Andrew Wyld

About me:

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote
Sweepe and Harrye Corbett lyk a tale that's smuttye.

Patent Panacea and Physic

Will soon be available

The Story So Far:

The death of his poodle Victory, the companion of many years, has left Percival Hart in a state of agitated despair.  He now paces the streets of Kendal Park looking for things to bite and snarling.  He has also taken to wearing his hair in a perm and secreting large quantities of carpet fluff in his trouser turn-ups and cuffs.  While Dr. Heine confidently predicts recovery within weeks, his friends have taken to shunning him, throwing sticks for him to fetch and darting into corners whenever he comes near.

His only comfort in his strange affliction is his beautiful daughter Zoë.  Fiercely loyal to her father, she takes him for walks and discreetly looks the other way when he gets too near a tree.  Alone in her distress, she has taken up with a very unsavoury young man indeed, who is thought to be an intellectual and sports patchy corduroys and excessive side-whiskers.  Working increasingly punishing hours and passed over by impolite polite society, she takes her only real solace in her burgeoning collection of novelty headgear.

Sometimes she suspects some of it is not really headgear.

Jeremy has fled the country, leaving behind him only an air of mystery and a locked warehouse full of cabbages.

In a moment of ill-considered spendthrift excess, Lady Gastleigh has had her teeth framed.  She is reduced permanently to a liquid diet; her physician, finding a gallon drum of gin in her wardrobe, wonders if this may have been the entire point.

Hubert remains baffling.

Cynthia, bewitching but neglected due to her reclusive lifestyle, tries to make new friends through an introduction service, but is put off by her only correspondent's curious preoccupation with feet and retreats further into her eremitic shell.

A misplaced sense of duty and five pounds of cascara have moved Gerald, at great speed, to return home and reason with his brother over the question of the eggs.  They are reconciled but no solution is found to the problem.  Still, as they conclude, the best laid plans of mice and hens gang aft agley.  Now think on't, dot dot dot.

Syndee is unable to remember which of her boyfriends asked her to retrieve his prescription.  Hilarious medical complications ensue.

Now read on ....

• My website--75% obsolete, 25% daft.
• The Long Slide--for whom I play bass
• Fake Teak--my "solo project" (ha)
• Livejournal 1--now largely tech support requests
• Livejournal 2--now largely extinct
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