Portamental, early Kunstmaschine, Velvets (....yeah really)
Sounds Like
recent work.....
Just begun new 1990s album.
Duke Special album tracks.
"Partie Traumatic" forthcoming Black Kids album .
"Knowle West Boy" forthcoming Tricky album 10 tracks co-produced, 9 co-writes including single "Council Estate" .
"Rockferry" Duffy , produced and co-wrote 4 songs from album.
Sharleen Spiteri co-written and co-produced 2 songs for forthcoming solo album .
"Oh Girl" Cut Off Your Hands single......just finished debut album .
"The Colourful Life" Cajun Dance Party album .
"Bastards Of Young" The Cribs b-side and "You're Gonna Lose Us" single .
"This Gift" Sons & Daughters album .
"Cookies" 1990s album .
"Black Hair " Arkitekt EP .
Bernard Butler is a British scientist specialising in robotics. He became obsessed with the film Blade Runner in 1988 and decided to build himself an army of cyborgs who were unaware that they were robots to build him a very big house in the country. He quickly realised, however, that they were more interested in his collection of guitars and his jazz mags than in construction work. Bowing to their mechanical pressure, he proclaimed himself king of the guitar and programmed one, which he called Brett Anderson, to be a singer. Together they formed the Britpop band Suede and went on to conquer the British charts, releasing an eponymous debut album which won the Mercury Music Prize. After Anderson suffered a malfunction which gave him a god-complex, Butler abandoned his musical career and returned to building robotic hamsters and badgers, as he instead decided to build a forest in his basement populated by cybernetic organisms and papier mache trees.
Butler soon became disillusioned with his indoor forest and once again turned his hand back to music. This time he started to build self-playing guitars which could learn. He joined forces with soul singer David McAlmont and together, with the use of one of his intelligent guitars, released the hit single, "Yes" which became a wedding-staple amongst Mongolian tribesmen. McAlmont & Butler fell out, however, when Butler received the Nobel Prize in Science for his invention and refused to use the prize money to buy his McAlmont a pony.
Left without a humanoid collaborator, Butler turned to his intelligent guitar and together they built a bass, a keyboard and drum set which wrote two albums for him, released under his own name as solo efforts - 1999's People Move On which saw him grace the cover of Horse & Jockey Magazine as well as Flyfishing Monthly and 2001's Friends & Lovers for which he posed nude in Dog & Pony as he had become a pin-up amongst cottagers in the West Country of England. Irritated at the frivolity of Butler's activities as a cover star, his guitar promptly split from him, telling the NME that it was the serious musician in the group while Butler was "merely the one who takes his shirt off in photos."
On his own again, Butler turned to cheese & onion pies in solace and retreated into reclusive silence and a life of dairy-induced hallucinations.
In late 2003, however, he was contacted by his creation, Brett Anderson, who wanted Butler to collaborate on a record with him. Roused out of his cheese-induced torpor, Butler decided to prove his own prowess as a musician and formed a new band with Anderson, which they called The Tears, out of their mututal love for '80's New Wavers, Tears for Fears. Together they recorded the highly successful Here Come the Queers album in 2005 which graced "Worst Selling Album of All Time" lists in 135 countries. However, in the middle of a sold out tour of greasy spoon cafes in Devon in early 2006, Anderson declared his intention of entering politics and promptly left the group. Butler, desolate at his abandonment vowed to create an army of killer robotic chinchillas to beat Anderson at his game and retreated into his laboratory to begin work on his plan.
Important Facts
Butler holds 675 patents in the field of mechanical engineering and robotics.
Is the only person to ever teach a guitar to play itself.
Can eat 25 cheese and onion pies without vomiting
The only winner of the Mercury Music Prize to also hold a Nobel Prize.
The only winner of the Nobel Prize to ever pose nude for toffs in a magazine.
Once held his breath for 25 minutes while performing an epic version of "Stairway to Heaven" on stage at Glastonbury Festival.
Has 32 official fans who regularly send him their soiled undergarments in the mail.
Notable Quotes
"Don't I have amazing abs?"
"Who the fuck is Morrissey? That poof with the quiff? He makes me puke."
"If I'd known Brett was going to turn out to be such an arsehole, I'd have made him into a carburator instead of a musician."
"Folk music is for pussies. I'm all about the death metal."
"Cheese is my bitch."
• 1/4 oz Light Rum • 1/4 oz Gin • 1/4 oz Vodka • 1/4 oz Tequila • 1/4 oz Blue Curacao • 1 dash Cherry Brandy • 3 oz Sour Mix • 3 oz Orange Juice • Ice Pour over ice into hurricane glass and stir well. Garnish with an orange wheel.
oh butler, i even put you in my heros' list and you still ignore, you are no better then steve Vai, and he abused me as a child, your mother is a rodent, and you are no better. Go play your guitar to someone who actually spends money on music nowadays and see if they care, your backward ideals appeal to nowhere. Please retire, don't produce anyone else, no-one likes you.
How many Tears fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A hundred - one to actually change it, ninety-nine to tell him about how much better he could have changed it.
In the 22nd century..how many guitarists will it take to replace a light bulb?
Five - one to actually do it ...and four to reminisce about how much better the old bulbs were.
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.
How can you tell when a singer is at you door?
They can't find the key, and doesn't know when to come in.
Well...the second Croatia goal injected some much needed humour into the proceedings down at the Queen Vic tonight (in a perverse kind of way!) Anyway, hows Tricks...??
Larry David: "I pee sitting down".
Jeff Greene: "You pee sitting down?"
Larry David: "Yeah! Have you ever tried it?"
Jeff Greene: "No!"
Larry David: "It's more comfortable. When you get up during the night you don't have to turn on the light and wake up, and you get to read".
Jeff Greene: "What are you reading?"
Larry David: "I'm reading a lot of stuff".
Jeff Greene: "What stuff?"
Larry David: "If I peed twenty times during a day I can get through a whole New York Times for god's sake!"
Jeff Greene: "Twenty times?"
Larry David: "Yeah! Hey buddy, when you're peeing all over your shoe, I'm learnin' somethin'!"
Jeff Greene: "What makes you think I'm peeing all over my shoe while you're learnin' somethin'?"
Thanks for the add Bernard, enjoyed the tracks esp Mattres Fire. Huge admirer of your talent. Will never forget the Joiners gig in Southampton 91! Amazing gig, still listen to it today.
Semi-conscious on the train home this evening with my iPod set to 'shuffle' and out of the earphones bursts You Light The Fire for the first time in, well, a long old while.
Bloody cracking tune - and reminded me I never did properly figure out how to play the swine. That's this weekend's extra-curricular activity set...
