Photo of Evil Mike

Evil Mike

www.myspace.com/alcortz

Harmful if swallowed

View My:

  • Evil Mike

  • 29 / Male
  • FORT BRAGG, North Carolina, US
  • Last Login: 12/24/2009

295004782|29|11111|http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/55/m_309f97282de5c8f12727b2ced0c380fa.jpg

Music Player

Get Flash now!

In order to listen or view this content you will have to upgrade your version of Flash.

Interests

  • General

    "talk about bad habits, shit I got plenty: nicotine, weed, beer, shootin' pool, playin' cards... mushrooms, pills, strange pussy, fast cars"

    Aside from quoting songs, my interests include: hot girls in shitty cars, shitty girls in hot cars, mental challenges, midgets, mullets, promiscuous women with unhealthy addictions, perfecting my own unhealthy addictions, people watching, grammar, reading, writing, shitty poetry, shitty women, shitty poetry about shitty women, and other interesting things.

  • Music

    ..

  • Movies

    Fight Club, Snatch, 25th Hour, Borat, Trainspotting, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Braveheart, 300, Boondock Saints, Tombstone, anything Will Ferrell or the Wilson brothers... as long as something is getting blown up, someone is getting pWnd mentally, or I'm laughing my ass off, we're good...

  • Television

    Television is a succubus... but I love Family Guy.

  • Books

    Palahniuk, Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson, and Maddox

  • Heroes

    My family, especially my mommy

Details

  • Status: Single
  • Hometown: Lytle, TX
  • Height: 6' 3"
  • Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Schools

  • Lytle H S

    • Lytle, TX
    • Graduated: 1999
    • Student status: Alumni
    • Degree: High School Diploma
    1995 to 1999

Blurbs

About me:

I'm really bad at this sort of thing. You see, text on profiles matters very little to people as they scroll through them. Everyone's looking for a pretty face. You've already made up your mind if I'm "worth" talking to, right? So what difference does it make how I present myself here?

I think too much about trivial things (as evidenced above). I'm obsessed with music. I can freely admit that I'd go gay for Jim Morrison or James Maynard Keenan. I used to think I could write, but now I read it and think "how fucking stupid". I have a potty mouth. I drink too much. I smoke too much. I'm too nice to the wrong people and too mean to the right ones. I have good intentions with just about everything I do, yet I always manage to fuck things up and hurt someone's feelings.

I live to disappoint.

Who I'd like to meet:

I'll take one of these for myself. Thanks!

katvond

Kat Von D


...The ever-growing list of things I hate/dislike...


* If you fail at the English language, we can't be friends.

* If you have sTiCkY cAps, please die.

* If you think there is truth and deep understanding and enlightenment to be found on a cereal box, an episode of The Hills, or The OC, please drink bleach and super glue your privates to your hand (females too). I don't want you fucking up my gene pool.

* If you use emoticons, or the phrase "LOL" ever, we can't be friends.

* If your text messages are only decipherable to other web junkies, or geeks (L33T! pWnd) stop being a lazy prick and just spell the whole word out instead of trying to look cool and/or save time. You'll feel better about yourself.

* Capitalization is your friend. I used to forgo capitalizing everything, but then I decided that I didn't want a future career in concrete mixing, so I started exercising my pinkies. They thank me, and so should you.

* If you pass along, open, or read any chain letter e-mails, I pity you. If you forward them to anyone else, you anger me. If you forward them to me, I KEEL YOU!

* If you listen to shitty music because you don't know it's shitty, you can't be my friend. If you listen to shitty music because you know it's shitty, you are awesome.

* If you can't get down with my hypocrisy and double-standards, go play chicken with a train.

* I have a severe resentment toward loose change of all denominations.

* If you are a police officer in a small town, you automatically suck and have an inferiority complex. Don't ask how I know, just set it in stone.

* No need in applying here if you're looking for Army benefits. I hate the Army and I have no benefits. Slut.

* If you say something edgy or offensive, and then cop-out by laughing about it like it's a joke, I basically hate you. Poser.

* If you don't know the difference between "they're", "their" and "there", or "you're" and "your", we'll never be friends.

* Excuses - I hate 'em.

* People mourning the death of every "celebrity" that dies. Fuck them and fuck you.

* I hate the word "inappropriate". (for personal reasons)

* Cheating and lying don't interest me. If they interest you, you should seek ween elsewhere.

* Small, yappy, novelty, accessory dogs. Hate. Hate. Hate.

* Trends stemming from celebrities, including but not limited to: color-coordinated band-aid under your eye, trucker hats, aforementioned yappy dogs, Ed Hardy shirts, Beyonce, the French... etc.

** more to come **


Say something pretty on my fridge