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I reluctantly left my mum’s womb on a cold winter’s evening in 1966 in Harrogate, a small town in North Yorkshire in England. I attended prep school where I excelled at Latin and was a promising cricketer. From a young age I began to spend a lot of time imagining I was someone else. In 1978 I went to the local all-boys public school, which was to play a crucial part in my lack of emotional development I fell in love with the ‘Do-It-Yourself’ ethos of punk rock and began to make art and music without any semblance of ability. I found my spiritual home in The Ramones’ world of cretins, geeks, weirdos and pinheads. I borrowed my dad’s bass guitar and formed a band, appropriately called 'No Reality'. I got an admirable 0% in my art exam for ignoring the set questions and tracing the sleeve of the first Ruts album instead. Left school at 16 and practiced being socially inept. Moved to London. Made a valiant attempt at normality, wearing a tie and working for the Civil Service. In 1990 I returned to Harrogate just in time to suffer a breakdown. Whilst convalescing I wrote songs and made collages. I sent my bank manager some of my dark poetry He took me to court. The early part of the 90's was spent sleeping until in 1994 I somehow ended up joining Francis Dunnery on tour, playing acoustic guitar and performing my surreal poetry to bemused audiences across the world, culminating in a live album 'One Night in Sauchiehall Street'. Spurred on by a short-lived belief in my abilities I formed dark-pop band YY28's, signed a major record deal and thought I could be the new Elvis. One year and one album later we lost the record deal. I returned to Yorkshire to hibernate, listen to dub reggae and Steve Reich and get nursed through another severe depression by Misty the dog. There then followed a frenzy of creativity. I produced over 100 collages, which I subsequently dumped at the tip for no apparent reason. I recorded and toured a collection of dark poetry, comic songs and primal noises, ominously called 'Itchy Circus Odour'. At this time I was often to be found performing on various stages in the UK wearing a sheeps mask and making moaning noises. In an attempt to re-capture the innocence of childhood I got together with some old musician friends in 2003 to record 'Children Rule!' an album of melodic and melancholy pop songs. I run an alternative open mic night in Harrogate called Click Clack and have recently recorded a new album of sprawling poetry/comedy/death rattles called 'A Conglomeration Of Jockstraps'. I continue to create prolifically with no real clue as to where it's headed, which is poossibly the best way....