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Andrew Frankenetti
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The greatest Italian who never lived and ever did...
Male
100 years old
New York
United States
Last Login: 12/14/2007
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Andrew Frankenetti's Interests
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| General | the looniverse, frankensense | | Music | always | | Movies | this one | | Television | what can you tell it? | | Books | sometimes | | Heroes | Andrew Frankenetti, Andrew Frankenetti, Andrew Frankenetti |
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Andrew Frankenetti's Details
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| Status: | Swinger | | Here for: | Serious Relationships | | Hometown: | the looniverse | | Zodiac Sign: | Capricorn |
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Andrew Frankenetti's Latest Blog Entry
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Andrew Frankenetti's Blurbs |
About me:
The Plural Edge:
Q: Why pledge allegiance to the gag of the Loonited States of Awherica?
......and to the Bepublic, for which it pans (one station, underground, invisible), which smacks of honey?
A: We’re funny.....that’s all. The
Short Road to Better than Worse:
1. Let’s be Frank.
1. Take what you did when you were five and make it smarter, but not too smart.
1. Don’t pay attention to the plot.
1. Stranger things have happened.
1. Cleanliness is next to cleanliness is next to cleanliness.
1. PROcess not CONtext
1. Be not uncertain: “High Franks instead of High Fives” is actually on the Long Road to Frankensense Everlasting
1. If you ask us, we will booblarize you.
1. One is our identity.
1. If you don’t know what to say, unwrap the obvious, then swallow the wrapper. Don’t call for help...you knew what you were getting into.
1. If you want to get out of the box, get into a box, apply the glove, and box yourself.
1. The Long Road to Frankensense Everlasting contains bristles and nettles necessary for the bloodletting of the pure of heart.
1. What Billy Joel meant to say was, “You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just might be the Looniverse you’re looking for.”
1. Spend the end of the world at a shitty diner.....Brad Pitt is so my brother.
Fleeting Recollections of Dr. Andrew Frankenetti:
1. Andrew Frankenetti was born in a vowel movement.
1. Andrew Frankenetti never said stop.
1. Andrew Frankenetti’s father was a traffic cop.
1. Andrew Frankenetti makes Frankensense.
1. Coffee makes Andrew Frankenetti sweat beads of justice.
1. When Andrew Franenetti has brainstorms, they become brain-tsunamis.
1. Andrew Frankenetti goes to jail.
1. Andrew Frankenetti is a trooper.
1. Andrew Frankenetti is winning 8-nothing. 1. Andrew Frankenetti will hold up in a court of law.
1. Andrew Frankenetti only speaks the Drewth.
Ruminations of Dr. Andrew Frankenetti:
1. There is a way to explain the beginning of everything without involving Looney Tunes at all, but then it wouldn’t have the same music.
1. There is but one hole in the Looniverse.
1. There is “Butt-Hole One” in the Looniverse and it is the Big Dipper in the new cosmology.
1. The Looniverse is greater than the sum of its farts.
1. The Looniverse is a slice of the Paniverse spread with crunchy Peter Paniverse Peanut Butter.
1. Milk it for all its girth.
1. The moon is made of Awherican cheese and that is why the wherewolves come out during the fool moon.
1. If you hear any noise it’s just me and the boys and girls at the Department of Miss Information.
1. Those who make inappropriate and irrelevant connections and other mix-ups work for the Department of Mr. (mis-stir) Information.
1. The slow-witted and unobservant operate under the Department of Mrs. (misses) Information.
1. The Department of Miss Information serves the necessary function of keeping the Departments of Mr. and Mrs. Information orbiting a distant planet of one of the stars in the Leonardo DiCapricorn constellation of the Buffooniverse.
1. The Buffooniverse is spread with Schmuckers.
1. The thing that happened before the “weekend” (hereafter referred to as the week) was the before-time, and the workplace is the land before time that the dinosaurs keep running.
1. The line “Yes, and he always had some mighty fine wine” has hereby been stricken from the record of “Joy to the World” by Three Dog Night
1. There is no brunch!!!!!!
1. The Contraverse is spread with way too many condom mints.
1. Andrew Frankenetti laced the taste of cumato paste.
1. The Contraverse is a slice of the false-loaf once pinched by Brad
1. When you die, it’s just like the end of a Looney Tunes cartoon, except you get pulled in by the glove.
The Marriage of the Good and the Brad:
1. Do the Good thing, not the Brad thing.
1. If you do the Brad thing, you end up in the Brad Pitt. 1. If you do the Good thing, you end up on the Tom Cruise. 1. Cruise Control to Major Tom.
1. Q: Can you take a Tom Cruise on the Rock Hudson?
A: Only if the River Phoenix is flying overhead.
1. We cannot determine whether the ugly are Good or Brad because they’re so hard to look at.
1. ALWAYS, ALWAYS RECORD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE LOONIVERSE, LEST YOU FORGET TO SPIT OUT THE BRAD PITT INTO FERTILE SOIL SO THAT IT MAY GROW INTO A PEACH TREE BEARING THE HENCEFORTH IDENTIFIED FORBIDDEN FRUIT OF ANNOYING QUESTIONS THAT LEAD NOWHERE AND ONLY INCUR THE WRATHE OF THE GLOVE. For this reason we cast the knowledge of the Good and the Brad into the Brad Pitt, never to be spoken of again.
1. If you find yourself in the Brad Pitt, call for the River Phoenix with a magic flute.
1. We will hereafter refer to the Nameless One as the Nameless One.
PropagAndrew and Other DisOrganizations:
1. PropagAndrew will be run out of the publications department of LUNY (Loony University of New York) Frankenetti, located two hundred feet below Nassau Ave.
Meditations:
1. Souperfluously, Andrew Frankenetti walks into a bank with wantons and leaves with wallets.
1. You can laugh all the way to the bank before you go through withdrawal.
Love,
Dr. Andrew Frankenetti, Ph-balanceD
898989898988984
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