Studied writing and improv in Chicago. Now doing stand up in Phoenix.
Influences
Sam Kinison, Dave Attel, Doug Stanhope, Mitch Hedberg, Jim Norton, Bob Saget, Patrice O’Neal, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Red Foxx, Lenny Bruce, Jimmy Schubert, Chris Rock, Dustin Chafin, Rick Shapiro, Andrew Dice Clay, Nick DiPaolo, Collin Quinn, Richard Vos.
TV Shows
The Jerry Springer Show's Phoenix Finalist for the, "Be Jerry Springer For A Day Contest"
Ben Vitoff's Interests
General
Dope smuggling, human trafficking, making out with my dog, blood diamonds, bear traps, women in burkas, prison rape, cage fighting, partial birth abortions, jelly-filled donuts, teddy bears, creeping out old ladies at the grocery store, hate crimes, female circumcision, Abu Ghraib pictures, whale fishing, the ivory industry, animal testing, worshipping the devil, steroids in baseball, Joran Van der Sloot, holocaust denial, nuclear proliferation, people crying for help at the New Orleans Super Dome, the Minnesota Vikings, Fiona Apple, and Winnie the Pooh. Rollerskating (SKATING, not blading, you sell-outs!)
Music
AC/DC, Ashleigh Simpson, Pink, Johnny Cash, Cannibal Corpse, John Tesh, Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Slayer, Ice-T, Luciano Pavrotti, Dr. Dre, Barbara Streisand, Sepultura, Celine Dione, Michael Jackson, and Gem and The Holograms... Yanni.
Movies
From Justin To Kelly, You Got Served, March of The Penguins, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.
Television
CNN, Small Wonder, Hardball with Chris Mathews, 7th Heaven, Laguna Beach, Sanford and Son, National Geographic anytime they visit Africa, Golden Girls, 8th and Ocean, Richie Rich, and Jem and The Holograms. Oh yeah, and my new favorite... THE SQUIDBILLIES!!!!
Books
The Torah, King James Bible, Koran, the occasional XXX pop-up scratch and sniff hardcore non-fiction smut graphic novel... oh, and whatever happens to be the newest thing on Oprah's Book of the Month Club.
Heroes
Superman, Green Lantern, Captain America, Maya Angelou.Your results: You are Iron Man
Well, what can I say? My life is like an epileptic seizure- full of twists and turns and the occasional case of the shakes. Sometimes I just need to slow down, shove that wallet in my mouth, and pray to God that I live to see another day. I'm currently a broke, half-ass, stand-up comedian, but usually have to take up other jobs to pay the bills. I've done it all. Everything from slanging bongs at Trails, DJing at clubs, stripping at clubs (which lasted about five minutes until the police escorted me out and slapped me with a nasty charge of public indecency. Don't worry, I'm still fighting it and have a great lawyer!!!) Currently, I've been getting into modeling... yes... I'm a model. I do professional before and after photos. Right now I specialize as the before guy, but I'm REALLY hoping to move up to being the after guy. I think I stand a really good chance. But seriously, it's not all that. I'm a hopeless romantic, who enjoys long walks down Van Buren, dinner for two at Red Lobster, followed up by a crack rock and a deep tissue massage. I'm a pretty easy going guy because I just completed my anger management class and now know that frying pans are for cooking, not settling disputes. I have some of the best friends in the world who would never tell the police where I hid the body, and sometimes, deny knowing me at all. I love you guys! Keep up the good work! I have a great relationship with God, even though I get frustrated because He always beats me at Halo. What can you do? He's God, and like I said, I don't settle disputes with frying pans anymore, so it's okay. I'll be the bigger man, and let Him win. That's really about it. I hope you take your time, check out my profile, and sneak a little peak into my sick and demented mind. While you're here, be sure to write me every now and then, and let me know just how many years you think I should serve. | View | Add Favorite
Who I'd like to meet: Scarlett Johannsen and Kim Jong-Il.
Hey there. How's it going. Just droppin' by your page real quick. Hope you having a productive day. Also, we wanted to update you. We have a show this Saturday at Copper State Tavern. We'll have live performances from Bobkatt, Infinite Prophet, Rico, Mariah Scimone and others from 8-10pm. @ 10pm DJ TRIVE will take over. If you don't have any plans this Saturday come check us out. Hope to see ya there.
P.S. We do have a couple 15 minutes spots left for R&B and Hip-Hop musicians and comedians
I'll see you when I get back, homie. We'll go out and tell jokes and party it up. And you'll get to hear all about the questionable decisions I made for a week out in the desert.
You can then help me decide whether they are simply "issues" or problems.
But I'm learning some awesome things about a man named Jesus. I think that he'd like to get to know someone like you. I think he's got a lesson about compassion when dealing with workers at the Circle K.
Online Now!
