More analogizing of bad situations
I haven't actually had an opportunity to go to U.S. Cellular to get a new working phone, partly because of the rain, but mostly out of laziness. So to alleviate some frustration I've decided to present my problem here with another request for analogy. In this case, this comes through more as a diagnosis rather than as an alternative but equally absurd situation. Cell phone breakage isn't really that absurd, it just happens. Nevertheless, I'm trying to figure out exactly how to describe the state of my phone. It isn't actually dead, as the following symptoms will show, so I will describe its state, offer a few diagnoses of my own, and leave it up to the floor to elaborate.
If someone calls the front display will notify me of who is calling but immediatly hang up. I don't get a chance to answer it.
If I did get a chance to answer it, however, as soon as I open up my phone it immediatly calls up a seemingly random incoming call. It doesn't call it, it just gives its properties.
More problematically, the keys on the left side of the keypad seem to have forgotten their actual function and taken on completly nonsensical functions instead. These mostly depend on what menu I'm in, but suffice to say that they don't do anything useful, and usually only function to fuck things up. It is important to note that every other button on the phone functions normally, but considering that the important 'Send' button is on the left side, this doesn't really help me much. As a result, I can't send text messages (partly because I literally can't send them and partly because I'm limited to 73% of the alphabet), I can't check my voice mail (mostly because I can't type in my password), and I can only call people through circumventive means.
So, as you can see, my phone is not dead, it's just disabled. But how? I would like to describe it as a stroke. It does exhibit a lot of the symptoms of a stroke victim, the left side is either nonresponsive or does not respond in the expected manner, additionally it certainly seems to be a neurological disorder: input and output are muddled. However, at the same time I think it might just be a matter of insanity but, not being familiar with the DSM-IV I'm not exactly sure what disorder it has.