Balertwine
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Details
- Status: Single
- Hometown: Under the Bridge
- Orientation: Straight
- Zodiac Sign: Libra
- Education: College graduate
- Occupation: I provide change to passers-by in a bus station.
- Income: $250,000 and Higher
Networking
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- Nightlife
- Entertainment
- Go-Go Dancer
Long as I git me my bottle of Thunderbird and a pack of Camels I can dance all night, til the morning dew settles on me in the grass behind the water tower. Least I think it's dew. Or did I pee my pants again?
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- Fashion
- Modeling
- Parts Model
Few people know this, but prior to my current career of livin' under the bridge, I was a model in Manhattan.
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- Theatre
- Marketing
- Public Relations
Before Siskel & Ebert, it was Baler & Ebert. Roger and I hung out in the 24-7 Cinema, you know, the one kids ain't allowed in, next to City Liquor. That's where we started the "Two Thumbs Up" critique. Except it wasn't thumbs.
Companies
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Balertwine Technologies
- Unincorporated. Laid myself off. Under the Bridge, US
- I'm the biggest boss ever. I boss the police.
I employ my dates for rude lascivious acts.
Latest Blog Entries
- Nov 22, 2007 10:29 PM Thanksgiving Pigeon with French Onion Dip Sauce
- Nov 11, 2007 8:47 PM Pink Underwear
- Oct 9, 2007 3:55 AM Nicotine Slut
- Feb 3, 2007 10:59 PM Survey Says!
- Jan 17, 2007 6:00 AM The Advantages of Alzheimer's Disease
Interests
General
I'm interested in what you got in your wallet.
I need gas money to make it to Alliance.
No, no, I ain't gonna blow it on a bottle of Thunderbird, no sir.
I gotta go visit my mother.
She's sick.
I ain't lyin'.
Got two dollar?
Bless you.Music
Most of the time I listen to accordion music and whistle along.
But if I wash myself in the canal, and the bouncer at City Liquor don't kick me out, I like to listen to:
Mike Lenz --
some fine Akron music
Jessica Lea Mayfield (The Artist Formerly Known as Chittlin')
-- more fine Akron music
..
And more from Jessica Lea Mayfield (The Artist Formerly Known as Chittlin')
Jessica Lea Mayfield at the Euro Gyro Pub, Kent, Ohio
Joseph Arthur -- more Akron music
Low in the Sky -- some more Akron music
15-60-75 The Numbers Band -- yet more Akron music
Chrissie Hynde - even more Akron music
The Pretenders - Capitol Theatre Concert
Ten Teeth of Twenty --
some great Akron music
Joe Minadeo - Patternbased
Hammer Damage -- yet more Akron music
..
...and that's about all I need to hear, besides the low train whistle of the Old '49 callin' my name.Movies
Quest for Fire.
The Life of Brian.
The Jerk.
Bowfinger.
Borak
The Meaning of Life.
Unforgiven.
50 First Dates.
Groundhog Day.
Brazil.
Neighbors.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Cookie for Breakfast.
The Love Cult
..Television
I don't like how people on TV watch me when I try to watch them, so I don't watch much TV.
Besides, I don't have electric at the moment.
Books
Catch 22.
Call Me Charley.
Ohio Revised Criminal Code
Heroes
Lorain Carnegie.
Say Hello
try not to say Goodbye, and...
Make Gentle the Life of This World.
Comments
Music
My Playlist
11 songs • 9/21/2008
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Blurbs
About me:
Homeless. Fugitive felon. But I'm a nice guy, really.
Just don't tell the police where I'm at.
Click a slideshow pic to post a comment & win a Moon Rock!
I live under the bridge. I live the life of royalty in my own mind.
I don't need nuthin' but my Sterno Cooker, my Coleman cooler, and my Thermos. And I been gittin' by just fine ever since my woman put me outta the house five years ago with nuthin' but the shirt on my back.
Which was kinda rough, until I found some pants.
But I'm a free man, free as the wind, wherever it may blow me.
Yeah, freedom's just another word for nuthin' left to lose, except for my balance.
Got any spare change?
..
Just don't tell the police where I'm at.
Click a slideshow pic to post a comment & win a Moon Rock!
I live under the bridge. I live the life of royalty in my own mind.
I don't need nuthin' but my Sterno Cooker, my Coleman cooler, and my Thermos. And I been gittin' by just fine ever since my woman put me outta the house five years ago with nuthin' but the shirt on my back.
Which was kinda rough, until I found some pants.
But I'm a free man, free as the wind, wherever it may blow me.
Yeah, freedom's just another word for nuthin' left to lose, except for my balance.
Got any spare change?
..
Who I'd like to meet:
I'd like to meet the dude that stole my hubcaps. They were the best part of my car. Had to junk it after that.I'd love to meet Drew Barrymore and give her a squeeze, but who wouldn't?
I met Jimmy Carter once. Nice guy.
Well, who else would I like to meet? Hmmm.
I'd like to meet the perfect man, cuz my ex'es are lookin' for him. In fact, if I met Mr. Right, I'd punch Mr. Right in the nose, is what I'd do. Why the hell were they lookin' for him so hard instead of ME? I bet he's a lowly slime who was foolin' round with my women behind my back.
I'd like to meet Bill Gates or Steve Jobs and bum a few bills off of them.
Come to think of it, Donald Trump still owes me a few bills from years back when we was out drinkin' and he forgot his wallet, how convenient. With interest, I think I may own a building in New York City now.
Top Friends (38)
- Made In Akron
- low in the sky
- Mike
- Jessica Lea Mayfield
- Spanky Butt
- Marq Murder
- elly-kay
- vince packard
- Dick Goddard
- RiotAngelguy
- Meghan Guder
- Square Records
- Brock Brown
- John Sferra
- Screaming Smoldering Bu…
- The Holly Llama
- Dan Auerbach
- David Mayfield
- Joseph Minadeo
- Musica
- Jason Whittle
- Brenna Hallaran
- Lisa & Heather Malyuk
- Neil Young
- Sara Watkins
- Jasmine's Fun Boat Ride.
- The Psychicshoppers
- Nope
- The Black Keys
- Stargazer
- Lori!!!!!
- User Sets Mode+
- The Black Cheese
- Agent J
- Amber Crossland
- sara wright
- Lushish Ran D
- CATRINA mclelland
pork records of n.e. oh… gesuum hawt traxsta mo'ya'fuk'n lawnta biages!!
1 year ago
Violet Velvet Studio 1 year ago
pork records of n.e. oh… http://porkrecords.bandcamp.com/album/forbidden-hits-of-vol-2" target="_blank" rel="no follow">
click the pic or here to go to the streamer/download page 1 year ago
3 of 407Morefree download / http://porkrecords.bandcamp.com/album/hawt-traxsta-moya-lwnta-sumer-skool-spamler?action=share&from=embed&;
Hey Baler,
Violet Velvet Studio is opening Sat. July 17, noon till 7 with live music. Vince is trying to find a ride up for it. Hope to see you there!
glad you got one... only the curious... it's part of my personal work i do.... it's the vinyl version of untitled album#1 followed by untitled single #1 and two songs from the melody a day project and the lo-fi reflect some outtake... http://stump.bandcamp.com - stump is my acoustic work but when it goes into the computater and isn't real and i a m the composer and the pc is the culprit of noise then it becomes the lOST sANITY dEVICE...