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  • Casting Cries

    As I prepare for the production of my own music video, I recall casting for a show written and directed by my friend, Lance Alan, at the Zeitgeist in Detroit.  What a friggin' nightmare.  Truly, the event was nothing like I'm experiencing now, but finding just the right non-union talent couldn't have been more frustrating.  Surprisingly, very few actors showed up.  With all of the unemployed actors around, I find it odd that so few are actually looking.  This juicy role couldn't have been better to highlight someone.  

    Now, I have another juicy role in my music video, "Nevermind Me",  which will feature me and one other actor in a passionate, tormented love affair.  Who WOULDN'T want that?  Well, we found a dark, good looking guy who was too cool for school and I hoped we'd nailed it except for one thing.  He couldn't really Tango and we needed a TANGO.  We tried working with him and me for that matter.  After one meeting to choreograph the dance, the prospect of shooting that weekend vanished.  We then met two more times, still with not much grace and power.  In fact, we'd lost footage of the only piece of choreography that I couldn't remember so I had to create something new during one rehearsal. 

    Sadly, we pushed the dates back again in order to ensure all of our necessary players were there.  The cinematographer and makeup artist were in.  Only one key player was out.  My actor.  The time had come to replace my luscious leading man.  Now it was time to find a dancer.  Apparently, my director usually gets work that comes to him from groups already assembled so he hadn't pursued a dancer through the normal channels.  I'm not sure how he searched, actually.  This time, I decided to ask our friend, Danish, who'd been helping out with certain steps.  He seemed like a logical connection to dancers.  We also asked my director's partner who values a connection so there was a second obvious choice,  Personally, I thought we'd have more success if we tried the casting bulletins.  

    Unfortunately, after buying a very large and mostly unusable wardrobe, I didn't have the dough to advertise so I used the only one that was free - www.mandy.com .  You get one free posting a month.  I didn't pay for priority placement so I don't really know what my viewer ration may have been, but I received submissions from anything but a leading man type.  Several didn't even demonstrate dance skills!  

    Here's how the ad read - 

    "Director: Joe Lam. Need brooding, moody tango dancer to play drug addicted, romantic lead of singer. Done film noir style. Must be comfortable with implied nudity, simulated drug use, kissing scenes. You will be the only actor other than the singer so this is a GREAT chance to be seen! There is pay for each day and food on rehearsal dates.

    Ballroom experience. Prefer dark and handsome with a past in his eyes. Should be trim and roughly between 5'8' and 5'11'."

    The only submission I received with ballroom experience was 6'1" with a beard to his chest.  Among my other favorites were a 5'6" Chinese guy and an All-American quarterback type, neither of whom listed any dance experience.  I'm mortified and deeply concerned that when I send over my headshot and resume that some CD is thinking, "Is this girl insane?  She clearly can't read!"  

    Obviously, my video's been pushed back.  We're expecting to shoot in September.  The producers most definitely better put out a call on the professional sites that I receive my audition notices from or I'm going to end up dancing with Kermit the Frog.  And not the real muppet, but an over-the-counter, unanimated stuffed version of him.
    7:47 PM

  • Drunk and Homeless

    Sometimes submitting and auditioning whoops me. As I've turned my attention to raising money to make my music video, I have even less motivation to jump through Hollywood's hoops. Moreover, I've received some copy to edit a reel, but these videos seems to be locked so I can't put my little montage together. Now that I want to seek out higher paying work, I need that montage to submit to casting agents who do more scrutiny than a headshot glance and, occasionally a resume perusal. Fortunately, when I returned from Jersey, I was hit up to be a deranged, homicidal homeless woman in a webisode-to-turn feature without having to audition. The role was merely a background shot, but I was also offered the role of a teacher with lines. Unfortunately, I received both parts, wires crossed, and I chose to stay with the homeless lady not knowing her true fate. Luckily, sticking it out to the end provided me with heavy face time in the end. That face was a frightening one. I tried to look as though my jaw was dislocated and glared with insanity at the lead character so I won't likely be booking the lovely mom-next-door roles in those high-paying commercials, but I had fun. I also booked another job from that day through the camera man who was ready to have me work in a guerilla-style taping that week mocking bankers. Right up my alley. I looked at his work and questioned his motives. Uncertain of the humor, I asked if he'd have another role for me. He may have possibly lost interest because of my inquiries, but I didn't have Internet for some time to try to refresh our relationship. Now that my satellite service is providing me some sluggish access, I'm hoping to try again with the camera man. (An aside; DirectTV sucks it and has this extremely ridiculous practice of Fair Access Use that I wouldn't wish on anyone. You basically pay them to NOT give you service.) Even more exciting is that a few days later I was booked to work in a Japanese film without auditioning. That's supposed to take place this Friday, but I'm waiting impatiently on the details. The main detail is that for a hundred bucks I'll be improv'ing as a drunken wife for about two hours. Again, it's no national commercial, but I like getting paid. In Hollywood, it's pretty obvious how the path leads you to begging on the boulevard where you see once-pretty people begging for a quarter. If all I get in my life is drunken homeless roles through which I can really push the envelope, I'll be content, so long as I don't end up a drunken homeless woman who has to pick through garbage envelopes for money. Them's are the breaks, kid. NOT the break I'm looking for.
    1:21 AM

  • I Must Be Crazy (Act I)

    I met another actor while doing some promo work.  Well, where else are you going to meet actors?  On set?  Psshh.  He said he'd done three indie films in Tucson and decided to come to LA.  He said, "There's no better work, if you can get it."  I noticed, of course, he didn't seem to like working much at all and rarely did anything until he was expressly told.  Maybe that's a good thing for directors.  I don't know.  I thought he might not survive here, but I could be wrong.  

    Perhaps he was sick or feeling blue.   Perhaps he doesn't do well in the heat.  He seemed to me to be really actory already living the dream of having people cater to him.  Sure, acting can be easy and, usually fun, but I don't really get the attitude.  I met a seasoned, and apparently, heavily credited actor on some webisodes I was working on a while back.  I couldn't tell you who he was from any wannabe on the street, but he definitely carried himself like he knew better.  He knew better than the humble crew, knew better than the other actors, and even knew better than the director and producers.  Apparently he didn't know enough to turn down what he clearly saw to be a two-bit operation.  Yet everybody paved the way for him. They all seemed so grateful for him to be there.  Except the art department.  Apparently the woman dressing the set didn't have lavender plugs up her nose and could totally smell his bull. 

    Maybe that works.  Maybe that's what I'm missing - a crappy attitude.  God knows I can have one.  Some of you reading this are probably thinking that right now.  In fact, last week when I went to the set for the Japanese film, my inner diva came out for about five minutes.  I was told to wait to be picked up in front of a hotel right in the thick of Hollywood.  Every time I saw a Japanese man I thought, "Oh, this must be my ride."  I forgot that the Japanese love Hollywood.  And Disneyland.  Needless to say, over half of the hotel's clientele was Japanese so I had to give up that game.

    I knew something was wrong because the culture is also known to be rather prompt.  I'd arrived fifteen minutes early and waited until about 9:15 AM before I decided to call.  These guys called me first.  "Amy?  Where are you?" the young foreigner asked.  "At the hotel."  "Oh, no, no.  You must make it to location," he says.  Diva starts to rise.  "Well, I don't know where that park is I don't have GPS.  I don't have a map.  And I don't have a smart phone so you need to figure out how to get me there."  LA is a giant, giant piece of geography freckled with loads of little parks.  We hung up and he called the agency who then called me with an apology for the confusion and the directions.  

    While driving, he called again.  I can't afford to be pulled over for talking on the cell.  Again, no smart phone.  No hands-free.  So I continued to drive knowing I was on my way.  While I was stopped, he called again.  I explained where I was and he seemed to be happy.  When I arrived, however, he tried to mic pack me, makeup me, and give me a script to read all at once and told me I was needed on the set right now.  Growl, diva, growl!  

    Needed on the set?  Needed on the set?  I just got here, and might I tell you it was NOT my error.  

    I brought how many outfits for you to look through and you don't even care?

    How can I learn my lines while she's putting mascara on me?  

    Ok, I didn't say any of that, but for about three minutes in the insanity I took on second-grade teacher mode and told the mic-pack girl she would just have to wait.  I took the mascara and finished the job.  Then I told the AD that I wasn't finished with makeup, he needed to check my clothes, and that I didn't get a chance to look at lines so that's what he was getting on set.  

    Multiple people walked me down and said, "Improv, Improv."  I heard, "It's ok.  Don't worry about lines."  I finally said, "I don't know what the scene is.  I don't know who I am or where I am or for what purpose.  I thought I was a deranged alcoholic and then yesterday I was told I was the upset wife of an alcoholic, but I have no idea why we're here at the park."  The director didn't speak English so after translation, we went right to it.  I was a deranged alcoholic, but I was such a heavy drinker you could hardly tell I was drunk.  I had a vivid imagination, though.  Three takes, each from a different angle, and I was done.  Yes, acting is easy.  Sometimes.

    I apologized to everyone for the chaotic start, said "Domo" as much as I could, and even bowed to the director in respect.  I was hardly there an hour and my check is coming soon.    Getting to that one little job was no easy task, though.  Will my new actor friend put in the time looking for the work?  Maybe he's saving all of his energy for acting so he can maintain the often long hours one has to endure on set.  Maybe he doesn't feel he needs to waste his energy elsewhere and I'm, in fact, missing something by carrying that hard work ethic everywhere.  Maybe he's simply the only son in the family and has some entitlement thing.  His new girlfriend IS fifteen years older and quite maternal.  Don't expect that on set.  I know one set designer who will not coddle you.
    1:16 AM

  • The Work Dilemma



    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: Amy Arena ..
    Date: Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 2:49 PM
    Subject: The Work Dilemma
    To: 


    So I finally found a job that doesn't require driving an hour through the forestry's Kern River canyon to get there.  Worse yet, I happen to love it.  I'm substitute teaching at a lock-down facility for troubled young men.  They're extraordinarily polite and, because their length of stay is effected by how cooperative and active they are in class, they're oddly attentive.  What more could a girl want than a a captive, responsive audience.  

    Free time, that's what.  Now reading the casting calls stirs a longing in me to flee, to skip school to run to an audition.  As I watch the opportunities pass me by, I try to scheme for auditions and shoot dates that won't interfere with work, but just today I received to invites to try out for roles I'd love and I had to turn them down.  Moreover, word has spread around our small school staff that I'm an excellent sub so I'm already booking work for March.  YAY, Money!  Boo, I can't try out for that film shooting in March.  

    Not all is lost, though.  Money will allow me to take more classes.  Money will get me closer to an ideal home in LA.  Money will also allow me to continue to produce kitschy youtube sketches.  Also, past work is finally coming to pay off in reel form and also in my first IMDB credit that I, myself, did not have to pay to list.  Neat!  

    A special thanks to  www.itcasting.biz for that!  

    I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday, whichever one you may have celebrated, and a meaningful New Year's Eve.  Have a good laugh and some motivation for your resolutions at http://thisiswhyyourefat...com/ .  My HERO this month is Lisa Merkin, who also got her first imbd credit with me and who is kicking butt and not taking names in her very new and increasingly successful journey on the comedy stage at the young and forever age of 49.  Whoot Whoot!  My frugal tip for those recyclers of you smart enough to NOT be wasteful, dump your small trash in the gas station and say goodbye to your garbage bill.  This only works if you don't have sympathy for station attendants and you restrain your American consumer tendencies.  

    be conscientious, 

    me
    1:54 AM

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