It's all right. You couldn't help it that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed— so you were a good man just the same.
Male
29 years old
LaGrangeville, NY, New York
United States
Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention, Rob/White Zombie, Talking Heads, David Bowie, Blondie, Devo, Goblin, Pink Floyd, Janis Ian, Tom Waits, Kimya Dawson, They Might Be Giants, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Oingi Boingo, "Weird Al" Yankovic...
Movies
Favorite movie of all time: Dawn of the Dead (original).
other favorite movies:
Horror: The rest of Romero's zombie flicks, Cemetery Man, Dead Alive, Evil Dead 2, American Psycho, Return of the Living Dead, Re-Animator, Cronenberg's The Fly, A Nightmare on Elm Street 1 & 3-5, more than half of the Jason movies, Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers, The Beyond, Phenomena (aka Creepers), Tenebrae, Deep Red, Burial Ground, Hellraiser I, II, & V, Phantasm, From Dusk Till Dawn, Grindhouse, Demons, The Church, Black Sunday, Mario Bava's Shock, Hostel, John Carpenter's The Thing, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1 & 2, Bride of Chucky, Seed of Chucky, Shaun of the Dead, An American Werewolf in London, Dagon, From Beyond, Alien, Pieces, The Hills Have Eyes (original & remake), The Frighteners, The People Under the Stairs, Doctor Butcher: MD, Basket Case, The Church, Night of the Comet, Night of the Creeps, Slither, Creepshow, Ginger Snaps 1 & 2, Nightmare City, Gates of Hell, Cabin Fever, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, The Sentinel, Fido, The Cottage, Demonoid: Messenger of Death!, Severance, The Haunting (original), Killer Klowns From Outers Space, Slaughterhouse, Skinned Deep, The Wizard of Gore, Le Fin Absolue Du Monde...
Nonhorror: Freaked, Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Annie Hall, Bad Taste, Shogun Assassin, Crimes & Misdemeanors, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Stardust Memories, Shadows & Fog, Labyrinth, The Royal Tennenbaums, High Planes Drifter, Heavenly Creatures, Big Trouble in Little China, Videodrome, The Great Muppet Caper, The Sniper, The Incident, Ed Wood, Taxi Driver, Forbiddon Zone, Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son-in-Law, Naked Lunch, Harold and Maude, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Clerks, Mars Attacks!, Santa Sangre, The Holy Mountain, Serial Mom, Female Trouble, L.A. Story, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Ghostbusters, Ricky-O: The Story of Ricky, CQ, Seven, Adaptation, Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical, Cradle Will Rock, Boogie Nights, Nacho Libre, Austin Powers trilogy, Jackie Brown, most Marx Brothers stuff...
Favorite directors: George A. Romero. John Waters. Dario Argento. David Cronenberg. Alexandro Jodorowsky. Jose Mojica Marins. ARTPIG. Tod Browning. Woody Allen. Clint Eastwood. John Carpenter. Todd Solondz. Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Mary Harron. Juan Piquer Simon. Peter Jackson. Michele Soavi. Orson Welles. Stuart Gordon. Terry Gilliam. Quentin Tarantino. Mario Bava. Tim Burton. Lucio Fulci. Jan Svankmeyer. The Coen Brothers. Wes Craven. Robert Rodriguez. Stanley Kubrick. Russ Meyer. Wes Anderson. Eli Roth. Lamberto Bava. Don Coscarelli. Sergio Leone. Jack Hill. Michael Gondry. Spike Jonze. Paul Bartel. Hal Hartly. Joss Whedon. Clive Barker. David Fincher. Sam Raimi. Rob Zombie. Guillermo del Toro. Herschell Gordon Lewis. Edward D. Wood, Jr. Idi Amin.
....
Television
Nothing can top watching "Mystery Science Theater 3000", unless it's watching "Mystery Science Theater 3000" while *EXPLETIVE DELETED*
Zee's Current Favorite Programs: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, The League of Gentlemen, Twin Peaks, Doctor Who, Peep Show, Snuff Box, The Mighty Boosh, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, The Muppet Show, Mr. Show With Bob and David, The Young Ones, The Office and Extras, Get A Life, USA Up All Night, TNT MonsterVision, WonderShowzen, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Fawlty Towers, Little Britain, Man to Man with Dean Learner, The Sarah Silvermen Program, Freaks & Geeks, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Arrested Development, Strangers With Candy, The Kids in the Hall, South Park...
Some of my all-time favorite MST3K episodes: (110) Robot Holocaust, (203) Jungle Goddess, (205) Rocket Attack U.S.A., (206) Ring of Terror, (207) The Wild Rebels, (209) The Hellcats, (212) Godzilla vs Megalon, (303) Pod People, (306) Time of the Apes, (307) Daddy-O, (310) Fugitive Alien, (311) It Conquered the World, (313) Earth vs. The Spider, (316) Gamera vs. Zigra, (318) Star Force: Fugitive Alien 2, (319) War of the Colossal Beast, (322) Master Ninja 1, (404) Teenagers From Outer Space, (405) Being From Another Planet, (406) Attack of the Giant Leeches, (411) The Magic Sword, (413) Manhunt in Space, (417) Crash of the Moons, (418) Attack of the The Eye Creatures, (419) The Rebel Set, (421) Monster A Go-Go, (423) Bride of the Monster, (424) "Manos" The Hands of Fate, (501) Warrior of the Lost World, (506) Eegah, (509) The Girl in Lover's Lane, (512) Mitchell, (513) The Brain That Wouldn't Die, (519) Outlaw, (521) Santa Claus, (523) Village of the Giants, (603) The Dead Talk Back, (604) Zombie Nightmare, (606) The Creeping Terror, (609) The Skydivers, (610) The Violent Years, (611) The Last of the Wild Horses, (613) The Sinister Urge, (615) Kitten With a Whip, (619) Red Zone Cuba, (621) The Beast of Yucca Flats, (622) Angel's Revenge, (624) Samson vs. The Vampire Women, (703) Deathstalker and The Warriors From Hell, (704) The Incredible Melting Man, (705) Escape 2000, (706) Laserblast, (806) The Undead, (810) The Giant Spider Invasion, (812) The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, (813) Jack Frost, (814) Riding With Death, (817) The Horror of Party Beach, (820) Space Mutiny, (821) Time Chasers, (822) Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, (903) The Pumaman, (904) Werewolf, (907) Hobgoblins, (910) The Final Sacrifice, (911) Devil Fish, (913) The Quest of the Delta Knights, (1001) Soultaker, (1003) Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, (1004) Future War, (1005) The Blood Waters of Dr. Z, (1006) Boggy Creek II: ...And The Legend Continues, (1011) The Horrors of Spider Island, (1012) Squirm, (1013) Diabolik.
Books
I read a lot of true crime stuff, the best so far being LOBSTER BOY by Fred Rosen.
My favorite novels include Sirens of Titan, Slapstick, Slaughterhouse 5, Cat's Cradle, Mother Night, Confederacy of Dunces, Catch-22, Mike Nelson's Death Rat!, The Great and Secret Show, Everville, The Books of Blood, Poppy Z. Brite's Exquisite Corpse... some of my favorite non-novels are The Psychotronic Encyclopedia & Video Guide, Harpo Speaks!, Shock Value by John Waters, Book of the Dead: The Complete History of Zombie Cinema, Kevin Murphy's A Year at the Movies... and I'll read pretty much anything and everything by Ann Rule, Kurt Vonnegut, Clive Barker, Mark Gatiss, Daniel Pinkwater, Michael J. Nelson, Douglas Adams, H.P. Lovecraft, or Idi Amin.
Dutchess Community College
Poughkeepsie,New York
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Major: trying to get laid
Minor: also trying to get laid
Clubs: I never got laid as much as I hoped I would.
1997 to 1999
Arlington Hs
La Grangeville,New York
Graduated: 1997
Student status: Alumni
Clubs: Glee Club, The Philanthropist's Club, Future Farmers of America, The "So You've Got an Abnormally Large Penis" Club. I also fixed up an abandoned youth center just in time for the big break dancing contest.
1993 to 1997
Zee sez PLEASE go friend request him at his myspace comedy page, http://www.myspace.com/zachariahsmith69 view more
About me: Hello, and welcome to the 289,385,288,397th most popular page on MySpace. My name is Zack. I have come to the conclusion that, other than exterminating all rational thought, the only logical reaction to this ultimately trivial and futile world is bemused detachment and ridicule. By dedicating myself to seemingly shallow entertainment-based topics as captioning (see the obnoxiously-large text in the "general interests" section at left), movies (both general and zombie-related), puppets, hot glue, and Super Freak-Out (c) I hope to unsync myself from the narrow grooves of "traditional human life" and reach a nirvana of extrospective revelations (although to hope for such a thing would be too naive for words). I also like The Golden Girls a lot.
I'm also an aspiring (read: failed) actor, having performed (humiliated myself) in several (few) plays and short films. I used to write a lot but now I mostly type. I enjoy the company of my friends and have been known to get quite "rowdy" in the right combination of people(s), place(s), and booze(s). My penis has been told it's exceptional and I am quite awfully fond of fountain soda. I visit Burnham, PA at least once a year to commiserate with the mysterious ARTPIG CORPORATION. My IM handle is BrotherZee69.
"...All things considered, being shot is not as bad as I always thought it might be- as long as you can keep the fear from your mind.... I guess you could say that about most anything in life: It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind...
....At a time like this, curiously, you begin to think of the things you regret or the things you might miss.... I would like in general to treat people with much more care an respect... I would like to climb a tall hill.... Not too tall... I'd sit in the cool grass... Not too cool... and feel the sun on my face. I wish I could've cracked the Lindberg kidnapping case. I would very much like to make love to a beautiful women who I had genuine affection for... and of course it goes without saying that I would like to go to Tibet... I wish they could get their country back and the Dalai Lama could return... Oh, I would like that very much..... All in all, a very interesting experience..."
-Special Agent Dale Cooper, lying in a puddle of his own blood
"Over and over again I have said that
there is no way out of the present
impasse. If we were wide awake we
would be instantly struck by the horrors
which surround us... We would drop
our tools, quit our jobs, deny our obli-
gations, pay no taxes, observe no laws,
and so on. Could the man or woman
who is thoroughly awakened possibly
do the crazy things which are now
expected of him or her every moment
of the day?" -Henry Miller, "The World of Sex"
"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee." -Special Agent Dale Cooper
Slartibartfast: Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day. Arthur Dent: And are you? Slartibartfast: Ahhhh... no. Well, that's where it all falls down, of course.
"Underneath that moronic veneer lurks a thirst for blood. An invidious potential for lawlessness and despair, existential and otherwise."
-Roadside Prophets
"Don't extrapolate a relationship from a biological accident!" -The Doctor
"White people, black people, brown people, yellow people, get rid of 'em all/ All we need is a voluntary, free spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction/ Everybody just gotta keep fuckin' everybody til they're all the same color" -Bulworth
"Well, If not us, who? And if not now, when?" -George C. Scott in Exorcist III
Partly because I love the film music of Jazz composer/film composer Dave ("The Goonies") Grusin, partly because this is one of my all-time favorite musical compositions of his, and partly because I just love this old TV series from my childhood, here's Dave Grusin's theme from the television series "It Takes A Thief" starring Robert Wagner. -Anyway, enjoy! :)
HEY ZEE,MY BUDDY AND I JUST FINISHED WATCHING A BOOTLEG VERSION OF A FILM CALLED "orphan".(great copy by the way).THE LITTLE GIRL IN THIS FILM COULD POSSIBLY BE THE NEXT HORROR GODDESS..SHE WAS AWESOME!!
Hey. Great job again tonight. I was watching the set at home and laughed again. I really do want to show some comic support by adding funds next Thursday but I'm not sure Coop would forgive me for it if BOTH of us failed to show.
"I think progress is the biggest enemy on earth, apart from oneself… I think we're gonna take good care of this planet shortly… there's never been a weapon created yet on the face of the Earth that hadn't been used…
…We're run by the Pentagon, we're run by Madison Avenue, we're run by television, and as long as we accept those things and don't revolt we'll have to go along with the stream to the eventual avalanche… As long as we go out and buy stuff, we're at their mercy. We're at the mercy of the advertiser and of course there are certain things that we need, but a lot of the stuff that is bought is not needed…
…We all live in a little Village… Your village may be different from other people's villages but we are all prisoners."
-Patrick Joseph McGoohan, actor, writer and director, born 19 March 1928; died 13 January 2009
Perhaps this will slightly atone for the admittedly crappy unicorn comment: The totally kick-ass original theme music to the British spy television series, "Danger-Man!" The series starred a pre-"Prisoner" Patrick McGoohan. Unfortunately, when the CBS Television Network bought the rights to run the "Danger-Man" series in the United States, CBS forced the producers of "Danger-Man" to change the original title of the show to "Secret Agent," and replace the original theme music with the bland pop-song "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers. This is the original, and in my opinion, superior theme music to "Danger-Man!" -Anyway, enjoy! :)
Horror: The rest of Romero's zombie flicks, Cemetery Man, Dead Alive, Evil Dead 2, American Psycho, Return of the Living Dead, Re-Animator, Cronenberg's The Fly, A Nightmare on Elm Street 1 & 3-5, more than half of the Jason movies, Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers, The Beyond, Phenomena (aka Creepers), Tenebrae, Deep Red, Burial Ground, Hellraiser I, II, & V, Phantasm, From Dusk Till Dawn, Grindhouse, Demons, The Church, Black Sunday, Mario Bava's Shock, Hostel, John Carpenter's The Thing, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1 & 2, Bride of Chucky, Seed of Chucky, Shaun of the Dead, An American Werewolf in London, Dagon, From Beyond, Alien, Pieces, The Hills Have Eyes (original & remake), The Frighteners, The People Under the Stairs, Doctor Butcher: MD, Basket Case, The Church, Night of the Comet, Night of the Creeps, Slither, Creepshow, Ginger Snaps 1 & 2, Nightmare City, Gates of Hell, Cabin Fever, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, The Sentinel, Fido, The Cottage, Demonoid: Messenger of Death!, Severance, The Haunting (original), Killer Klowns From Outers Space, Slaughterhouse, Skinned Deep, The Wizard of Gore, Le Fin Absolue Du Monde...
Nonhorror: Freaked, Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Annie Hall, Bad Taste, Shogun Assassin, Crimes & Misdemeanors, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Stardust Memories, Shadows & Fog, Labyrinth, The Royal Tennenbaums, High Planes Drifter, Heavenly Creatures, Big Trouble in Little China, Videodrome, The Great Muppet Caper, The Sniper, The Incident, Ed Wood, Taxi Driver, Forbiddon Zone, Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son-in-Law, Naked Lunch, Harold and Maude, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Clerks, Mars Attacks!, Santa Sangre, The Holy Mountain, Serial Mom, Female Trouble, L.A. Story, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Ghostbusters, Ricky-O: The Story of Ricky, CQ, Seven, Adaptation, Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical, Cradle Will Rock, Boogie Nights, Nacho Libre, Austin Powers trilogy, Jackie Brown, most Marx Brothers stuff...
Favorite directors: George A. Romero. John Waters. Dario Argento. David Cronenberg. Alexandro Jodorowsky. Jose Mojica Marins. ARTPIG. Tod Browning. Woody Allen. Clint Eastwood. John Carpenter. Todd Solondz. Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Mary Harron. Juan Piquer Simon. Peter Jackson. Michele Soavi. Orson Welles. Stuart Gordon. Terry Gilliam. Quentin Tarantino. Mario Bava. Tim Burton. Lucio Fulci. Jan Svankmeyer. The Coen Brothers. Wes Craven. Robert Rodriguez. Stanley Kubrick. Russ Meyer. Wes Anderson. Eli Roth. Lamberto Bava. Don Coscarelli. Sergio Leone. Jack Hill. Michael Gondry. Spike Jonze. Paul Bartel. Hal Hartly. Joss Whedon. Clive Barker. David Fincher. Sam Raimi. Rob Zombie. Guillermo del Toro. Herschell Gordon Lewis. Edward D. Wood, Jr. Idi Amin.
Some of my all-time favorite MST3K episodes: (110) Robot Holocaust, (203) Jungle Goddess, (205) Rocket Attack U.S.A., (206) Ring of Terror, (207) The Wild Rebels, (209) The Hellcats, (212) Godzilla vs Megalon, (303) Pod People, (306) Time of the Apes, (307) Daddy-O, (310) Fugitive Alien, (311) It Conquered the World, (313) Earth vs. The Spider, (316) Gamera vs. Zigra, (318) Star Force: Fugitive Alien 2, (319) War of the Colossal Beast, (322) Master Ninja 1, (404) Teenagers From Outer Space, (405) Being From Another Planet, (406) Attack of the Giant Leeches, (411) The Magic Sword, (413) Manhunt in Space, (417) Crash of the Moons, (418) Attack of the The Eye Creatures, (419) The Rebel Set, (421) Monster A Go-Go, (423) Bride of the Monster, (424) "Manos" The Hands of Fate, (501) Warrior of the Lost World, (506) Eegah, (509) The Girl in Lover's Lane, (512) Mitchell, (513) The Brain That Wouldn't Die, (519) Outlaw, (521) Santa Claus, (523) Village of the Giants, (603) The Dead Talk Back, (604) Zombie Nightmare, (606) The Creeping Terror, (609) The Skydivers, (610) The Violent Years, (611) The Last of the Wild Horses, (613) The Sinister Urge, (615) Kitten With a Whip, (619) Red Zone Cuba, (621) The Beast of Yucca Flats, (622) Angel's Revenge, (624) Samson vs. The Vampire Women, (703) Deathstalker and The Warriors From Hell, (704) The Incredible Melting Man, (705) Escape 2000, (706) Laserblast, (806) The Undead, (810) The Giant Spider Invasion, (812) The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, (813) Jack Frost, (814) Riding With Death, (817) The Horror of Party Beach, (820) Space Mutiny, (821) Time Chasers, (822) Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, (903) The Pumaman, (904) Werewolf, (907) Hobgoblins, (910) The Final Sacrifice, (911) Devil Fish, (913) The Quest of the Delta Knights, (1001) Soultaker, (1003) Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, (1004) Future War, (1005) The Blood Waters of Dr. Z, (1006) Boggy Creek II: ...And The Legend Continues, (1011) The Horrors of Spider Island, (1012) Squirm, (1013) Diabolik.
Hello, and welcome to the 289,385,288,397th most popular page on MySpace. My name is Zack. I have come to the conclusion that, other than exterminating all rational thought, the only logical reaction to this ultimately trivial and futile world is bemused detachment and ridicule. By dedicating myself to seemingly shallow entertainment-based topics as captioning (see the obnoxiously-large text in the "general interests" section at left), movies (both general and zombie-related), puppets, hot glue, and Super Freak-Out (c) I hope to unsync myself from the narrow grooves of "traditional human life" and reach a nirvana of extrospective revelations (although to hope for such a thing would be too naive for words). I also like The Golden Girls a lot. 
