The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." George Carlin
Female
40 years old
Stirlingshire, Scotland
United Kingdom
I write comedy. Just comedy. You know..things that make people laugh or say something like "Christ is she trying to write comedy? God, get the big brick and put me out of my misery." I just like to help people feel good about themselves by looking at how tragically I've turned out. The usual.
Music
The Asylum Street Spankers, Beat Farmers, The Blasters, American Music Club, Bonzo Dog, Vince Guaraldi, Cab Calloway, Louis Jordan, Clark Terry, Sarah Vaughn, Billy Holliday, Kurt Elling, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Prima, Keely Smith, Stan Kenton, Roy Milton, George Formby, Laverne Butler, The Ray Ellington Quartet, Chet Baker, ..and rockabilly including Sid King and the Five Strings, Bill Haley and the Comets, Gene Vincent, Elvis Presley, old Johhny Cash, Carl Perkins, the Collins Kids, Jerry Lee Lewis, Stray Cats, Reverend Horton Heat, Deke Dickerson, Sha Na Na....no, you shut up... etc.. and western swing (Spade Cooley, Milton Brown and his Brownies, Bob Wills, Hank Penny, Light Crust Doughboys, Modern Mountaineers, Tennesse Ernie Ford, Cliff Bruner and Pee Wee King). Some of my favourite classical music composers are Beethoven, Brahms, the Rach III, Mozart, St. Saints, Bach (especially Dreamers Awake), Vivaldi, Strauss, Handel, ...and why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because he was Haydn.
Movies
Any Woody Allen films, any Mel Brooks films, all Tim Burton films, Goodbye Mr. Chips (I cry like a lost kitten at the ending every time), Das Boot, Life With Father (anything with William Powell...egads!), Toto Le Hero, Wizard of Oz, most animated old Disney films (pre 1970), Four Seasons, Annie Hall, All About Eve, "Hellbou" ;O) (and quite a few other good movies based on comics...so definitely not 'Hulk'...), most Shirley Temple films, Delicatessen, To Kill A Mockingbird (and Gregory Peck), Harvey, Ken Burn's Civil War series, Adam's Rib, Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Buster Keaton and most Hitchcock films.
Television
I like my television shows to be as retro as possible: Leave it to Beaver, I Love Lucy, Bewitched, I Dream of Genie, My Three Sons, The Munsters, The Andy Griffith Show, ....or as British as possible: Father Ted, Bob and Margaret, Monty Python, Little Britain, etc.
Books
Lots of Bill Bryson, Garrison Keillor, Douglas Adams, Dave Barry, very old Montgomery Ward Catalogs (1895 to the 40's), Laura Ingalls Wilder, David Sedaris, James Lileks, Sinclair Lewis, Art Spiegelman, Charles Bukowski, John Irving, Stephen Fry, Agatha Christie, originals and variations on old folks tales, Tom Robbins (especially Still Life with the Woodpecker) and Pablo Neruda.
Heroes
Everyone that's ever encouraged me, cuddled me, wiped my tears, held my hand and motivated me via a kick up the backside when I've needed it. You are precious dear dear dear to me. I hope that every day that you make my day better, I make yours better too. I'm lucky that I'm surrounded by such fabulous kind people. I feel very fortunate to know you all. Love and my deepest respect to you all. :O) x x x
I like cake, my lovely little boys, the sun on my back and people that are kind. People that are nice. I'm sure that you know some, nice and kind people. Those kind of folks. I like to hang out with them there kind of people. And it helps to be happy. It's not a requirement though, especially if you've recently lost a pet or slammed your hand in a car door. That's a shame really. Watch what you're doing next time. Same applies for the pet. They may be wandering around the back garden looking for you. Perhaps the back door was left open? You need to watch for things like that. Anything else is just being irresponsible. They rely on you to look out for them. What? Old age? Yeah right. Now pull the other one.
Style. Class. Pazzazz. That 'certain something'. Chicka chicka. Chitty chitty bang bang. The feminine touch..i.e., I'll breeze into your life, make everything colours and textures, put a pillow on every piece of furniture, cook fabulous food, listen to the radio just a little too loudly, laugh at everything, hug everyone, kiss the babies and leave in a cloud of perfume and freshly brewed coffee. You'll probably need a nap afterward. You'll look around your house for a while, in deep contemplation. You'll half heartedly look around, hoping that I forgot my jacket. You'll kick yourself for not asking me to stay a bit longer.
Who I'd like to meet:
I am a big fan of the writing and philosophy of Douglas Adams. His personality and thoughts mold my distinct view of the world. I think that he explains basic evolutionary concepts in a simple and humourous way that invites people into the discussion of why this wonderful world is here. I have a huge list of authors and comedians that I would love to meet someday. Whether or not they would like the same thing remains to be seen.
Just like my Nia, poor bugger ;-) At least she knows the horrors in store for her from an early age! Yeah, not so bad here thanks, ups and downs as ever but thankfully more of the ups. How about you? x
"Ticklin' The Strings" by Sweet Hollywaiians
Amazing Japanese hot string band playing 1920's, 30's, 40's style hawaiian, swing, calypso, blues, italian music and originals,featuring vintage instruments.3 songs with Robert Armstrong and Tony Marcus(from Robert Crumb and His Cheap Suit Serenaders)
"The Sweet Hollywaiians have probably the best feel for this 20's music of any string band working today. They manage the rare feat of sounding relaxed even when their playing is hot, are top notch musicians with tasteful arrangements and a full, rich, warm sound.Plus, they have a nice gamut of tunes, from King Nawahi to Giovanni Vicari to Bobby Leecan. See them live, if you can, for an unforgettable experience. If you can't, buy their Cds!" ~ Terry Zwigoff
Hi, I sent you a comment the other day but it seems like you've not replied. Sorry if I gave you hump by vanishing for so long... I've been grieving over my collapsed engagement for the last 8 months and still find things terribly difficult to cope with. Hope you're ok. I take it that you live in Wee Bonnie Scotland? I've not been to Stirling, but I know Glasgow VERY well, as my ex-fiancee lives near Kelvinbridge and I was practically living there for 9 months.
Hi, oh Disappointed One... what ails you with these inferiors? Frick on a stick sounds as bad as soap on a rope, and probably isn't even as useful. I myself am beyond miserable these days, having given up everything now. I no longer do shows or even practice my music or juggling stuff anymore. I drift from day to day, pretending to be happy, putting on my 'cardboard smile' for all and sundry, but feeling like the total fake I really am. Fake on a cake.
I would like to complain about your advert clearly stating that I could 'Beat The Heat With Fizzles'.
I have tried these tablets on several occasions but unfortunately the police still catch me and lock me safely back in the cupboard under the hard stares.
On the other hand the missile base looks a most commendable device and should enable me to ransom the western hemisphere (as long as I remember to place a magnifying glass in front of my box brownie when I send them a photo of it)...
By the wayne, is the chappie playing so gleefully with it the infant George Bush?
Cinnamon rolls. Are they anything like the tiny cakes that Mrs Doyle used to make? Also, if you turned them round, would that be an example of roll-reversal?
Thank you, thank you! I have missed talking to you. Its been a while. Things have been hectic finding a place to live, getting passed for the credit check, etc... MOVING...!!! Wow, its been a long journey. Finally things are starting to come together. Also the wedding planning has taken up a lot of time. I think I found THE DRESS. I'm so excited. It's absolutely gorgeous. Almost all lace. Very timeless. I can't wait to show you pictures. How are the boys? And the man? :0) I hope all is well. Let me know of any exciting events that are happening/have happened since we last caught up. *cuddle* xoxo Ashley
