Bill Burr

Bio:

I am a comedian. I live in NYC. The people above me are doing construction on their apartment. They’ve been tearing down walls and I now have a mouse in my apartment. My Super gave me some glue traps. I learned that the traps just catch the mouse but they don’t kill it. I asked my friend Charlie what to do when I catch the mouse, he said, “Drown the mutha’ f**ka.” I don’t want to do that. So I asked my girl what she’d do. She told me to, “Stick it in the bag and throw it down the shoot.” I don’t want to do that either. I think if I were stuck in a glue trap, I’d want somebody to blow my brains out. So I’m sitting here wondering where I can get a BB gun. I figure to a mouse that has to be like a .38. I’ll just give him two behind the ear and take him out mob style. When I’m not plotting the assassination of a rodent, I spend my free time talking to myself and transcribing drum parts to rock music from the 70”s and 80’s. I like to do that shit. It is what I do. When I don’t do that, I play drums. I’ve heard enough Led Zeppelin in my life to make me want to projectile vomit the second I hear “The Crunge”. Despite this, I’m still obsessed with John Bonham. I just bought a set of his cymbals on e bay thinking this will make me play like him. I know it won’t, but let me dream. I need to go to the hardware store.

Other TV Appearances:
Law and Order: Criminal Intent
Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn
Townies
Two Guys and a Girl

Movie Appearances:
Perfect Fit
Passionatta

Radio Appearances:
Opie and Anthony - XM Radio Ch. 202
Howard Stern Show

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Some of the parts I played on Chappelle's Show.


Me and Comedian Kevin Shea at a 49ers game. Kevin is the funniest Asian Comedian in the Pacific Northwest after 10 PM.


Robert "Lights Out" Kelly orders a protein shake before his Texas Death Match at Madison Square Garden.


Still shots from my HBO One Night Stand special


With World Champion Judah Freidlander, and Ben Bailey on the Last Night at the Boston Comedy Club. Everyone was sad and told funny stories about this legendary club that was to be no more. Then the club reopened two nights later and we all felt stupid. (It's now called the Comedy Village)


Comics Come Home With Colin Quinn, Jim Lauletta, Ken Rogerson and the infamous Bird Shirt.


Comics Come Home From Left Steve Sweeney, Ken Rogerson, Adam Ferrara, Lenny Clarke, Denis Leary, Cam Neely, Jim Lauletta and myself


With Talent after his Morning Show on KISS FM. Although this looks like a promo for a really bad sit com. COMING TO ABC THIS FALL!!!!


Me at the 2004 World Series


With Charlie Murphy and Donnel Rawlings for Rich Bitch Tour 2005

Member Since:

March 20, 2005