When there is no more room in Hell, the dead shall walk Brighton.
SATURDAY OCTOBER 31ST 2009 - Prepare for GORE.
Not suitable for the living.
Once upon a time Brighton was such a quaint place, an idyllic seaside resort, where the old and young went to bask in the sunshine. Tea and biscuits were on everyone’s mind.
Until November the 3rd 2007, an overcast afternoon that would change Brighton forever. Zombies are the only thing on everyone’s mind now…should they still have that intact.
The undead count is up, fashion is no longer hip! Brains are the only way forward. Seek flesh or fail.
Rumour has it that in the outskirts of Brighton, in a grotty disused military building, last years Zombies have been kept by the nations top military brain-boxes for experimentation. Amidst fears of an escape, the Government have decided to move these “specimens” to a new secure location on November 1st 2008. Critics have pointed out that a scheduled security personnel change-over at Brighton train station may potentially lead to a second epidemic, almost exactly a year to the day after the initial outbreak. Last years undead uprising was considered a “gruesome way to spend the day” and hopes (and fears) for the transit of these flesh-eating ghouls is high.
November 3rd 2007 is a day that will doubtlessly remain in the nightmares of the witnesses of the marauding zombie scourge. The gibbering horde emerged at precisely 3pm from Brighton Train Station. The few surviving witnesses described a mass of cannibalistic ex-living beasts descending from the station down towards the sea front, masticating upon the limbs of their victims as they went. The creatures stumbled down Queens Road - the whole time filmed by various media crews willing to risk life and limb for a story - to the sea front, pausing only for traffic lights to change in their favour - an odd behavioural trait that scientists put down to “subconscious remembered behavioural patterns”. Media coverage of the event suggests the ambling deceased were eventually captured in the vicinity of the old pier, as fire works and undead moans and groans that sounded eerily like some swansong rang through the sky.
With the hype behind this years transportation, and the undoubted high civilian presence, this year could prove even bloodier than last. - fears are rife that this could lead to the largest zombie outbreak in recorded history, the potential ramifications of which extend as far as the end of civilisation as we know it! We urge people to stay indoors, keep small children locked away, keep all pets safely indoors and do not attempt to leave their homes until the army have announced an all clear on Sunday morning…BUT since no one ever listens to these public safety announcements anyways, we might as well let you know a few things - the bloodbath will no doubt commence at 5pm precisely on November 1st at Brighton train station forecourt. Those wishing to view the event are strongly recommended to disguise themselves as the living dead as best as they possibly can - zombies are not intelligent and can easily be fooled with a simple application of liquid latex, fake blood and tissue paper.
The Brighton Institute of Post-Death Ambulatory Studies (BIPDAS) have now informed us that they have discovered that the virus has an aversion to salt-water, which bodes strangely well for us as the ghouls are likely to head for the most densely populated parts of the town, which suggests these creatures will descend to Brighton Beach to munch some tourist grey matter. Experts also, however fear that the zombies may well head towards the town’s busiest shopping centre - Churchill Square.
For those of you wishing to avoid unnecessary infection, BIPDAS have issued us with a code-red-worst-case-scenario handbook (including a map of the most likely route the flesh-eating marauders would take in the event of an escape, some information about the undead and how best to guard your home against them). Below is a copy of this map:
BIPDAS anticipate the zombies would break from Brighton train station almost immediately at 5pm exactly, following the guards alarm whistle. The zombies are then expected to lurch down Queens Road until they reach the clock tower. Sighting the hordes of shoppers on Western Road and around Churchill Square, they are likely to become excited and head down Western Road and into Churchill Square. It is likely the Zombies will use the entrance near Sole, just past WH Smiths rather than the main entrance, and then head back round through the main entrance to “clean up” those trapped inside the building. The ghouls are then expected to head onto West Street and follow it down to King’s Road (the seafront). From here the horde are expected to flock towards the West Pier - the place the Zombies eerily congregated last year.
* PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING:
We have graciously been allowed access to Churchill Square and do not wish to upset the management or staff in any way. We therefore ask that all participants treat the premises with respect (don’t go getting fake blood on anything) and ensure they enter through the WESTERN Door (near Sole/WH Smith) and exit through the EASTERN Door (Near H&M and Borders). Participants are asked not to enter any shops in role! If you feel the need to do a spot of shopping, please come out of character. You can always catch up to the walk later on. Last years other rules still apply - please see below.
Don't touch anyone! Avoid little kids if possible (they don't know it's fake).
If the police stop you, be courteous and polite.
If anyone becomes aggressive towards you, do everything you can to simply walk away and avoid confrontation
Do not do anything illegal.- dressing up in a costume is not an excuse.
Zombies still pay attention to traffic laws - Red man stop, green man go!
Last year, these rules were generally well stuck to, and we’d like to repeat the fun that was had by all, including spectators.
We repeat, Churchill Square have kindly allowed us entry to their premises. This is private property and we would like to stay on good terms with the management for future walks. Unfortunately we don’t have a budget like George Romero and can’t treat the shopping centre as a playground!
At a normal human walking speed, this walk would probably take around 10 or 15 minutes, however be prepared for this to take longer. Zombies are not the fastest movers in the world! We would recommend wearing footwear as comfortable as your costume will allow. This walk could take up to an hour and a half, depending on how rotten your limbs are!
Please leave your attitude with the living!
Spread the word!
