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We have gone Intertrashanal, baby, on that World Double Wide Web:

Who the hell am I?

I'm that man that you hear comin' up behind you at the Spin In. You hear my big black boots dragging the ground as I come up to the check out. You only turn your head half way, so you can get a look at me out of the corner of your eye. I smell like the junk yard, and it looks like I have 20 years of grease under my nail and on my jeans. My car is pulled at the font door, blocking the entrance. My two boys, Sid and Cash, are fighting and screaming in the back set. My wife is hanging out the window hitting the horn, yelling fer me to hurry my ass up, and not to forget the Dr. Pepper. As your walking away, after you pay $75 to fill up your SUV's tank, I slide my six pack of Lone Star over to the clerk. When your fight to walk around my car, you can help not to stare at my baby girl. Praying in your head I don't see 'ya. Yeah, I see 'ya, I don't mind if you look. I know all to well that she is built to please. And I know she would slice you up with her razor before she'd ever looks at you twice... Yes, I am that man. That man that scares you every time my car pulls up behind you at a red light. The man that makes you hurry up your wife and kids from the table to the door when I blow into Micky D's with Cash and Sid cussin' and kicking... and my wife looking very, very mean. I am the man you let though the door first, and say "No, you first!" You want to know who in the hell am I? I'm the father to Sid and Cash-Hasil, (And yes, that is their real names), and Daddy to the woman of your wet dreams... That's who the fuck I am....