S I M - W I S E

About me:

HELLO. MY NAME IS SIM-WISE.

I AM A GAMER WRITER TELLY PRESENTER RADIO PERSON... YUSSS! (THAT IS QUITE A MOUTHFUL, SO YOU CAN JUST CALL ME 'BOB' IF YOU WANT).

I HAVE A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN NERD:

I REVIEW GAMES BECAUSE I LOVE THEM MORE THAN THIS MAN:

THANK GOD FOR YOU LOT THAT I ONLY LOOK LIKE HIM ON SATURDAYS.

ON WEDNESDAYS I LOOK LIKE THIS:

I HAVE HAD THIS PAGE SINCE 1802, BACK WHEN MYSPACE WAS HIP. I RUN IT MYSELF AND DO NOT EMPLOY CHILDREN, ROBOTS, OR MAGDA TO DO IT FOR ME...

...SO SAY HELLO.

FIRST STEP IN UNDERSTANDING ME IS THAT I'M BASICALLY A 13 YEAR-OLD BOY WITH BREASTS.

MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL.

THIS IS ME NORMAL:

THIS IS ME TRYING TO LOOK COOL:

THIS IS ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER:

I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER I GOT BULLIED OR NOT.

THIS IS ME IN A BIN:

THERE ARE MANY PICTURES OF ME IN BINS, BUT THAT IS THE BEST ONE FOR NOW.

OR IS IT?

MY CURRENT INTERESTS INCLUDE:

PARTYING WHILST PREGNANT.

DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE.

AND DRAWING ZOMBIES WITH MS PAINT.

I'M EASILY BORED.

I AM SHIT HOT AT HOOPLA:

I LOVE DOGS ON SKATEBOARDS MORE THAN I SHOULD.