I have always been drawn to artists. I myself enjoy painting every now and again, doing some photoshop, once in a while snapping a picture with my old traditional 35 mm camera, and above all sewing costumes. I like to escape from my life, usually by wandeing as far away from home as I can afford on any particular weekend and stumbling back just in time for work and the real world to shock me with its familiarity. In the idea world I would be a wandering gypsy of sorts, travel around, engage myself in conversations interesting and enticing people along the way, and come home to safety for a few months out of the year.
As far as how I spend my free time, I like riding around on my bike, cooking tofu and other such vegitarian delights, catching up with friends that I never seem to see often enough, being naked in any and all places where it is permitted (including but not limited to Zen Dom's jacuzzi, most after parties, and of course at home), being naked in many places where it is not necessarily permitted or reccomended but I think I can get away with it. I love camping but I barely ever get to go. I like waking up in both unexpected places and familiar surroundings, in the company of strangers or loved one's. I like pole dancing although I am mediocer at best. Escape as I may I always find my way home to David, S&M, Los Angeles, goth boys, beautiful woman, nude photography, and debauchery.
WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET:
People willing to go on the Roller-coaster of Life, who don't crave normalcy, and wont turn me away when they realize I partake in 'questionable' activities. People who don't intend to grow out of who they are and conform, but give in to having some stability such as working and supporting themselves. People who actively pursue becoming more self aware even if it sometimes means shooting yourself in the foot, and know that in the quest of life we are often led astray from where we will end up, but that that is all part of it. Embrace it if you can :-)
Music
I must admit I know little or nothing about music, other than that I am most inclined to listen to gothic rock, industrial music, EBM, alternative 80's, deathrock, and other types of music that seem predictable when I list them off. I also like belly dancing music, some trip hop, some techno, and most anything I can dance or strip to. My favorite CD ever was made for me by my pal Spatulance and seems the perfect soundtrack to a night in bed with someone. It's like a rollercoaster of lustful emotions, starting off sweet and sensual, picking up the pace until it climaxes with heavy bass and then trailing off with lyrics so deep and slow they almost make you cry.
(that's the off button?
Movies
Recently watched 'Wrist Cutters: A Love Story', and that made me laugh. All the suicidal people go to an afterlife together that is like real life, but a little bit worse. They are unable to smile and so when they feel the need to do so they push up the corners of their mouth's using their fingers......
Television
Sometimes TV consumes people and they become trash TV. God or the tabloids save your soul.
Photo by Aaron Hawks One bad ass mother fucker.
Books
I have been reading a lot of hippie self help books lately. In order to remind myself that happiness is easily attainable and far more pleasant than the alternatives.
Here's something I wrote a while back that I still identify strongly with :-)
I get a lot of inquiries about my scars. I proudly display them and flaunt the name, so it is no wonder people are curious. Here is an explanation, for everyone who was wondering but thought they would offend me by asking :-)
All of my scars are self inflicted. When I was younger I was the epitome of troubled youth, very unhappy and very manic-depressive. I took any pain I had in my life out on myself. By the time I was thirteen, I was cutting myself, not to the degree of scarring but mostly for the physical sensation. It is a distraction, you see. When I was in pain or bleeding, I never thought about what I was really feeling emotionally.
Long story short, I eventually got through this stage in my life. It took a lot of self realization though, and a lot of internal struggling. It was habit to hurt myself after so many years of doing it. One day after I had hit rock bottom. I had started using drugs more than recreationally and was cutting myself deep enough that I had scars up and down my thighs and on my left arm. I noticed that children and dogs on the street would avoid me. My family was scared of me, not in the way that they didn’t still visit with me, but in the way where they didn’t know who I was anymore. My friends didn’t even bother to call.
My world had become one in which I was isolated from anything beautiful because I had surrounded myself with ugliness. Seriously, though, the animals and the children were what snapped me out of it. My whole life I had always been able to get a smile out of a child and dogs would walk right up to me to be pet. All of the sudden I was projecting such negative energy that both shunned me. It may sound trivial, but that is what made me change myself.
I sobered up with the help of my mom and my friend Sal. I stopped cutting myself. It was a decision, not a coincidence. It was hard to do but not as much of a struggle as a new state of mind. I decided that I wanted to be a more positive person, that I wanted to bring people happiness.
Now I am rarely unhappy. I get frusterated and discouraged by life, of course, but I remain positive and realize that everything is temporary, and the bad times will pass. I wake up often and think how lucky I am to have all the beautiful friends I have, a well paying job and the opportunity to travel sometimes. I honestly believe that I am luckier than most people on the planet.
So, to everyone who wants to know if I am promoting self mutilation or glamourizing pain, the answer is no. I think everyone goes through a time in their life when they struggle with depression, mine just happens to be displayed physically. My scars are a reminder that I can get through anything. I am not trying to encourage anyone to hurt themselves, quite the contrary. I got through the shitty part of my life and came out a positive, happy person in the end, and I hope anyone out there struggling with depression problems will see that and have hope that they can do the same. It may sound cheesy but I am half hippie and half goth, and the hippie side of me says a positive outlook can make a huge difference.
ALSO HABERDASHERY!!!!
......new EtsyNameSpace.Mini(6851718,
Who I'd like to meet: God.
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I misssss you! Let's catch up! I'm so happy that you are doing well! I miss your face! Eating ice cream and riding bikes. Let's make a phone date soon! And let me know when your in SD! XOXO!!! Or I can visit! And we can have a pajama party and build forts!!! Xoxo!!!!
hey, sorry if i hit you up earlier, but HAPPY HUMP DAY!! I'm performing tomorrow night at the PALMS IN WEST HOLLYWOOD! take care, best wishes - classic
. A Flyby To Wish you and yours A Delightful, Decadent and Safe Holiday Season .. I Hope The New Year Rings In Good Health and Good Fortune, For you As Well ..
You inspire me to model no matter how many cigarette burns I have check out my latest pictures i'm the garbage bag princess comments always returned ~thnx cutie xo
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