Jake was on his deathbed while his wife, Becky, maintained a steady vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his, and roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to quiver with sound.
"My darling Becky," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep Shhh! Don't talk."
But he was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I slept with your sister, your best friend and our next door neighbor."
Becky mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now Jake, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Two cannibals are eating a clown. The first cannabal says to the second, "Does this taste funny to you."
A closer look into work... Miss March Howard TV 2008
Howard Stern Bowling Beauties 5 episodes
MORE WORK..LOL..
Who I'd like to meet:
The Happy Hangover
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"
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HHEEEYYY BIG RED!!!! what's up Bree just had to come by and say hi see what's new and what's going on with you.hope your doing well and having a great summer so far.as always love your page and those pics are making this summer heat even hotter...who needs a sauna when we have the lovely and loveable Brenda Lynn?? keep kicking ass and sending you all my love and best wishes.
Havent visited u in a few days so i guess i making up for a little lost time! Sorry lol.. So i wanted to wish u a Happy 4th of July in advance! Brenda i have great news and bad news! The great news is that Obama invited me to the WhiteHouse FOR THE 4TH!He told me to bring whomever i wanted so i told him "Mr. President i cannot go to ur function unless i get to bring Brenda Acevedo with me" Obama says "Scott my friend are u talking about Miss Howard TV Of The Year Brenda?"! I says "Yes Sir,thats the one." President says "What are you crazy? Im the President OF The United States Of America and she wont even date me!" Scott" Yes Obama Sir"? "GO FUCK YOURSELF"! LOL :)
I'm so happy that you've added me as my friend! It is hard to imagine that someone can be as beautiful and sexy as you are! Keep up your good work! I'll visit your page as often as possible. That's the best medicine for having wonderful and happy days!
Hope you have some time and energy to visit my page as well, and add a comment and/or a kiss !
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