Oh my god, Darlins!! You’re here....Oh My God.....Thank you so much for visiting my page. Ya know, I tried to stay over there on my daughter Norma Jean’s page, but she told me to hit the road, I was "stealing her limelight..." Oh come on, give me a break!
Well, here I am from Watertown, NY now living in Orange County, darlins.
I’m up to about three packs a day and a gallon of milk. In fact, I’m smokin’ so much my nipples have filters on ’em.
My daughter keeps asking me to quit smoking so I told her alright, just buy me an ashtray for my birthday.
I moved out here just a couple months ago on that new merged airline, Conair-Lingus. They got me here lickety-split darlins. I had to leave Watertown because I needed to get away from all the Car Freshner Trees. Richard Grieco is from Watertown...did he ever make it out here yet, darlins? Somebody fill me in...oh my god.
Well, I’m sitting here in my housecoat enjoying my day with my cigarettes, milk and computer. I’m really a 2% girl, darlins. I get dressed 2% of the time too. I’m perfectly happy in my pants and housecoat and slippers. I like the girls to travel free if you know what I mean.
Oh god, this is taking an awful, awful long time to type...oh my god darlins I need a cigarette.
Well, stick around darlins. I’ve always got shows coming up and I’d like to see you there.
I think soon I’m going to dump my husband, Dick, because he’s annoying. Dick doesn’t even smoke and he’s always blowing smoke up my ass. I used to date this Native American guy, Half-Moon Risin (one of his ass cheeks were higher than the other)...maybe I should give him a call.
Bye darlins....see you at the show!
Some of my jokes darlins:
"My daughther Norma Jeanie moved to LA to do comedy and now she misses so many things we had back in Watertown...like boredom, umemployment and low self esteem."
"In fact I love to smoke so much that .....I was going to have a plastic surgeon construct another mouth for me, so I could smoke 2 cigarettes at once."
"I tried smoking pot but I got so hungry I ate my cigarettes!"
Website
youtube.com/bevcomedy
Influences
The Marlboro Man, Pastor Roy and all the Comedians of the 60s and 70s, when comedy was the BEST!
Members
TV Shows
Those TV people haven't found me yet, Darlins. When they do, I hope somebody puts me on that cute MAD TV show...oh my god..I love that show, darlins!! I think Lorraine and I would be good friends, darlins.
Films
Darlins, the film people haven't found me either. I know that Will Ferrell guy would just love to act with me. If you know him, tell him I want to have a cigarette sit-down and discuss our next film together...that John Heder is cute too, but he's too skinny darlins...I just can't do it.
Albums
Oh my god darlins. Do you think I should do an album? My god, just imagine that...HA haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
Hi Darlins! It’s Me, Bev!'s Interests
General
Smoking cigarettes and drinking milk, while listening to:
When I get all dolled up, darlins, I wear this cute jewelry...I love it!
Official Slogans: "Got Bev?" and "Oh My God, Darlins!"
Darlins...read that bio part. I can't type so much because I'm smokin' and drinking milk and it's hard to do all that at the same time, darlins.
OH!! Did you watch my video, darlins? That was a fun night from that cute little Laff Down Party Contest at Martini Blues. I think it was a night in early April. I can't remember the date, I don't take that Binko Bolobo it upsets my stomach. That Bill Word is a cute guy, darlins...I loved doing his little contest. I had fun, the people were laughing at me all night, we all had a great time together. I have another video in my blog, darlins...please watch it, it's cute too.
Darlins....before you go, be sure to visit my daughter, Norma Jeanie,
Comedian andActress
I love all my fans, darlins!
Shop at my new store, darlins....own a piece of me. Won't that be cute?
TALENT WANTED www.showbizzle.com showbizzle is looking for a video host to do our new behind-the-scene interviews and other humorous segments. It's paid! Do you or someone you know love to be in front of the camera? Are you funny? … Charming? Quirky? Cool? 1. Become a member on the showbizzle website (it's freeeee) 2. Post a sample video on your profile page that shows off your talents. All videos will be seen by our producers.
Come on kids Just two clicks once a day and you could get me an audition for "The Big Gay Sketch Show" It's easier then taking your birth control and a lot more fun. If you could just cut and paste the link or try Clicking
I AM THANKFUL WHEN PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT…I AM THANKFUL WHEN PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING TO WEAR…I AM THANKFUL I AM ABLE TO WORK…I AM THANKFUL FOR SPENDING TIME WITH MY LOVED ONES…I AM THANKFUL I HAVE A HOME TO LIVE IN…I AM THANKFUL FOR CREATING HAPPY MEMORIES…I AM THANKFUL FOR HAVING LIFE…I AM THANKFUL FOR OVERCOMING MISFORTUNES, BECOMING WISER AND STRONGER FROM THEM…I AM THANKFUL FOR THE ABUNDANCE OF WEALTH IN LOVE I SHARE…I AM THANKFUL FOR CHEERING THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO HAVE MADE SACRIFICES FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS…I AM THANKFUL YOU BECAME A BLESSING IN MY LIFE AND GRACED ME WITH YOUR GOOD HEARTED SPIRIT…I AM THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL 365 DAYS OUT OF THE YEAR…I AM NOT THANKFUL...I AM BLESSED…to everyone I have respect and care about..I want to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving,hope your holiday dinner is full of good food,delicious treats,& within the presence of loved ones...remember to appreciate one another in this time and please be grateful for having an opportunity like that...because many this year lost so much in such a little time...hopefully you guys will take the time to go out there & share some of your time or donations to the less unfortunate & don't forget to thank those people who were able to lend a helping hand even if it was a small lil favor...with peace, Scooby love and xoxox you friend SCOOBY...chow for now...muah!!!
