Author Patricia Yarbrough

Who I'd like to meet:

Other Mothers Speak Out: 06-20-2008 12:40:32 PM CST Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that some days I don't feel like getting out of bed! But I know if I don't then my daughter will follow suite. One son (24) died from complications of diabetes in February 2007; the other was shot in June 2007 (he was 17). I don't cope - I just survive. And I cry. How does one live without their children? Makes no sense to me. ________________________________________ A Mother 06-20-2008 12:38:05 PM CST Hello, I am new to this. Nov 10,2007 my son, my angel lost his battle with Leukemia at the age of 22... 2 days before his birthday. He also had Down Syndrome. He past away at home with Me his Dad, Brother and Step mom with him. I miss him so much, and cry everyday for him. I know he is no longer suffering and is in no pain, but my heart hurts so much for him and I walk around with a lump in my throat, the kind that you can't seem to swallow down...until you cry. I am constantly pacing around the house...going to his room laying on his bed the way he left it and cry, cry, cry. I do have another son to think about, but it is so hard, so very hard. I feel depressed and sad all the time. ________________________________________ Carol 06-20-2008 12:36:58 PM CST Hi, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son. I reach within myself for words to comfort you. I understand the lump inside you that won't pass without crying. May I suggest you cry. I mean really cry. CRY. Cry until there are no tears left and then when you feel it again in just a few minutes cry again until there are no tears. Give yourself time and space to cry. How old if your other son? If he is old enough to do for himself a little as well as your husband then let them care for themselves. I pray they may care for you also. You have suffered a loss that most people will never have. You will always carry this loss and sadness with you. You will always miss your son. In time the pain will lessen and you will function more and more in your life. Everything has a season in life and this is your season to grieve. I pray you will grieve and grieve until your heart wants to stop grieving. You are depressed. Let the grief overtake you. You need - must - grieve. Life will always be difficult without our precious son. Nothing and no one can replace him. No one loved him like you do. He carried a large part of your heart with him. Let your heart be sad right now. That is what you are supposed to do. I pray you have faith in the Lord Almighty. If you do, Jesus will carry you through this very dark time in your life. Be kind to yourself. Be very tender with yourself. Try not to do too much even though it is the Christmas season. You will have less strength for a long time. Know yourself. Your self is telling you even now what is best for you. Follow the Spirit of God. I pray for you that you will receive comfort from these words. Carol ________________________________________ Unknown 06-20-2008 12:35:39 PM CST HI I a so very sorry for your loss I truly know and understand your pain, five years ago my 19 year old son was killed,he was beaten to death,by someone he grew up with ,my son had just finished high school, and was married,and his wife was having a baby,a boy.I have another son,who is 23 now.and I have a 5 year old son,who was 3 months when my oldest son was killed, even though God gave me another son,and a grandson I still grieve,I still miss my child,there are no words that can take away this pain,it has been 5 years,and I still cry,some days I dont think of him and somedays he is all I think about,I wish I could have had a chance to say good by,a chance to say I love you ,a chance to tell him how proud I was of him,you had all those chances,I know times may have been hard for you over the years watching over you son,but I am so very proud of you for doing so,God gives us so many different tasks in life,and he trusted you with your son,for 22 years,as he trusted me with mine for 19 years,I will keep you in my prayers,and I can honesty say that the pain will ease,but it will never go away,and you will learn how to enjoy the sunshine,and even the rain,may God bless you.. ________________________________________ Diana 06-20-2008 12:34:00 PM CST You have sent me such a beautiful gift. My tears that I am shedding are for your loss as much as mine. As awful as it has been to watch Jim die throughout this past year I cannot imagine it being as horrible as getting the news about your beautiful son. Words cannot tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Seeing how strong and brave you have been inspires me. I know I too can be strong. Once again, thank you for reminding me. I look at your picture and I see a confident beautiful woman. If you can turn the bad in your life into something so good I am sure that I can too. Jim worked a lot with the homeless (our whole family did). For years we hosted a huge Christmas party through our local shelter. When Jim had to resign as Vice-President last season it was the first time we didn't attend the party in a decade. He was too sick to be around many people. I was invited to attend and help out this year, but I am still too raw, but next year I know I will be involved again. There is so much in this world we can't explain...such as why someone like your son would be murdered or someone like my husband who took such good care of himself would get cancer and die within a year. I question God's choices sometimes. But then, I practice Reiki, and teach yoga and tai chi in the water and do water therapy and know that I am a sort of healer and I cannot let such thoughts get in my way. I need to let myself grieve and then I need to get strong again so I can help others. Jim would want that of me. My computer sound isn't working, but when it is I shall go back to your site to listen to some of the audio. I only read a few of your articles, but will take time to read them all. Thank you again for contacting me. Bless you Patricia. Hugs, Diana Duda ________________________________________ Paulette 06-20-2008 12:32:22 PM CST SAFELY HOME I AM HOME IN HEAVEN, DEAR ONES, OH SO HAPPY AND SO BRIGHT! THERE IS PERFECT JOY AND BEAUTY IN THIS EVERLASTING LIGHT. ALL THE PAIN AND GRIEF IS OVER. EVERY RESTLESS TOSSING PASSED. I AM NOW AT PEACE FOREVER SAFELY HOME IN HEAVEN AT LAST. DID YOU WONDER WHY I DO CALMLY TROD THE VALLEY OF THE SHADE? OH BUT JESUS LOVE ILLUMINATED EVERY DARK AND FEARFUL GLADE. AND HE CAME HIMSELF TO MEET ME IN THAT WAY SO HARD TO TREAD, AND WITH DESUS ARM TO LEAN ON, COULD I HAVE ONE DOUBT TO DREAD? THEN YOU MUST NOT GRIEVE SO SORELY, FOR I LOVE YOU DEARLY STILL. TRY TO LOOK BEYOND EARTH'S SHADOWS, PRAY TO TRUST OUR FATHERS WILL. THERE IS WORK STILL WAITING FOR YOU, SO YOU MUST NOT IDLY STAND, DO IT NOW, WHILE LIFE REMAINED, YOU SHALL REST IN JESUS LAND WHEN THAT WORK IS ALL COMPLETED, HE WILL GENTLY CALL YOU HOME. OH THE RAPTURE OF THAT MEETING, OH THE JOY TO SEE YOU COME!! SADLY SUBMITTED BY PAULETTE SMITH I STILL LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH, MY SWEET BABY BOY!!! ________________________________________ Patti 06-20-2008 12:30:35 PM CST A Missing Piece this Mother’s Day! This is my first Mother’s Day I will hear no song and I love you Mother from Dustin. The pain it brings as this day grows near and how to put aside to enjoy the love I have for Tiffany and my Mom. My birthday I had to avoid most of the day which was so unfair when Tiffany calls to wish me a Happy Birthday this pain is not fair to her and I do not know how to fix it. Why should I have to ask her to understand I am her mother too. How does one separate the pain in ones heart of the loss of one child so it will not take away from the precious one you still have here on earth.. Is it the first year that will be like this or every year to come. I so want to be able to separate the 2 because so unfair to my daughter I feel. She said she understood on my birthday but why should she have to understand. When I say this it reminds me of earlier years my mom telling me you are the grown up so act like it. Yes I am the grown up but my heart doesn’t feel like it . My daughter and grandson or the loves of my life and I do not want to take away from them in anyway so how does a mom that has lost one child deal with it separately from the loves she has for the one here on earth. I am reaching out for help to me get through this first year of so much. Patti Rawls Katy,Texas ________________________________________ Donna 06-20-2008 12:28:52 PM CST On December 16 2007 my life changed forever. I became the Mother of a murdered child , my only child, my daughter Jennifer, just 28 yrs old and the Mother of three little girls, all under the age of seven. A murder that was so senseless and vicious all for less than 100.00 taken from the convenient store where she worked. She was working for extra Christmas money for her children. She never had a chance. The suspect robbed the store, shot her three times and shot a store customer, then ran out the door leaving Jennifer with a fatal bullet in her back crawling for help. She died before the police arrived , less than three minutes later when the store, pumping gas. The customer also did not make it. The suspect was apprehended 24 hrs later and is awaiting trial at this time. My life has changed forever. I am changed forever. I am no longer the upbeat, positive, outgoing person I once was. My only child has been taken from me. My Grandchildren have no Mother. I no longer want to go out in public, I do not want to be around people whose lives are intact and have children to care for and love. It took me Four weeks before I went back to work . It all I can do to get through the day without falling apart on the job. When I am off, I give in to my emotions. I cry, I sleep then start the same thing the next day. I have no energy, nor appetite. I spend most of my spare time crying or in the bed trying to escape the reality that Jennifer is NEVER coming back. I miss her so much. We spoke on the phone every day. I am tired a lot and sick from not eating and crying so much I get headaches . It’s only been four months, but I am still numb and sometimes I find myself not believing she is really gone. I look at her children and I cry, I try to cry without them noticing, but sometimes I can not help it. Counseling, the support of a few good Friends and reading lots of books is helping me some, but for the most part, I am heart broken to the core and my soul is crushed along with my broken spirit. I feel helpless and so sad. It takes lots of work and good support systems to "heal" I hope to be at that point some day for the sake of my Three little grand babies, but right now, I am missing Jenny so much I hurt all over. I am also waiting on news of a possible trial date. How horrible that is going to be. My strength will come from God and the support of everyone who loved Jennifer and justice will be served for this brutal, senseless crime that took my beautiful daughter life. Her children were her life, now I must be there for them, because they are Motherless, and so very young. Maybe some day I can make some sense of this mess, right now all I can do is cry and try to be there for the girls she left behind. Donna McDaniel Statesville, NC Mother of Jennifer Lee Vincek 28 yrs old----killed on 12-16-07 ________________________________________ Teresa 06-20-2008 11:57:37 AM CST 06-13-2008 9:40:50 PM CST Life without your child? How do we go on after the death of a child? We do the best we can in the situation we were forced into. We cry, we scream, we run to no-where. We hoped to wake up to a bad dream. We lose our dignity, we become ashame of being an adult feeling like a child so helpless. Another Mother Voice Hi- my name is Teresa. My beautiful 18 year daughter Tara had an accident a little over a month ago on her way to school. I miss her so much and I don't know what to do next. I keep trying these little things like journaling, joining this group, reading books on grief, looking for things she left, planting a memorial garden- all these things to keep from going crazy. But I'm afraid I'm going to run out of things to plan and then what? Does anyone understand what I mean? Another Voice Some one said time will heal--its been eight years now and it seems like yesterday.Our son Jousha died from a pistol that dropped and fired and our son Damon was killed by eight police officers who failed to recognize that he was having a mental problem--they were all found guilty but that will not bring him back--for any parent the loss of a child is real tough.Jousha was only 17,and Damon 26 their deaths were six mo. apart.Your words caught me as the "Wrong Place At the Wrong Time"Now what--how do you pick up the life you once enjoyed--its real hard and just wanted to let you know I feel for your loss ________________________________________