Laugh ~~@~~Love~~@~~ Live

About me:

"I'm a pimp and pimps don't commit suicide." IM DOING IT AGAIN! I made the move and it turns out I ended up in Portland. After spending nearly two years on my own in Nashville away from all I ever knew and loved I was ready to do it all over again. Since the break from home, "I've been happy and sad and loved and lonely. I've been in some good relationships and some really shitty ones. I've been living." I come from the north. I've done the south. Now I'm becoming a West Coaster. I'm super excited to be here but with my massive case of writers block I'm having a hard time getting my footing. It's super green out there just as everyone promised. I finally say I'm going to the beach and not have someone remind me that an ocean is required. This time around I'm not completely alone. My brother made the pilgrimage too. In Nashville I learned so much and met some awesome people. I'm glad I took that step of faith out of my comfort zone and broke away from the known. And I won't lie, I plummeted head first free falling into a somewhat terrifying dissent: I needed a minor surgery which required even the lint out of my pocket, my "new" car died, then the next one exploded while I was driving it, I got sued, forgot the meaning of free will, I chose sleeping in a tent over instability, I lost a decent chunk of my heart... But having endured all that gracefully I've proven what most have always known about me- I'm a independent gal that is gonna live my life and love every piece of it no matter what. There were some good times too: I traveled to a slew of major cities that I had never had the opportunity to see (ie: LA, Tampa, NYC, Philly, the Chi...), I took ballroom dancing classes, went to school for photography, fell in love, fell in passion, I camped out in a hippy commune rocking out to some great music, I got to sleep under the stars and wake to the chirping of birds. I love change, adventure and the unfamiliar. I love my family and friends back home, but I love MY new life too. It's something that I've manged and created all on my own without any pressure or influence. My whole life I've been tied down and devoted to so many serious things at once... solely devoted to helping others, and doing what one is "supposed to" so now I'm taking the time to relax and enjoy and live my life for me. If there's anything I've learned it's that if you're not selfish when it comes to life altering decisions you're building your life on a sandy foundation and eventually it's going to get washed away. That doesn't mean think only of yourself, you just gotta be sold out to whatever it is your selling or eventually whatever it is will lose importance and get tossed onto the back burner. .. {} ..

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