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Having been born on the glorius and superior Planet 3, Agamemnon Tiberius Vacuum grew up in a strict totalitarian environment. A dreamer at heart, Agamemnon dreamt of a day when he could realize his vision of personal freedom and spread his concept of happiness to the 12 corners of the universe.
At age fifty seven, Agamemenon Tiberius Vacuum had graduated ten years ahead of his class and a mere eight years later, he had used his position in Planet 3's "Global Damnitude Secretorium And Decision Organizatrium" (G.D.S.D.O.) to add the color RED to Planet 3's "Appropriate Colors of Limitted Unpunishable Utilization List" (A.C.L.U.U.L.) where it joined the familiar company of Planet 3's other two legal colors: Black and Other-Black.
As a result of the ten thousand year desensitization of Planet 3's people to untraditional color allowances, the addition of the color RED to the A.C.L.U.U.L. caused a brief color empassioned uprizing in the western hemisphere that was eventually pacified by the excessive use of nuclear weapons. In a global address, Vacuum called the event, "The first example of entertainment suitable for children under the age of 13 to occur in ninety four and one half years to the hour and minute." In celebration, the chancellor of Planet 3 ordered that 312 Black, Other-Black and Red balloons representing the 299 nuclear weapons detonated on the planet's surface and the 13 store bought active nuclear devices that were launched wildly into the air by trained animals in highly populated areas that were not part of the conflict as part of a 13 day multi-city public demonstration by some of the worlds most unsuccessful animal trainers. Each balloon carried a hyper-powerful slingshot machanism designed to fire candy into the open mouths of senior citizens causing severe injury and/or death. Agamemnon's position concerning the method of celebration remains a mystery to this day, although it is known that he donated 4 tailors and two shoe engineers from his personal collection to be incinerated without prejudice every half hour starting on the morning of the festivities. No one knows why this happened.
At age 78, Agamemnon flexed his increasing political power again when he played a major role in legalizing the number 9, leading to the release of nearly 3 billion prisoners from incineration camps in which they were detained for rebeliously counting their own fingers and toes. As an unexpected side effect, this incident also made math possible on Planet 3. Vacuum was disapointed by this turn but called the effect "collateral damage."
By age 100, Agamemnon had declared himself Inarguable Eternal Leader of Planet 3 and instituted his childhood utopian ideal of personal freedom, an oppressive, unchecked governing force known as the Vacuum Consortium. He had also begun to actively persue his newest hobby, "collecting the universe". Presently, he is in the process of collecting Earth, to which he dispatched himself sometime in the last 3 decades in a scientific process too disgusting to mention. He spends most of his time collecting unpopular hip hop albums.
In spite of his disgust with the Human race, Vacuum has made friends with certain like minded individuals such as Doctor Steel, (Who he met at an awkward super villain mixer party in Burbank, California hosted by Bill Gates.)
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Who I'd like to meet: ANY HUMAN WILLING TO CONFORM TO THE INDOCTRINATION OF THE VACUUM CONSORTIUM!
Also, amatuer break dancers and wire ornament fabricators.
Tidings and speculations! I wish upon you and your fellow hoodlums an adequate period of time where multiple instruments of evil will change hands, to further enlighten the path which leads to your world domination! I commend your efforts my glorious leader and as I continue to revel in thy menace, I wish you a happy harmonicum!
I am 100% faithful to you and follow your every whim. I will have you know I have stared my own little propaganda operation at my school to spread and share the greatness that is The Vacuum Consortium.
We are dedicated to model & fashion business, and photography, dance, cinema and arts, too. We are accessible by over 60 million professionals world wide. It is widely and extensively marketed and promoted to Agencies around the globe.
So Agamemnon I must say your empire has grown quite a bit. Though RJNN is still a separate force bound to take off soon. We have reports on the humans that may just hit your interest button. You may not know this but we've been here much longer than you have studying these "people". Their planet's history is quite interesting. Would you be interested in these intelligent reports on the humans? And if so, RJNN may cut you quite a juicy deal.
Antonio Hoyos will be joining us on the 16th of June, appearing as "The Great Antoine!"
We are delighted that this great comedic performer can join our line-up.
The Pop Haydn Post-Modern Medicine Show will be appearing at The Laugh Factory, 8001 Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood! One show at 8:00 PM.
Pop will be joined by Professor Dave Bourne and the Medicine Show Band, Rob Zabrecky, Sophie Evans, Antonio Hoyos, Phil Van Tee and Pop's Candy Girls for a wonderful show of Old Time Music, magic, comedy and variety.
It'll make you feel better!
Tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
19th Century Attire Welcome!
You can buy tickets at LaughFactory.com or call: 323-6561336 ext 1.
Online Now!
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