trumpet from da next ouse.