i was born on an airforce base in Polk County Wisconsin, Raised in Lodi California, Graduated High School, caused trouble landed in jail once or twice found my way to Southern California, got onto internet radio before the big crash, became an ordained minister, work on FM radio, became a certified paralegal, got into Voice OVer ( I Love Cartoons), then found comedy. so when i’m not working, you can find me wrestling my cat and watching tivo’d cartoons.
My Great Great Uncle - 1952 Louis A. Bowman repeats his revised Pledge at several other meetings of the Sons of the American Revolution. After one meeting in 1952, member John F. McKillip writes about the "under God" addition to his former employer, the newspaper tycoon William R. Hearst, Jr. The Hearst Newspapers begin a campaign to add "under God" to the U.S. Pledge of Allegiance.
1992 John W. Baer, D.A., M.B.A.
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"Jester’s Creed."
Laugh and the glad world laughs with you;
Weep and the sad world will sigh!
Mirth is our life’s true elixir;
It shows you’re a "regular guy."
There’s nothing that so banishes worry,
Nor puts such a big crimp in sin;
Nor smooths out the wrinkles of trouble,
Like a jolly old Jester-mans grin!
It rolls off the years from your shoulders;
You’ll forget that you’ve grown to be men!
Your youth turns once more to embrace you;
For you’ve grown to be school boys again!
So, if you’ve got grouches, don’t bring ’em;
Its your laugh and your joke that we need;
For mirth is the doctor of trouble,
And Laughter, the Jester-man’s Creed!
Music
Lines to a Skeleton
Behold this ruin, "Twas a skull
Once of ethereal spirit full.
This narrow cell was Life's retreat,
This space was Thought's mysterious seat.
What beauteous visions filled this spot,
What dreams of pleasure long forgot?
Nor hope, nor joy, nor love, nor fear,
Have left one trace on record here.
Beneath this mouldering canopy
Once shone the bright and busy eye:
But start not at the dismal void--If social love that eye employed.
If with no lawless fire it gleamed,
But through the dews of kindness beamed;
That eye shall be forever bright
When stars and sun are sunk at night.
Within this hollow cavern hung
The ready, swift, and tuneful tongue;
If Falsehood's honey it disdained, And when it could not praise be chained.
If bold in Virtue's cause it spoke, Yet gentle concord never broke--This silent tongue shall plead for thee
When Time unveils Eternity.
Say, did these fingers delve the mine,
Or with the envied rubies shine?
To hew a rock or wear a gem
Can little now avail to them.
But if the page of truth they sought,
Or comfort to the mourners brought,
These hands a richer meed they claim
Than all that wait on Wealth and Fame.
Avails it whether bare or shod
These feet the paths of duty trod?
If from the bowers of Ease they fled.
To seek Affliction's humble shed.
If Grandeur's guilty bribe they spurned,
And home to Virtue's cot returned--These feet with angel wings shall vie, And tread the palace of the sky.
Movies
The Fool’s Prayer
By Edward Rowland Sill
THE ROYAL feast was done; the King
Sought some new sport to banish care,
And to his jester cried: “Sir Fool,
Kneel now, and make for us a prayer!”
The jester doffed his cap and bells, 5
And stood the mocking court before;
They could not see the bitter smile
Behind the painted grin he wore.
He bowed his head, and bent his knee
Upon the monarch’s silken stool; 10
His pleading voice arose: “O Lord,
Be merciful to me, a fool!
“No pity, Lord, could change the heart
From red with wrong to white as wool:
The rod must heal the sin; but, Lord, 15
Be merciful to me, a fool!
“ ’T is not by guilt the onward sweep
Of truth and right, O Lord, we stay;
’T is by our follies that so long
We hold the earth from heaven away. 20
“These clumsy feet, still in the mire,
Go crushing blossoms without end;
These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust
Among the heart-strings of a friend.
“The ill-timed truth we might have kept— 25
Who knows how sharp it pierced and stung!
The word we had not sense to say—
Who knows how grandly it had rung!
“Our faults no tenderness should ask,
The chastening stripes must cleanse them all; 30
But for our blunders—oh, in shame
Before the eyes of heaven we fall.
“Earth bears no balsam for mistakes;
Men crown the knave, and scourge the tool
That did his will; but Thou, O Lord, 35
Be merciful to me, a fool!”
The room was hushed; in silence rose
The King, and sought his gardens cool,
And walked apart, and murmured low,
“Be merciful to me, a fool!” 40
Television
articles of piracy
[edit] Robert Bartholomew articles
One of the best known sets of pirate articles was set down by the famous Welsh pirate Bartholomew Roberts in 1720. [1]
I. Every man has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity (not an uncommon thing among them) makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment.
II. Every man to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes because, (over and above their proper share) they were on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes: but if they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate, jewels, or money, marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was only betwixt one another, they contented themselves with slitting the ears and nose of him that was guilty, and set him on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere, where he was sure to encounter hardships.
III. No person to game at cards or dice for money.
IV. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night: if any of the crew, after that hour still remained inclined for drinking, they were to do it on the open deck
V. To keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass clean and fit for service.
VI. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man were to be found seducing any of the latter sex, and carried her to sea, disguised, he was to suffer death;(so that when any fell into their hands, as it chanced in the Onslow, they put a sentinel immediately over her to prevent ill consequences from so dangerous an instrument of division and quarrel; but then here lies the roguery; they contend who shall be sentinel, which happens generally to one of the greatest bullies, who, to secure the lady's virtue, will let none lie with her but himself.)
VII. To desert the ship or their quarters in battle, was punished with death or marooning.
VIII. No striking one another on board, but every man's quarrels to be ended on shore, at sword and pistol. (The quarter-master of the ship, when the parties will not come to any reconciliation, accompanies them on shore with what assistance he thinks proper, and turns the disputant back to back, at so many paces distance; at the word of command, they turn and fire immediately, (or else the piece is knocked out of their hands). If both miss, they come to their cutlasses, and then he is declared the victor who draws the first blood.)
IX. No man to talk of breaking up their way of living, till each had shared one thousand pounds. If in order to this, any man should lose a limb, or become a cripple in their service, he was to have eight hundred dollars, out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately.
X. The captain and quartermaster to receive two shares of a prize: the master, boatswain, and gunner, one share and a half, and other officers one and quarter.
XI. The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favour.
[edit] Captain John Phillips's articles
Captain John Phillips was the captain of the Revenge, who also set a code for his men in 1724;
I. Every Man Shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full Share and a half of all Prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain and Gunner shall have one Share and quarter.
II. If any Man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be maroon’d with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm, and Shot.
III. If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be marooned or shot.
IV. If any time we shall meet another Marooner that Man shall sign his Articles without the Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit.
V. That Man that shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Moses’s Law (that is, 40 Stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.
VI. That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoke Tobacco in the Hold, without a Cap to his Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article.
VII. That Man shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.
VIII. If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement, shall have 400 Pieces of Eight ; if a Limb, 800.
IX. If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death
[edit] Articles of Edward Low and George Lowther
The articles listed below are attributed by the Boston News-Letter to Captain Edward Low. The first eight of these articles are essentially identical to those attributed to pirate captain George Lowther by Charles Johnson. Since Lowther and Low are known to have sailed together from about New Year's to May 28, 1722, it is probable that both reports are correct and that Low and Lowther shared the same articles, with Low's two extra articles being an ordinance, or amendment, adopted after the two crews separated.
I. The Captain is to have two full Shares; the [quarter] Master is to have one Share and one Half; The Doctor, Mate, Gunner and Boatswain, one Share and one Quarter.
II. He that shall be found guilty of taking up any Unlawful Weapon on Board the Privateer or any other prize by us taken, so as to Strike or Abuse one another in any regard, shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall see fit.
III. He that shall be found Guilty of Cowardice in the time of engagements, shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.
IV. If any Gold, Jewels, Silver, &c. be found on Board of any Prize or Prizes to the value of a Piece of Eight, & the finder do not deliver it to the Quarter Master in the space of 24 hours he shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.
V. He that is found Guilty of Gaming, or Defrauding one another to the value of a Royal of Plate, shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and the Majority of the Company shall think fit.
VI. He that shall have the Misfortune to loose a Limb in time of Engagement, shall have the Sum of Six hundred pieces of Eight, and remain aboard as long as he shall think fit.
VII. Good Quarters to be given when Craved.
VIII. He that sees a Sail first, shall have the best Pistol or Small Arm aboard of her.
IX. He that shall be guilty of Drunkenness in time of Engagement shall suffer what Punishment the Captain and Majority of the Company shall think fit.
X. No snapping of Guns in the Hold.
Books
Brahm Stroker's Dracula, Dr. Suess Green eggs & Ham
Heroes
Dracula, American Dad, elmer fudd,
Comedian Brenden's Details
Status:
Engaged
Here for:
Networking, Friends
Orientation:
Straight
Hometown:
Lodi, California
Body type:
5' 11" / Average
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Religion:
Other
Zodiac Sign:
Aries
Children:
Someday
Education:
Some college
Occupation:
Comedian
Income:
$250,000 and Higher
Comedian Brenden's Schools
Los Angeles City College
Los Angeles,California
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Major: Psychology
Minor: Music/computer/networking
1987 to 1989
Lodi High
Lodi,California
Graduated: 1987
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
About me: Well to support my comedy habit i have an online travel agency- www.brendentravels.org outside that hell don't ask me, i live with my Bengal cat in our 2 bedroom townhouse in Valley Village. i have to say our's other wise the furry lil bastard will meow non stop hahahaha. so let's see i use to ride a motorcycle, sell meth & and guns, then went to work for wal -mart till they fired me for not fitting the wal mart image go figure. and let's see i used to be a book binder, electrician, press operator, homeless crackhead, Chinese Satellite television programing saleman, network administrator, radio personality, voice over artist, Paralegal, Office Manager and now i like to think of myself as a loan shark hahahahaha, and i like to tell jokes at night.
Who I'd like to meet: Myself, once i find him. Ozzy Osourne, Robin Williams, Jonathon Winters (if he was still around), Howie Mandel, JoHnny Depp, ANgelea Lansberry, melanie mcdonald....and that's about i can think of for now.
twitter - follow me.........
VERSE 2 OF FIRST TRACK ON MY PAGE VERSE 2 I THANK GOD EVERYDAY THAT HE GAVE ME MY WIFE AND MY TWO LIL GIRLS, EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE IS LIKE A TEST, FEELING LIKE IM ROLLING THE DICE IN MY CHEST A DEEP PAIN, I AINT TREATING ME RIGHT ALL THE STRESS, I AINT SLEEPING AT NIGHT DONT UNDERSTAND, WHY I TRY STILL I CANT GET IT RIGHT A BIGGER PLAN, THAT WE ALL APART BUT WHERE TO START GOT ME LOST IM IN A MAZE, AND WRONG TURNS ARE THE COST OF LEARNING SOMETHING, SO WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE MISTAKES MADE A MAN FROM A SON, AN A SON TO A DAD AND A DAD TO THE ONE THAT WOULD GIVE HIS LAST BREATH TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER HAD ONE AND NOW IM FEELING IM DONE AND I DONE GAVE IT EVERYTHING THAT I GOT FOR THIS MUSIC ALOT OF PEOPLE THANK THAT IM HOT BUT GOD IF THE ONLY THING THAT I GET IS TO BE A HAPPY FAMILY I WOULD HAVE NO REGRETS SO GOODBLESS GOODNIGHT
I love you man. Not that way, like I'm trying to swoon you love you, it's kinda like, "I love you man, F*&%k.." Ya know? Not that there's anything wrong with that other, I mean to each his own, if you like that kinda stuff that's your deal, who am I to judge, you, and your "closer" friends. Hey, have fun. I'm really not offended one way or the other if that's your deal. I'm not here to judge you and your evil, uh, righteous, uh, sinful, I'll tell you what. Let's just leave it at, have a nice day, pal. That's better. Man, for some reason I'm thinking right about now "sup", woulda been sufficient.
Sorry you couldn't make it last night Brenden, it was a great show. Hope you can be there next Tuesday for our new show combining Great Beatles Classics with Live Comedy. It's going to be a fantastic Mix. Spread the word.
