We were drinking coffee when the naked man arrived. His bare ass flashed as he ran down the hall. A minute later he came back with a large can of paint. Naturally, we worried. We chewed our lower lips.
This naked man had a metal box, which he set on the floor and opened. He picked out the thickest bristled brush, dipped it in the paint can, and began to paint his torso. "Hey now," we said. Baby blue drops spattered all over as the naked man worked in vertical strokes from neck to midriff, over his shoulders and under his underarms. "There," he said when he finished. "The shirt."
The naked man went down the hall again, his butt wobbling beneath blue shirt flaps. He came back with a can of green paint. With one of the thinner brushes he made straight lines along his legs. "The pants!" he cried.
We tried to keep from yelling when the naked man ran out again. He returned with some smaller paint cans. With regular acrylic he brushed on brown shoes; he used a needlepoint brush to create tan laces, threading them into painted-on eyelets. He dunked a brush in screaming red, then slathered on a jacket. He daubed on a hat, scarf, gloves, and a long, woolen overcoat which he painted up button by button.
Beneath the black fabric, his colors were still there, but hidden, and beating like a heart. A finished picture, the naked man stood in the doorway and waved. We waved back as he vanished in the landscape.
Music
And how.
Movies
Indeed.
Television
Not so much.
Books
Natch.
Heroes
Franz Kafka. Buster Keaton. David Byrne. James Tate. Donald Barthelme. Lydia Davis. Joseph Cornell. The Beatles. Frank O'Hara. Gertrude Stein. Tom Friedman. Miles Davis. Kenneth Koch. George Saunders. Max Ernst. The Marx Brothers. Brian Eno. Dean Young. Marcel Duchamp. Russell Edson. My brother. John Ashbery. Vincent Van Gogh. James Brown. Dr. Seuss.
My first book, I Carry A Hammer In My Pocket For Occasions Such As These, was published in 2007 by BOA Editions. The book is mostly about human desire and suffering, but it's also a lot like Silly Putty in that it's designed for maximum elasticity and sproingyness. I hope you'll enjoy it.
Press about the book:
I Carry A Hammer In My Pocket For Occasions Such As These is a collection of 57 pieces that range in length from compressed paragraphs to 10-page stories. Its characters, voices, and surreal scenarios are unified in a playful vision of the world that is equal parts metaphor, memory, cartoon, tragedy, love story, and song.
Speed and brevity are a large part of the collection’s design. In a culture where attention spans are shorter and more fractured, media is dominated by quick cuts and sound bites, and American schedules are fuller and faster, the need for a literature for the subway and the waiting room—-something to resonate in the smaller gaps of our lives—-is emerging. To this end, I Carry A Hammer In My Pocket for Occasions Such As These is quick, colloquial and comic, yet challenging and highly reflective. It offers readers-—at a glance—-a journey into a fictional world that is poetic and narrative, fantastic and familiar, accessible and adventurous.
"With gorgeous and distinct sentences, Tognazzini gives us little clips of life-- whimsical, painful, brief, deep; there are some real gems in here-- phrases and moments I read and reread-- profundities in delicate packages. A true treat of a book."
--Aimee Bender, author of The Girl in the Flammable Skirt
"Anthony Tognazzini's work is a topological, literary wonder-- How can texts which are so short be so deep and full of meanings?"
--Etgar Keret, author of The Nimrod Flipout
“Reading Anthony Tognazzini is like having a surprise party thrown in your honor on every page. I Carry A Hammer in My Pocket For Occasions Such As These turns cartwheels, plants daisies, and sings love songs in honor of all that is strange, sad, serious, and sublime about being alive.”
--Myla Goldberg, author of Bee Season
"The short short's lineage may be continental, but Anthony Tognazzini in his debut collection writes in pure American--laconic in tone, yet fast-paced, quick-witted, street-smart, and not, thankfully, above, when the occasion occasionally presents itself--and Tognazzini makes sure that it does--smart-assed."
--Stuart Dybek, author of The Coast of Chicago
I Carry A Hammer In My Pocket For Occasions Such As These is now available for pre-order from the following sites:
Anthony Tognazzini lives in New York City where he writes, teaches, and plays with his band Sky Eats Man. He can be contacted directly at atognazz@gmail.com
Who I'd like to meet: Interesting people of my species.
I have written a poetry book of peace called “Aspire Peace” and will donate all proceeds from sales of the book to charity, please add the site (click on the picture below) for this book and pass the peace along...
Hey Anthony! My days are definitely sunnier now!! Especially when I'm by my swimming pool! : 0 ) Congrats on your book! I'm definitely going to get it and think about using it for my CW class. I love using flash fiction in there. Could be the poet in me!
ha thnx AT. i dunno if i believe u really drink schlitz but i dig the compliment.
outside this wacky web-world i'm aka Greg Oguss and i've joined the staff of Slurve as their film/music editor dude. Mike speaks highly of yer stuff and i look frwrd to readin u in the upcoming ish.
How is summertime in the Big City, so far? It's a swealtering 109 degrees here today, but beautiful, nonetheless. It's been some time since I've sent a "Hello" your way, I hope all is well; and I hope to see you sooner than later. Any chance you'll be in SD for TJ's album release? Much love and adoration to you always, A.
Hey Anthony Thank you so much for adding us as your friend-- in return if there is anything we can do to better feature you/your work on our website, or add to your author profile (different picture, bio, etc.) please let us know! At BooksOnBoard we strive to be your friend with benefits (book benefits that is). Keep up the wonderful work!
I believe I stumbled across your poem in Double Room. I actually had it memorized for some time for a poetry class at Ball State.
I'd looked into applying at IU for grad school, actually, but I forgot to take the GRE in time, and my GPA isn't great, so I'm taking a couple years off to work on a portfolio and to send out some poems.
Thanks for the kind words about the music. For the most part, it's been just another creative exercise when I'm bogged down with other creative projects and feeling dead-ended.
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