I get people tellling me, since I rag on MYSPACE so much, why am I on it so much??? Well, Im here to have fun, Im not here to pickup on women.... I dont put up pics where I have my shirt off, I dont make an attempt to look sexxxxxxy, because I know Im not... I KNOW IM FUNNY LOOKING... THATS WHY I TELL JOKES FOR A LIVING... I KNOW I LOOK LIKE THE GECKO FROM THE GEICO COMMERCIALS!!!! When a woman looks at me, shes not thinking, "WOW, I REALLY WANT TO FUCK HIM!!!", shes thinking, "WOW, I CAN SAVE A LOT ON MY CAR INSURANCE!!!!
anything and everything on BET,tons and tons and tons of shit on VH1,TOUGH CROWD WITH COLIN QUINN,bunch of tv commercials
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ARDIEFUQUA's Interests
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CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!!
Ok, listen people. Ive gotta say this & I cant just leave this as a shitty blog...Im a straight male, who has a lot of gay friends. I work in entertainment, so thats to be expected. I'll take friend requests & adds from gay people....cool....but please stop sending weird sexual requests, if youre a male.I get all kinds of requests thrown @ me, I actually think its funny. But 1 guy asked me if he could SNIFF MY ASS & thats NOT COOL!!!If youre trying to get me to switch sides, I dont think ASS SNIFFING is gonna do it. Not only did he ask me to SNIFF MY ASS, but he described in detail how he was gonna do it, like he's a fuckin expert on the subject or some shit. And when I politely declined (I honestly thought it was a joke), he got all pissed off & gangsta like I was missing out on some hot shit! I mean to be honest, I dont think I'd be down with ASS SNIFFING even if some hot ass girl asked me if she could do it. Ive never heard, "I wanna get you naked, lay you down, and then SNIFF YOUR ASS!" I dont even think Usher can get away with a song about ASS SNIFFING...That would be a funny cd cover tho...ASS SNIFFING VOL 2...I mean,suppose your lover asked you if they could SNIFF YOUR ASS, how is that sexy? First of all, wouldnt that tickle? Second, what if they have to sneeze while theyre down there, now youve got snot & boogas in your ass. Third, wouldnt that sniffing noise creep you out? "OH YEAH...snffffffff...Whos ASS IS THIS...snfffffff...YEAH, TAKE THAT NOSE ,BITCH....snfffff....." So, Im just putting this out there so every1 who gets weird sexual requests will know that youre not alone.....
Flip Words
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BITCH ASS BABY!!!!:The Ardie Fuqua Story
Television
my cable is off
Books
I cant read
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"THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE".....I'll give $100 to anyone who can tell where that quote is from.....HAHAHAHA...you'll never get it!!!
About me: Im tired of people asking, "Is this really ARDIE FUQUA, or someone pretending to be ARDIE FUQUA?" Listen up folks, ITS ME!!!! For real..... I dont know anyone with any interests in pretending to be me...well, some1 did steal my identity once, but I had warrants, so he got locked up instead of me.....Im not a celebrity, or one of those entertainers with a huge ego, meanwhile they live in their moms basement. About me, lets see.......well, Im driving a 2004 truck that I really cant afford, the 24 inch rims that are on the truck are used, I bought them off the drug dealer down the street who now has bigger and better rims on his truck, Im living in a house with a mortgage that I really cant afford, I take women to restaurants that I really cant afford, so I tell them to meet me somewhere really expensive, then I purposely show up an hour late and say, "DAMN!! Look @ the time, I gotta go do a set @ a comedy club, we can eat there for free!!" I work in an industry where only 1% are successful, Im constantly broke, paying for things to make it look like Im successful, meanwhile, if you come to my house, the lights, phone and cable are all shut off.....Im not handsome, but GOD DAMMIT IM CHARMING!!!!!!!!!
And Im getting really really tired of getting these msgs from chicks who try to get you to check out their web cams...they always talk about how theyre new to the neighborhood, but never give you a city or state, and they
wanna meet you and hang out...WHO FALLS FOR THIS SHIT???? Whos dumb enough to be like, "Damn, this fine ass chick, with no address, only 1 pic up, and only 1 friend (Toms dumb ass), wants to get with me!!!" And why do they all have Tom as a friend?? Is Tom a pimp??? I checked out 1 chicks web cam, and in the background, I heard Tom yell, "BITCH DO IT AGAIN!!!"
Ya wanna know how pathetic my life is?? My 14 year old son has a MySpace account. I sent him a friend request, and he DENIED ME..... I love getting comments... I even love it when artists leave comments promoting themselves, Im an artist (oh really?) too, and I'll help any1 and every1 that I can... BUT... I dont love the stupid fucks that wanna leave you a FUCKIN 40 FOOT LONG COMMENT ASKING TO BUY THEIR CD OR CHECK OUT THEIR BEATS!!!!!!!!
Oh yea... if youre gonna leave a comment about a party youre throwing, can you please please please make sure that I LIVE IN THE FUCKING STATE that the party is being thrown??????
CAN I PLEASE GET SOME HATERS!!!!! Every1 is talking about how they have "haters" and that "haters" inspire them and make them do better, and how "haters" are gonna make them succesful...... well, shit, thats what I need!! You mean all this hard work and dedication aint shit??? All I needed was some "haters" to find some inspiration and be succesful??? So thats what Ive been doing wrong the past 15 years??? WELL ITS NOT FAIR!!! I WANNA BE HATED ON TOO!!! DAMN!!!!
Who I'd like to meet: I'd like to meet genuinely sincere people, who wanna make a difference in this world! BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! I dont wanna meet anybody GENUINE! I dont even know if I spelled GENUINE right! Lets all drop the charade people, if your reading this right now, youre sitting home BORED, or your at work BORED! If the person you are currently dating looks anything at all like Brad Pit, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, Halle Berry or Tyson Beckford, YOU WOULD NOT BE ON THIS WEBSITE!!!! See, Im the exception. Im really tall, cute and funny, so I HAVE to be on this website, to make people think this works. When people meet me, its like "OMG, My Space is sooooo much fun!".... I am who I say I am.... I look like my pics....be honest fellas, how many times did you a see a girls pics, and she looks like Halle Berry. Then you meet her in person, and she looks like Franken Berry? So, therefore, I wanna meet all the honest people, who after a hard day @ work or school, wanna make friends with someone that they will message twice, then delete them a month later because they refused your cheesy pick up lines, and wont meet you for "coffee".....
But at least look SOMETHING like your pic....Dont you HATE meeting some1 who looks totally different from their pic??? I mean, come on, @ least have your wheelchair on your pic, or @ least mention it on your profile. I invite you to my house, and now I gotta build a ramp so you can come in?? Thats bullshit!!!
PROFILE PET PEEVES...
This applies to Myspace, Facebook, AIM profiles, and any other online medium where narcissistic young people like me represent themselves. If you have one or more of the following statements in your profile, I probably hate you. In no particular order:
.....................1) People who say "music is my life," but don't play an instrument or sing at all. Kind of lazy, no? Let me clue you in: your only relation to music is that you consume it. You are to TV on the Radio what a geek is to Star Wars: a hobbyist. Don't pretend to understand music you have no idea how to perform or analyze just because you have a humanities degree.
.....................2) People who say they enjoy "eating, hanging out, movies, going out with friends." EVERYONE DOES THESE THINGS. Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should totally hang out!
......................3) People who say that they hate "fake people and liars." It doesn't help that they usually spell it "liers." Who ARE all these fake people running around that I keep hearing about? If everybody hates fake people, then how can there be anyone left to be fake? Maybe the fake people just don't have Myspace pages. Yeah, that must be it.
......................4) People with kids. I don't mean to sound like a prude, but when you bring a life into the world, the part of your life that involved Myspace is over. Or at least it should be. It pains me to think of the rearing your child will receive when his mom's profile still lists "clubbing and going out" as interests and has "riding dirty" as its embedded song. And enough with those creepy calendars that tell us how big the kid you are expecting has grown to. I try not to think about what is going on inside a person's body until I've at least met them in person.
...............................(Side note: I haven't seen any yet, but it is inevitable that there will soon be baby Myspace pages, i.e. mothers setting up accounts for their babies and writing crap like "my mommy is typing this for me" in the "about me" section. These children will have all their relatives and playdates added as friends and will keep their accounts as they grow up and get old enough to use it themselves. They will never remember not having a Myspace page. This makes me fear for our nation's future.)
.................................5) "You either hate me or love me." My attitude towards 99% of the people I meet is "don't give a shit." To presume that you could command either my hatred or affection is incredibly arrogant. It also means you're a drama queen who can't stand to be ignored for five seconds.
.................................6) "wut's up" You goddamned fucking retard. One letter cannot possibly cost you enough time that it's worth sacrificing your dignity.
..................................7) "I believe in (veganism, atheism, satanism, whatever). If you can't handle that, then you don't need to read any further." Pretty much the same as number 5. Stop trying to make your hobby sound like your life's consuming passion; I bet half your friends don't even know about your -ism and they "handle" you just fine. In fact, you're probably writing about it so confrontationally because you don't have the spine to say such things in real life to real people.
.................................8) Jailbait. If you're 15 or under, then do us all a favor and get the fuck off of Myspace. Now. Unless you like long van rides with forty year old Harry Potter enthusiasts, no good can come of it. It's not just concern for your safety that makes me say this; you are going through the stupidest years of your life, and broadcasting them into cyberspace. If there was a google-cached copy of all the idiotic things I wrote in my friend's year books, I'd probably want to hang myself. Which brings us to...
.............................9) Dead kids. Wow. You died. That sucks, it really does. Now could one of your surviving relatives have the decency to take your page down? I know it gives your friends a place to type that they "miss u so much" (Jesus the Jew, can't you even spell correctly for your friend's EULOGY??), but you're giving me the creeps, smiling at me from that profile picture like you're still among the living. Exactly how long is your grieving family going to leave that page up? Forever? Forever-ever? Ever-ever? I guess your friends will finally have some closure on your death when they move you out of their top 8. I just really hope that when I die, there won't be an eternal monument to all the terrible bands I liked right before I kicked.
.............................Well, there are more of these, but you get the point. Please, people, remember that these websites are just shrines we set up for ourselves. The more effort you put in to showing the world how unique you are is probably proportionate to your superficiality and egotism. Just tell me enough information to let me know if we could hang out. And don't worry, I'm not a fake person. Or a lier.
HENROK - THE MAIN EVENT is dropping soon. Entirely self produced !!! In the meantime, I invite you all to check out the songs i posted on my page. Much love to all my loyal fans and listeners. Keep bangin that REAL hip hop. LOVE, PEACE, AND CHICKENGREASE!!!! H
Hey!!
Well.. I listened to the weatherman and he said it was gonna be sun shine today..Hmmmm!!
Its enough to write a song about!! (track 2 on my page!!)
How are you anyway?? Thanks for your friendship!
Dont trust a stranger, STRANGER DANGER!! Trust your heart!
Stay Sexy,
Coralie
Hey there, my friend… just wanted to let you know I think you’re a great FRIEND, this is what Myspace is all about. Meeting people from all walks of life... I am your friend and you are my friend; and in honor of you my friendship I have put you on my Top 20 on my page I want everyone one to know you are MY friend.
Leave this up for a few hours or days, this is a sample of what I call The Wizards Mist. Enjoy...
COME FLY WITH ME & READ MY BLOG EXCERPTS FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK THE VENUS CHRONICLES LEAVE ME A COMMENT .. I WILL RETURN THE LUV KEEPING IT SEXY ALL OTHERS ARE IMITATORS GODDESS VENUS
Peace! I'm writing to let you know my debut album This Little Light of Mine just hit itunes! The first 1000 people who download the album will recieve a FREE unreleased song as a gift from me. If you haven't already downloaded it, the link is below..and contact tllentertainment@gmail.com for details. There are a couple other things you can do to help ADD ME TO UR TOPS IF U HAVEN'T ALREADY TO HELP PROMOTE THE ALBUM AND YOU CAN ADD ONE OF MY SONGS TO YOUR PLAYER. YOUR ASSITANCE IS MUCH APPRECIATED AND DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE. You can subscribe to my youtube page at youtube. com/jenifujita 2009 it's OUR turn to shine! Jeni Fujita
Experience "This Little Light of Mine" by Ms. Jeni Fujita by clicking pic above!
Yo Yo just breezin in say wus up u got any gigs in NYC this weekend bring the crew chack it out,,Yo check me out on the new season of LIFE ON MARS on ABC stay in touch
Online Now!
