All the usual things. The great Local scene including Transcription Of Organ Music, I Built A Flying Machine, Her Last Unicorn. Paint Your Golden Face. Iceland. Bunkertaube. The Beatles. Harrison solo. The Kinks. Roy Orbison. The Beach Boys. Japan. Adventures. You.
Sounds Like
Andy Brazendale 05 to 08
A 7 song cassette ep
Out Now! Click here to buy.
Free musical abilities! The cereal box boasted. Come to this address! Not shady at all!
“Hm,” Andy said in probably not the most Australian way possible but perhaps the second or third most Australian way possible. He turned to his imaginary riot grrrl girlfriend. “What do you think?”
She did not reply, because she already played bass and did not need musical abilities. Also, she was imaginary.
“I’ve always needed musical abilities, you know.” He continued. Andy did not actually need musical abilities, being as he was trying to write indiepop songs, where typically lack of musical abilities is celebrated. DIY ethics and all that. This concept did not cross his mind. His riot grrrlfriend said nothing as she was imaginary. It is likely she would have corrected him had she been real.
It was then that Andy decided to go on an epic quest to gained previously mentioned musical abilities. He then planned on becoming a pop sensation. It was shaping up to be a good Thursday morning.
He grabbed his ukulele, which was conveniently propped up against the breakfast table. He also grabbed his coat because it was July and thus, it was winter in Australia. He then walked out the door, saying goodbye to his riot grrrlfriend, who was not coming because she already had musical abilities. Also, she was imaginary.
“G’day mate!” said Andy’s neighbor in what was, in fact, the most Australian way possible. Andy said nothing. He was on a mission.
He had taken approximately fifteen steps before he realized he should have checked MapQuest, being as he had no clue where he was going. Andy shrugged. “Well,” he informed his ukulele, because apparently he has a penchant for addressing objects that can’t actually respond, “We’ve gone too far.”
The next logical step was, of course, to go to the train station. It always was, being as it was Australia and they had more trains per capita than people. This also meant there was a train station about fifty-six steps away from his house. He had counted.
It was a relatively boring journey from the rest of the way there. Andy ignored two more of his neighbors and stepped on five cracks in the pavement. Nothing interesting happened.
“I think I’ll go…here,” Andy said, pointing to a random spot on the train map with his ukulele and pronouncing “here” in a way that rhymed with “idea.” He bought a ticket for a train that departed in ten minutes.
Ten minutes passed.
His train was delayed.
Another ten minutes passed.
Andy began to feel hungry. He looked in his bag; he had five dollars, the equivalent of roughly five American cents. He decided he might need this for later, in case the price of musical abilities was either selling his soul or five dollars. Yes, he realized, the advertisement claimed they were free. But there’s always a catch.
Forgetting his lack of musical abilities, Andy decided to busk. Which is Australian for playing music for money and all that.
This was going better than one would expect, being as he had no musical abilities. In the end, he got three dollars, five buttons, one pair of panties, and George Harrison. It was mostly a success.
He bought a sandwich.
The train left.
Andy caught the next one, holding his hand over the ticket so they could not see he was on the wrong train.
“So…” he said casually to the lady next to him. “Where’s this train going?”
“Oh, the music abilities store.”
“How convenient.” Andy said, strumming his ukulele thoughtfully. “Well, old friend, it looks like our adventure might be drawing to a close.”
“Who are you talking to?” the lady asked.
Andy gestured to his ukulele. Andy, the lady, and the ukulele spent the rest of the trip in silence.
The train slowed and Andy got off, realizing that he now did not know where to go. Luckily, there was a Free Musical Abilities Store sign right outside the train station.
“How convenient.” Andy informed his ukulele for the second time.
He followed the sign and discovered that the store was actually more like a parking garage.
In fact, it was a parking garage.
He shrugged and walking in.
“I’m afraid we’re fresh out of musical abilities.” A shady salesman informed him as he entered.
“Oh, well,” Andy looked down at the five buttons, pair of panties, and George Harrison. (he spent the three dollars on the sandwich) “It appears I’ve had them all along!”
“We are, however,” the shady salesman continued, “having a special on these wings.” He gestured to a pile of majestic glam rock wings sitting behind him.
“Oh yes please!” Andy cried, donning the glam rock wings and leaving majestically to become The Next Pop Sensation.
Written by Katy Batsel. Find her at http://indiepages.com/bottlerocket/ I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V4.4 (www.strikefile.com/myspace)
We'd love you to come along to the Longley Tavern this saturday night to see Firebird (from melbourne, with members from Nekromantix and Brian Setzer orch) and ourselves. They've got an awesome outdoor stage, wood fires for keeping warm, great atmosphere and FREE entry. Only fifteen minutes out of town up through South Hobart, will be well worth the trip!
"You name this song", that's an instant classic once again. Will you start touring the mainland? If anyone from the underground will make it, it must be you. Btw I started with the feature, got some pages, but it's slow, that is mainly due to busy schedules.
Come along and see this Sydney all girl trio rock the roof off the place, supported by 'Bone Rattlers' in our first show since the falls festival, also UK rockabilly legend J.Iscariot and local surf trio The Swelltones. This will definately be of the shows most worth seeing this year!
If you've already replied to the invite.....thanks!
Happy new year, mate. Hope you're doing fine. Wonderful new songs. I also dig the "Crazy adventure" story a lot and will surely check that lady's website.
Online Now!
