Andrew's Fan Page
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The page for all your Andrew needs.
Erkek
33 yaşında
Queensland
Avustralya
Son Giriş: 23.07.2008
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Andrew's Fan Page | İlgi Alanları
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| Genel | Aliens, conspiracy theories, super human powers, animals killing other animals. | | Filmler | The Cube. EACH ROOM IS A CUBE!!!! | | Televizyon | Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, Stargate | | Kahramanları | Wolverine
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Andrew's Fan Page | Detaylar
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| Durumu: | İlişkide | | Doğum Yeri: | Northern Territory | | Vücut türü: | 180cm / Sevilecek daha çok şey var! | | Burcu: | Oğlak | | Sigara / İçki: | Hayır / Evet | | Çocuklar: | Bir gün belki! | | Eğitim: | Üniversite mezunu | | Meslek: | Comedian |
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Andrew's Fan Page | Okullar
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Hakkımda:
This page is the official Andrew fan page. Andrew is the funniest person in the world. His crazy, zany antics keep everyone entertained. Here you will find all of Andrew's latest and greatest quotes.
While wiping a white stain on his shirt "that better be toothpaste"
"It's a good batch of beef today"
"I had a curiously strong mint and its really screwing with my throat"
"Sorry I wasn't listening, its not full duplex communication I have"
In need of a mirror, Anthony suggested the one in the toilet, Andrew replied "Scott pooed in there"
"It's an interesting fabric"
"Air conditioning is so cool"
"Just use the force to suck out the fetus"
"My fats been slammed with balls all week"
"Something smells like dirt"
"I have memories of drinking and chasing possums"
"My arms are too hairy. They take ages to dry"
"You never get summer back"
"My friends aren't all that good"
In reference to Through the fire and flames by dragonforce: Anthony: "It goes for seven and a half minutes" Andrew: "So you could call it Andrew ..............times 2"
"I've got cheese ball cravings"
"Is it open coffin? I heard she was hot"
"I'm a programmer now. I can't sustain the cheese lifestyle"
"I took salt on a nature walk once and it was leech infested. the ladies i got... "
"I wish we could snort coke in the office"
"Everyone here is into abortions.......except for Scott"
"I think one day they will find a link between eating dolphin and whale meat to penis reduction"
"You can teach a dog to sleep, but you can't teach it to dream"
"Have you ever tried to headbutt a door open?"
"I have a sore Foreshin. Its the forearm's shin"
"I hate waiting for words to be spoken"
"Oh man.. before I had sex I made jokes about not having had sex..now that I've had sex.. all I have left is beastiality jokes. It's when I stop making beastiality jokes that you should be worried."
"I am a lot better when I sleep more. I'm almost super human"
"A Tic-Tac is my Tactic"
In reference to him playing flute in high school "No man, i was just sensitive"
In reference to the below quote about a female monkey "this is why they dont give them bananas anymore"
"I watched a monkey masturbate once and it knew what it was doing!"
While talking about hitchhikers: "we once picked up a Himalayan guy, sorry, Nepalese"
"Don't step in between a menstrual woman and a tampon"
"I was the bass. Lots of testosterone. Big balls you see"
"I've been known to.......change the course of a game"
"Basketball stories are the best"
After Anthony asked what was in egg nog apart from egg and milk, andrew replied "I dont want to know, it tastes like semen"
"I was reading up on human killing snakes..."
"And its foam, so you know its going to work"
"I'm thinking this weekend I'll practice smashing bottles so i can stab people"
"I have acidic sweat"
"Burn the hair on his anus, it smells more"
"He's eating an arse salad"
"But seriously, killing is not a funny thing"
While talking to cameron about flat white coffee's, andrew said "I've dated a few flat whites"
"It's like water off a Dave's back"
"Caroline wanted to see the things everyone wanted to see. I wanted to see other things, like a seagull eating a pigeon"
"I've always got you Midge - my little mermaid"
In reference to Italy: "A 'calf-building' experience... (not related to cows)"
In reference to Venice: "Don't drink the water, eat the pigeons, or deal with travelex.. all will have dire consequences."
In reference to France: "Cmon France... when will toilets be free?!"
"Australia's pretty safe.. I've only ever had a knife pulled on me twice..."
"I saw a cool picture of people that took pictures"
While contemplating a coding issue at work: "i dont know how i can do this without writing code"
"gotta try to get back my pre-coding tan"
"You know the hypocratic oath? It should be called the hypocritic oath. There's some people they just don't want to help"
"Getting married years ago was so much easier. You'd just see some girl in the distance, talk to her once then go into the shop she worked in and say 'Would you marry me' and she'd say 'yes, what's your name?'"
"It would be cool if we had to milk animals with intelligence"
"holy crapin snapin duckshit"
"I remember when I had to give up hope..."
"Imagination is just about colours, drawing has nothing to do with it"
"Dave's as hairy as two bears spooning"
"With minimal ball penetration space"
"It doesn't taste like it's been headbutted" - Said after eating a chocolate egg he crushed with his head
"There are a few things that set us apart from animals: Microwaves.."
In regards to always commenting on Scott having kids: "It's his inability to use contraception"
"There's something green on my finger and I don't know what it is. It doesn't smell like anything i know"
"How good would it be to live in Canada. I mean, there's bears, so you have to carry a shotgun with you. But think of all the salmon"
[Speaking to Dave] "I bet it is warm in your forest of chest hair"
"I don't think I could do it into a cup, I'd need a vagina"
"She was as wrinkly as time itself"
"I'm gonna need a drink of water later"
"I dated a girl once who I thought was a man....... well I suspected"
"That was a hell of a business trip, I had to sleep with him AND a tiger"
"I'm just saying, if you have a needle full of adrenalin, you should read the book first"
"They should call Fernwood, Firmwood"
"She was the one that broke up with me over the pawpaw masturbation thing"
"I don't know how lesbians get by.... I mean, if ones gets scared and seeks comfort in their partner, the other partner will be scared as well because... shes a girl..."
"I can't catch ants, they're to smart for me"
"So I was at this pub on Saturday night talking to this gay guy....."
"i'm not a dork.... ouch, i just hit my eye with my thumb"
"Have you seen how big her arms are? Its like she's a horse trainer!"
"There's only 1 thing you need to know about AJAX, its Asynchronous Javascript and..........."
"Its like that book, "Art of War", if a man doesn't have a good share price....he cannot fight"
"The 70s called.. they want their fat hippies back"
[Fists clenched, raises both arms into the air] "Drey Pride!"
"See the thing is, we're not used to black people over here (meaning australia)"
"That's the sound of a jazz flute. You can't mistake that."
"All a seal or dolphin has to do is bite you and drag you underwater. I've seen it happen"
"you know, the net seems to suggest that spoon bending is fake"
"ive got like a spider sense with respect to some things"
"I have real problems with the runs"
"Whoever made up the word 'innuendo', I mean really, they must've thought about it"
"Should I use a RSS Feeder Reader?"
"If anything it would take some of the goats life force"
"Whoa.....my computer has a heartbeat!"
"People with cameras aren't pygmies. Pygmies don't have cameras."
"i've got boomerang throwing wrist....its like tennis elbow"
"Your eyelashes are very effeminate" to joel
"Chicken is the best thing ever. Instead of thinking about work, we should just think about chicken"
"I'm ever so cautious"
"Can you remember the last time you were happy?"
"...and he'll burn it - and I don't mean making a copy." regarding Dave lending Piggy 'singing in the rain' DVD.
"I used to think it would be sexual to be eaten by a wild animal.. .now I don't"
While playings gears of war andrew yelled out "Man on! Man on!" much to everyone's amusement. Andrew then added "It's a basketball term!"
When asked if he had a blank cd andrew produced a dvd: "I cant promise this dvd is blank, but theres something on it"
In reference to britney spears' shaved head: "That's where mayonnaise comes from"
"ooowwwwww he's giving you sass"
"you don't have to be mean and black to steal a womans heart... but even if you are, you can still do it"
"I wonder if we'll get 10 grand payments all at once!! I won't have to get a loan to support my job habit!"
After describing how multiplication works using apples... "It doesn't just work for apples, you can use anything"
"He's a pig, not a peacock"
"I think when im sleeped up, i dont need to feel hungry"
"I write it on my hand, but sometimes i wash my hands"
"I only wish I had a vagina, so you could fuck me"
"Baby no, I would never use the term 'Spitroast'"
"Dave on the other hand, is a pubic farm"
Andrews Attempt at a hypothetical - "How much money would you borrow if you had to pay it back or die"
In reference to a milky way "It reminds me of me, lightly whipped"
"I don't know why but all day my hands have smelt like nuts"
"You know what's worse than getting a cold, knowing it could have been prevented"
"Whiteboards connected to computers, its like, from the future"
"you'll think twice before having a butt massage because it's the biggest muscle out there"
On 'The Biggest Loser' - "They are fat lethargic beasts"
"and they had a sex lottery, if you will"
"You can't get higher than an astronaut"
"I'm just talking shit with you guys, I wouldn't really have sex with a dead person"
"it tweaks some tender little nipple deep within me.."
Sheila: "Americans play volleyball" Andrew: "Is that what they do?"
In relation to the above quote: "People won't know if i was outside first or inside first"
"I was pushed through the loins of a pig"
"If you have to dig a hole 3 foot deep in an hour and you don't get it finished you still have part of the hole there."
"Swimming underwater is the closest man can get to flying"
"Quiche, its a gay man's pie"
"I don't think people drank milk before cows became domesticated"
"Whats that word......starts with "C" and rhymes with Flask"
(about AU ice hockey not having "checks") Dave: "I don't think it's a good idea (to have checks)" Andrew: "Why?" Dave: "Then no-one will die" Andrew: "Then why would anyone watch it?"
"Gay clubs have good music"
Cameron: "I'm scanning my computer for viruses" Andrew: "You can't scan for Anthony"
"my cousin got an accent from watching too much Simpsons"
"man.. I have a spasming bowel today"
"I've grown hair before"
After Cameron said that he could see andrew's monitor and hence he could see if Andrew was viewing pornographical material - "I get my stuff out and you get to watch me"
"HTML..I call it HTM Hell"
"What if they had their tubes tied, then you could go all out with your cousin"
"The solution is, ice fishing"
"And it was at that moment, that i knew, if i had wolverine claws, I would've been in a lot of trouble"
"You don't understand how much I love cheese, I'd suck off a dead cow for cheese"
"now i know what school kids feel like"
"the conductor was gay, looking back now he probably thought i was too coz i played the flute"
"My curiousity glands are salivating"
When discussing when we finished uni andrew said "I finished in two thousand one and a half"
"They should use hot tomatoes in bombs, its like napalm"
"Do you think people take drugs to make them sneeze"
"They should measure everything in Galapagos Island tortoise years"
Anf: "I wonder who first decided you could eat mushrooms?" Dre: "I bet it was the Irish"
"I feel like im fucking HeMan?. No I feel like I am HeMan?, not fucking Heman."
"Yes, I acknowledge that you're talking to me. No, I'm not coming"
"Cuttlefish are pretty amazing, I watched them having sex"
Andrew: "Hey" Glenn: "Pardon?" Andrew: "Oh, sorry, I was just saying it to the program"
"I can't eat sushi, I've eaten too much octopus this week"
"Why do we use 2 chat clients, it only breeds confusion"
stingrays have probably undone all of lara bingles hard work
Yeah he is the Princess Di of our country I suppose, isn't he? I mean, we don't have a king or anything, it's either John Howard or Steve Irwin.
Oh my god! I can't believe my Mum is telling me that Steve Irwin is dead!
The sting ray is going to become the king of beasts -- all the other beasts will lookup to it.
What was the headline; "Crikey I'm dead!" ?
I thought he must have had some kind of immunity to all animal poisons by now!
At least his children are safe from crocodiles now
I can't believe he's dead -- he was so full of life!
upon Steve Irwin's death:
"yeh i watched this show last night, and there was something funny about it but i can't remember what it was"
"It's being held over quite a broad spectrum of days"
(Context = Was said on 26th of July 2006) "Man, we're living in the 21st century, can you believe that?"
"I used to wear glasses but I grew out of them"
"Man I've got powerful thighs"
When repeatedly asked what he was saying when he was saying "boat", andrew replied "a sea-going vessel"
"it was some type of complex problem that i've partially forgotten"
While eating chocolate: "All the best foods are made with cheese"
"V-necks accentuate your pecs better"
"Why is your's so long and mine so short?"
"I've got energy in all the wrong places today"
"All this work is a futile effort to stay alive"
"I don't like to pull it when I'm asleep"
"You're just a little pig rolling in the stench of your own ignorance"
"I used to condition my legs in case I ever got kicked"
"I was born online"
"Since I moved out I haven't had much time to code up"
"I've just got a relaxed sexual appetite"
"He's the squeaky hinge" "You've giving him the oil for free"
"She looked like she was having an affair with death"
"I don't like to call it the end of the week, I prefer to call it the start of the weekend"
"It wasn't the cleaning toilets that was great - it was the mopping"
"You know, that movie, with the guy that sings"
"Love is spawned by the butt of a dragon"
"when u point a finger at someone else, your pointing at least 3 back at urself"
"you can't go wrong with calamari, unless its bad calamari"
"its not a shed, it's a storage unit"
"companies aren't built on fairy floss"
"thats funny, but so is racism"
"if you want to pick up a girl write her an orsm program"
"is this guy autistic?"
in response to an argument andrew said "theres lots of abstract things in this world"
"I bet when charlie and the chocolate factory came out, a lot of midgets would have thought they were gonna be rich"
"breath out negativity, breath in positivity"
"I should have just shutup"
(while rubbing himself for warmth he said) i've seen it in batman once
"its....its like a moving picture"
"That slow, HELL NO!"
"You tell me how carpentry skills are going to get you out of a meteor hit on earth."
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Kimle tanışmak isterim:
Andrew would love to meet any extraterrestrial life forms, pygmies, horse trainers, mythical beasts, big foot, the lochness monster, living dinosaurs and wolverine.
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| Andrew's Fan Page | Arkadaşlar (En İyi 8) |
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Andrew's Fan Page, 38 kişiyle arkadaş.
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