Ben-Jammin'

About me:

Welcome to my reality, beyond time and space, name and form. This is my sanctuary: a serene place, for me and my guests.

"Once expanded to the dimensions of a larger idea, the mind never returns to it's original size." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

I bet this guy never watched reality tv-- that stuff'll shrink your brain a few notches.

I like to think of myself as "different, in a preferential way."

I am a comedian. It's a cruel passion. I force people to laugh for my own amusement. It's an art-form, really. Ever since I was young, I have loved to make people laugh. Being a stand-up comedian, I am a conductor of a symphony of ha-ha's....and occasional snorts. The snorts are like a bonus. If you come to my show and you accidentally snort at one of my jokes, I will give you the biggest hug.

That so many people share my views is so fulfilling and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside....either that or I swallowed a rat in my sleep. Given the state of this house, it wouldn't surprise me. College housing is just a scootch better than a mexican prison. And with all the lead paint on the walls, nuclear blasts don't scare me. Once I saw a chud in the basement.

I like testing the limits of my body. I have this instrument that can make all kindsa cool noises and shoot out 10 kinds of fluids in all different colors and directions and can communicate a feeling with a gesture. I can move in so many different ways and do so much with this soul-mobile.

When I was very young, I used to play it safe at all times and liked sittin' on my biscuit, never havin' to risk it. I guess I took after my dad in that respect. But as I got older, I realized taking chances and risking things in life is where the most fun comes from. We're all going to die some day. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start living.

If you really wanna get a feel for who I am (if you're reading this, I suppose you do), read my blogs.

Now, a little bit about my reality.

Time does not exist, not past, not future. Only the present. Time exists only in the mind.


There is no such thing as success, only happiness. Whatever makes you happy is the most important thing...however, pleasure and happiness are not always one in the same.

Life is good.

Champions are forged in trial by fire, the losers perish.

Music is mind candy. Laughter is bliss.

I have faith in humanity, that we'll continue to exist as a species, at least for a while. And then the chuds will take over.



I think freely and give any reasonable idea a chance.



There's a saying in a discipline of psychology called NLP: "The map is not the territory". This says basically that each of our own individual maps of reality (derived from our senses) is not actually "reality" itself. There is no absolute reality, only perception.


Every person is like a flavor of ice cream....I'm peanut butter chocolate....what flavor are you?


I try to experience something new every day. I have a lot of goals and dreams for the future.

This is a hilarious youtube video.

For further information on some of the views I share, consult the quotes below:

"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." -Edward R. Murrow

"If you are flamable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire escape." -Mitch Hedburg

"If government were a product, selling it would be illegal." -P.J. O'Rourke

"If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned ....... Tyler." - taken from split second 'pop-up' warning, that appears at the beginning of fight club DVD movie

"Dad always thought laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." -Jack Handey

"Time is a great teacher...but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils." -Louis Hector Berlioz

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers." -Homer Simpson

'Today a young man on acid discovered that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves.'-Tool


This is pretty goddamn cool: