The Alkaholiks, Merle Haggard, Hank Williams Sr., Leadbelly
Movies
I saw this documentary called “Murderball” once, about crippled freaks who played some fake sport in their wheelchairs. Man, what a load of shit! Handicapped cripples… DOING something!? YEAH RIGHT! I enjoy science fiction, though, so I watched it.
I also enjoyed "As Good As It Gets." I'd like to stuff my rage rod in Helen Hunt's semen socket right in front of her cancer kid. Oh, and I’m no homophobe, but I will forever associate Greg Kinnear with homosexuals since he portrayed one of them in “As Good As It Gets.” I will also assume that he is a queer.
My favorite movie of all times:
1] The Lost Weekend
2] Leaving Las Vegas
3] Days of Wine and Roses
4] Barfly
5] Factotum
Television
MotherFUCK "Sesame Street," and everyone on it. I wasn't drunk and I DIDN'T smell of booze, so *fuck* Children's Television Workshop. They had NO FUCKING RIGHT to throw me out of that audition.
Books
"An Uncommon Drunk: Revelations of a High-Functioning Alcoholic" by Jeff Herten, "Notes of a Dirty Old Man" by Charles Bukowski, "Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood" by Koren Zailckas, "Factotum" by Charles Bukowski, etc.
Heroes
My biggest hero is Punch, from "Punch and Judy" fame. He's basically the king of all puppets.
Other than that, I've gotta go with Charles Bukowski (the greatest drunk author of all time), Ernest Hemingway ("Sometimes I wish I’d went through those good times stone cold sober so I could remember everything, but then again, if I had been sober the times probably wouldn’t have been worth remembering"), John Barrymore ("...in 40 years he consumed 640 barrels of hard liquor"), Dylan Thomas ("I've had 18 straight whiskies. I think that's the record"), Edgar Allen Poe ("Poe's passion for strong drink was as marked and as peculiar as that for cards . . . without a sip or a smack of the mouth he would seize a full glass and send it home at a single gulp"), and many others.
Henry The Alcoholic Critic's Details
Status:
Divorced
Here for:
Serious Relationships, Friends
Orientation:
Straight
Hometown:
Born in Milwaukee, WI, but living in Concord, CA
Body type:
2' 7" / Average
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Zodiac Sign:
Sagittarius
Smoke / Drink:
Yes / Yes
Children:
Proud parent
Education:
High school
Occupation:
Retired
Income:
Less than $30,000
Henry The Alcoholic Critic loves booze, the great remover of morals Posted at 10:21 PM Jan 8, 2008 view more
About me: I get drunk. Oh, and I review movies. In that order.
I also like fucking prostitutes because they never say no. Or anything, for that matter, if I’ve tied the rope properly.
Who I'd like to meet: The fat kid from "Bad Santa." When he finally dies of either an early heart attack or an overdose, I will cry for America. Because we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves. I will also laugh, though, because the kid from “Bad Santa” was FAT! Good riddance, FATTY! More food for the rest of us!
I would also like to meet Paula Poundstone. Or meet her AGAIN, I should say. If anyone who is reading this knows Paula Poundstone personally, let her know I’m gonna smash her in her butch jaw the next time I see her. I know what she did, and so does my daughter.
I'd also like to meet Renée Zellweger, so I could drug her and force-feed her a lemon. See, if Rene Zellweger ever ate a lemon, I think her inverted face would cause a black hole that would suck the entire universe inside of it. I'm not sure why I want to do this, but I fucking do.
Henry The Alcoholic Critic's Friend Space (Top 24)
TWO Horror Drunx Events THIS WEEK!!! (Support your Horror community, please repost)
MARCH 27, 2009 (Friday at Midnight!): Master of Horror SID TERROR is back on his own night with a completely different "TERRORAILER SHOW: PART 2". Anyone who was at the last one of these trailer shows will tell you it is one of the best times they ever had at Midnight Mass in a movie theater! Don't miss this one!
MARCH 29, 2009 (SUNDAY): THE HORROR DRUNX have teamed up with Brutal Cinema, Grindhouse Releasing, and The Steve Allen Theater to present a special screening of Luchio Fulchi's CAT IN THE BRAIN for its West-Coast premiere in Los Angeles! Also showing as part of this double feature is the 1980's gorefest PIECES! Then to top off the evening a live performance of Black Metal band DIABOLOS on stage! Also look for the store MAD LOVE to be at dealers tables selling Horror Drunx merch, movie memorabilia and other great Horror goodies. THE STEVE ALLEN THEATER, 4773 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA. 90027. Admission $5. 00 / Doors open at 6:30pm
Hey you old alcoholic you, I just wanted to stop by and show you some Love and to wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you get everything you want and MORE!
Hey happy birthday!!!!!!!!! just wanted to let you know that since it's your special week I can let you and all your friends (if they say they are with you) into the club for free this tuesday! we are having the vinyl tribe spin so it should be an awesome night. let me know, we are right here in newport beach.... here is the website if you need more info
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Hi my new friend. How is your day going? Thanks for visiting my site! 08.08. 08 was a BIG day, my debut CD – journey back was released and received great reviews, so be sure to pick up a copy!
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