Richard Sayer

About me:

I'm a mix of a battering ram and a science geek. I am about half English, A quarter Lebanese and a quarter Mohawk Indian. Well I think it depends on who you ask.Generally I'm very laid back, only a few things/people can get me upset.I can be stable and then crazy. I guess most would call that emotional. I've been through alot lately and am feeling very empty, lost, and I wouldn't call it depressed but not much makes me smile these days. I was a Limo Driver for 3.5 years but have gone back to driving trucks and operating heavy equipment. I'm a musician and have a CD on CDBaby.com/thefeel . I'm single/divorced/jaded and have one 9 year old son and a 16 year old step daughter. Actually since I'm divorced from her mom she is my x-step daughter, but I'll never feel that she isn't my daughter She was 8 months old when I met her mom.. My Kids are at the top of the list, I love them very much but try not to shelter them. I was married for 10 years, bought a house,2 cars, worked constantly and devoted myself to my family. Then one day it was all gone. I'm not the same since. I've clawed my way out the dark hole with some special people inspiring me along the way. Basically after all these years and all these relationships I still feel lost.I've been told I'm Naive but, if you can't trust the ones you love who the hell can you trust? I guess you just keep going and hope that at some point you find the one that feels the same as you do and hope things don't change for the worse......right? All I hope for is to be happy, I'm easy to please and good at giving it back. I enjoy doing considerate stuff for the people close to me. I guess if that gets me taken advantage of, well, then it does. I really can't change who I am, Only the way I deal with what happens.And I've had plenty of practice at that. I'm trying not to stop believing in this word Love, but, everyday I find it more difficult to cling to this dream I've had even as a very young boy. That I would find you, fall in Love and actually grow old together, enjoying evryday as if it were our last. Pretty silly I guess but still, I've come so close, I can't give up. Whatever I have to go through I will gladly go through just to have a shot at this happening..... I know that everyone makes mistakes and I try not to judge anyone. I feel that when I do meet someone and think so much of them that I fall in love with them, That never goes away, even if that girl is gone. Maybe I'm different or others don't want to admit it. But really how can those feelings ever disappear? It's important to note,..I do not live in the past, I beleive in living in this moment, here and now!, but, It is also important to remember the journey, for it is this path that makes us who we are, lessons learned, and where we come from. for If you go back far enough, we are all related.I guess this could be a better world, If everyone could just see it.