About me:
It used to be that i felt wanted... missed... loved.
....i just don't have a desire for things like i used to.
....i don't look forward to talking with anyone.
....my spirit has taken more knocks than i ever thought it could handle and finally has broken yet again.
I'm tired of reaching out only to have my hand bitten.
Why talk when all i that i say is criticized.
"Sink or swim" i've been told in the past
-treading water as long as i have, one finally grows weary and succumbs to darkness and loss of air.
..and yes, rainbows are always worth the rain.
...but please, stop raining once in a while and just look forward to the beauty afterwards with me.
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Alright, i finally found a something to get me past the above feelings.... ;
I've got this lousy old bear. The only form of you I can hold in my arms. He's old & tattered. His bow is losing its shape. The original manufactured smell is gone. It's starting to smell like me. Yes it has been that long And no I haven't forgotten. I'm thinking about you, While I cry & shake. Squeezing out the remainder of your memory.
In some weird way i'm mourning. Not for the death of man, But for me. The last piece of me died off, When you jumped into that car, Closed the door, Had that last talk with me on the steps. You hammered in philosophy at the last moment, Hoping I'd learn from your mistakes. Don't act triumphant, Nor victorious. Because you are the loser of this situation. Missing out on my firsts, seconds, & thirds in life. You're missing out on me. Well what is actually left.
An ode to you. An ode to all of the times you've walked out of my life. Thinking that tomorrow I'll forget. & Have a different opinion than yesterday. Maybe that I'd support you after everything. We had a conversation the other day. A chat about you, your life, and your relationships. I barely spoke, For none of the talk was meant for an answer. I was quiet as can be, Half ignoring the chatterbox on the other line, & wondering if my opinion mattered.
i'm really sorry.. i just don't know what else to say.
I miss you, I miss you like I miss myself. Both are long gone, Left for the everlasting winter. Sweet & Cool Yet Dark & Dim. November 17th, 2003 The day we both walked away from the world. Slammed the door in the face of life. Watched ourselves turn into sweet, little nothings. I miss you more today than ever before.
Hey Bunny, I just bought you for $560. <br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'>Click here to find out what you can do with all your new cash!</a><br/><br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><img src='http://cdn1.slicezero.com/oyf_prod/images/ffs_money2_myspace.gif' border='0' /></a><br/>
Hey you! You should add this application to your myspace.. it's very cool and fun to own pets, I love it, it's very entertaining to watch people purchase me, and make me their pets, and then write messages about me hehe :) oxoxoxo Miss you and Joe says hi! Love, Heart<br /><br />
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**singing** There's a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step I take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. Waiting like a stalking butler who upon the finger rests. Murder now the path called "must we" just because the son has come. Jesus, won't you fucking whistle something but what's past and done? Jesus, won't you fucking whistle something but what's past and done?
Why can't we not be sober? I just want to start this over. Why can't we drink forever. I just want to start things over.
I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave, I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down.
Mother Mary won't you whisper something but what's past and done. Mother Mary won't you whisper something but what's past and done.
Why can't we not be sober? I just want to start this over. Why can't we sleep forever. I just want to start things over.
